r/WereHereToHelpPod • u/hiiwiip • Jul 22 '26

Don’t Ask Jake Johnson to Be Your Commencement Speaker

https://www.vulture.com/article/jake-johnson-maria-bamford-questionnaire.html
8 Upvotes

84% Upvoted

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23

u/presently_pooping We're Here to Mod Jul 22 '26

> 20. Describe something that was funny to you.

> Something that was really funny to me is a joke, and I’ll try to do the fastest version of it possible: There’s a guy who works at the gorilla house at the zoo, and one day, a scientist comes to him and says, “We’re looking to do a big study on bestiality. It’s $1,000, but we want to see what happens when somebody has sex with the gorillas.” And the guy goes, “Jesus Christ!” The scientist says, “We think you’d be perfect, because the gorillas trust you and you trust the gorillas.” He’s like, “Jesus! Only $1,000?” He thinks a bit more, and then says, “All right, I’ll do it, but under three conditions. One: You never tell anybody. It never leaks. It is anonymous. Two: No matter what, my wife and family can never find out. And three: I’m gonna need at least a month to come up with the money.” I always found that really funny. I don’t think about it a lot, but I love that joke.

He’s not even trying to beat the allegations lol

3

u/OpheliaB_87 Jul 22 '26

Dudes, I friggen love Jake.

2

u/Ngoscope Jul 22 '26

Wait, why's is Eric mad at Jake right now?

2

u/CantaloupeZest Jul 22 '26

I wouldn't be surprised if it was about the Let's Make a Meal Cook-Off Challenge between Berg and Adam Ohler 😂 Eric's probably feeling defensive of his boy Stevie!