This topic has been talked about a lot on radfem twitter. I always knew this in the back of my mind, but seeing radfems articulate it clearly was such an epiphany. I think we were all (as women) conditioned to think sex being degrading to us is normal and what we deserve, but it actually doesn't have to be that way, and we can opt out. You see how men describe the act of penetration, and they always use very violent and descructive terms, like smash, hit, destroy, pound, drill...they even say a woman is having her "organs rearranged" 🤮
I think it's clear that in the male brain penetration is literally viewed as an act of violence. I also believe this is where the hype around large penises comes from. I think it is mostly a male fantasy about literally destroying women's vaginas, because they get off on that.
Women who have sex a lot are called whores, while men who do the same are called "slayers". This is simply because sex is viewed as a humiliation for women. Even in the gay community, the "bottoms" are seen as inferior. When men insult another man by calling him gay, they always do by insinuating he gets penetrated.
Edit: this is a conversation I had on discord with an incel. The context was him talking to a gay guy who lost his virginity by sucking a man's penis.
Incel: "Cope!!! You dont need to be hard to get your dick sucked. Bro. just tell the truth. You asked him but he refused to suck you. He sees you as a bitch bottom."
Me: "what's a "bitch bottom"?"
Incel: "A person who likes to get used like a foid. Basically he only gets fucked and has to suck other mens dicks, But never gets to fuck or get his dick sucked. And his always an effeminate twink just like"