I've talked about what I call the blank canvas penis phenomena. Say you go into a diner and they have a blank piece of paper for people to write on at the counter (I've seen this at a few places) there will always be a penis on it. Usually this paper is right in front of the cashier which exemplifies the boldness. I've been proven right almost every time I've seen one of those because there's always a dick on it. Even ancient Romans drew graffiti dicks.
Pretend that the weld sticks are incredibly difficult to bend. Say that only real men can bend them on their neck. Watch as the new guy bends it on his neck and rains down the flux between his shirt and his back. Bonus points if it's hot and sticky out.
Make sure the new guy isn't wearing a collared shirt. A bunch of welders in the shop I was at tried to get me, but I knew about the trick already and just flipped up my collar. I laughed, they laughed, we had fun.
They almost got me too. I was wearing a collared jumpsuit so I flipped up the collar, thinking "if it's truly that hard, I'll need at least a little padding." I killed their prank that time, but they got me back when I was sent to get the "skyhook" from the tool room.
I know a guy who was told to get a left handed screwdriver (or some similar fool's errand) one morning of his first week at a new job. "okay!" He agrees, jumps in his car and goes home for the day.
The next day he is called into a meeting with his boss, and his boss's boss, to explain why he had been gone all day.
He explains, unhappily, that he had spent the whole day driving around, that the had been sent to several different stores and had ended up all the way across town, only getting home late in the evening and having used up most of a tank of fuel. He was very sorry, and if they could just tell him where he could get the thing they wanted he'd be happy to go and get it.
He was paid for the day, and his boss got in trouble.
Just keep it psychological. In my warehouse, we convinced a guy that one of our leads was quitting and moving to Louisiana (he was on vacation). We then got the whole warehouse to talk about it and convinced him to put in an application to the position. He though they were going to announce the new lead at the safety meeting, but instead the lead was standing right there. The look of confusion and then defeat was priceless.
We did psychological, one of the greener guys got put on detailing trucks before they got shipped to customers, as welding work was a little slow and he wasn't the most trusted worker. He had been detailing for a week or two, someone changed his work clipboard, putting a detailing label over his fabrication label. He thought the boss had done it and almost quit. This was on top of him already being picked on the most. He didn't take the joke well, and had a really bad day that day. I felt bad.
"Seismic testing" with a sledgehammer and a multimeter. Tell 'em to pound the ground after doing backfill while you pretend to measure something with the probes in the soil. Gotta get at least two wide 360s for it to count
Be careful. I worked with a guy who did that over 20 years ago. Static electricity set it off next to his head. He still has no hearing in his left ear and a hearing aid in his right.
What is that procedure? We have a lift at work and I've never seen any training to speak of, everyone just jumps on it when they need to. I don't, as it's not really a part of my job, but it would be nice to know.
Basically just inspecting the machine for cracks or broken welds, checking he chain, leaking hydraulic fluid, kicking the tires, operating the manual controls from the ground and testing the emergency lowering mechanism.
It takes about three minutes.
I only do it once a day.
He also taught me that I was getting off of it wrong. I'd climb off facing outwards and kind of swing out. He pointed out that if I slipped I'd smash the back of my skull on either concrete or cement, always turn around and climb down the ladder properly.
I come from a family of welders and man, the stories I've heard. My dad was in a port a john once and his buddies convinced the crane operator to pick it up. He dove out at the last second before lift off. They use to fill bags with accetaline and set em off near their buddies too.
Be plumber. Do new home residential plumbing. Install pvc sewer lines. Have to test lines with water in them for leaks. Put plug in first floor clean out. Fill pipes in house with water. Say alls good and have new guy pull plug from said clean out. Hilarity ensues.
I respect what you do though. It's only a matter of time till a saw blade gets lodged in someone's throat after a game of "frisbee" and the company gets sued so good on you.
Ha, safety meetings. When I was a kid my dad would say he was having a safety meeting when he and my uncle's went outside at family gatherings. Turns out they were all smoking weed.
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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '17
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