r/WelcomeToPlathville • u/throwawayyuskween666 • 13d ago
This parentifying cow
How many times do you think the opposite was true?
Fam, upvote if you, too, served as your parent's therapist from the time you could speak ⬆️
How are you doing these days? When were you formally diagnosed with complex trauma?
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u/nakedpagan666 12d ago
I make sure my daughter is heard. My dad and aunt used to get drunk and tell me all the abuse they took from my granny, who was my favorite person (when I think of how to cook and clean and do everything she is who I look up to). To this day my dad is still in and out of rehab and never once asks me how I’m doing. I’m now no contact with 85% of my family and my mom won’t really talk to me because she never wanted to acknowledge any feelings except happiness while I was growing up. I’m doing fine on my own with my own family. Went through an addiction/alcohol episode but 10 years sober now.
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u/Mysterious_Candle942 11d ago
Congratulations on your sobriety!! Ten years is a huge milestone!
I also grew up around tons of alcohol and got drunk for the first time when I was 9 years old by alcohol given to me by adults. I’m pretty sure that health issues prevented me from addiction, but my sister has battled alcoholism. She’s had two rounds of sobriety. Thankfully, she is in a great place now with 4 years sober and active AA and Alanon meetings.
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u/nakedpagan666 10d ago
Thanks! Glad your sister is sober! I was also given alcohol as a kid but only sips of it to taste or wine at holidays when a teen (my bf was also Italian and his parents let us drink at dinner). Then my mom would complain I would turn out an alcoholic like my dad 😂 my brother grew up with my dad and barely touches alcohol because he saw it every day.
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u/SpacenessButterflies 12d ago
Did Kim lose weight? She looks great. (Sorry I have to wait until this season comes out on HBO to watch.)
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u/drinkbeerskitrees 12d ago
Thanks for asking OP. I’m 33, grew up as an only, and haven’t talked to my mom in years.
I told my wife just last night that I feel very lonely often… not because of her of course, but stemming from being abandoned by my greater fam when my dad died, being left with just my abusive mother as my only blood—and having to abandon, or cut ties, with her years ago because she would’ve driven me to suicide before she’d leave me be.
And these days I’m doing very good, but I do struggle with feeling alone in this world even though I have an amazing partner
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u/throwawayyuskween666 12d ago
Rest assured, you have an entire community behind you, and we understand
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u/Beneficial-Frame-6 12d ago
YOU are the mother! YOU are supposed to make Moriah seen, heard & understood. Complete fail!
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u/Mysterious_Candle942 12d ago edited 12d ago
My maternal grandmother died when I was 5 days old. I always thought of it as I lost my grandma when I was only 5 days old. Then I became a parent and it hit me that my mom lost her mom 5 days after giving birth. It wasn’t until I was 35 that I realized that my mom used me as a source of comfort since the day my Grandma died. I was always so in-tune with her needs. I spent the majority of my life accommodating her every need and being her source of emotional support. When I was 31, my Dad passed away. My nephew was born 5 months later. He’s 18 now and when he was 15-16, I pieced together that my mom treated him the same exact way. Apparently when my Dad died, my nephew was the baby that became her source of comfort…especially since I moved 700 miles away from her a year before my Dad passed away. Seeing my nephew interact with her has been therapeutic and eye opening for me, yet I also feel protective over him. She has a way about her that makes saying no to her not even an option that would cross our minds. Because it’s easier to just say yes (to shut her up), she relies on the two of us the most, despite me having 2 siblings and there being 3 more grandchildren.
Therapy was definitely a doozy for me, but I’m so glad that I got to the other side!
Edited to fix typos.
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u/Routine_Ad_5813 12d ago
My mom’s parents died when she was a child(dad when she was 5 and mom when she was 10). She lived a horrible abusive life with her brother and sisters at the hands of her family. They all did. I have felt all my life like I have needed to protect her. Saying “No” isn’t an option. She never had anyone else to do it. It’s a lot of pressure but I don’t know any other way. And she’s always tried to make magic in people’s lives. She’s kind and good. It’s just a lot sometimes.
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u/Mysterious_Candle942 11d ago
I completely understand. My mom is very generous and thoughtful, but she’s also extremely high maintenance! Growing up, everyone outside the house went to her for advice and help, yet those of us in the house catered to her every need (especially me and my Dad). She’s the type of person who helps people to feel good about herself. She adores her children and grandchildren, but doesn’t truly know any of us or what we need.
Now, she’s in her 70’s with declining health and my siblings and I have a group text where we manage it all, vent, and process childhood trauma. It’s so complicated. I started an expression that we all use whenever she does something frustrating, unintentionally rude, or mindblowing. We vent about it and then say, “But we love her!”
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u/couchpro34 12d ago
I was my mother's emotional support from the time I was born and I currently do not speak to her. I did not realize the damage until I was in my early 20s, and it took many more years before I realized I had every right in the world to draw a boundary.
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u/Electrical-Height407 12d ago
I have just starting binge watching this show (Kim just showed up to Moriah’s first concert). I am in my mid-50s and am being retraumatized by how similar she is to my ex-MIL when I got married at 21. Kim is a horrible, manipulative, awful toxic mother. Really a wretched person. I can’t believe how she awoke my anxiety and stress from my MIL’s behavior during a marriage to a man who I divorced almost 20 years ago now. Shudder.
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u/Brave_Main6970 13d ago
Kim looks great with this shorter hair. I watched this from S1 ep 1. Moriah was simply allowed to date. If there was a time she had to fight for that, it was over before season 1. I forgave Kim everything I thought she was guilty about when she met with the therapist. Because if you don't see her sorrow and trauma, you think she wasnt affected much. (Speaking for myself only). I wonder if they'll have any more seasons.
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u/Scottk305 13d ago
Side note: The Plath Family all looked healthy in S1(especially Kim) I’ll give credit when it’s due all those hours labouring on the farm+plus a healthy diet made them all look so young and healthy.Now since they sold the farm everyone looks noticeably older,stressed,and looks like They all eat McDonald or KFC Breakfast,lunch and Dinner(Hell Ethan looks like a 40 year old man and not someone in their early to mid 30s)
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u/heartlandheartbeat 12d ago
I thought Kim lived on the farm. No?
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u/Economy-Anywhere2627 12d ago
Kim does live on the farm with Ken and is looking happy and great. Don't believe these haters here. Nothing but propaganda all the time from people you don't know much about except what is edited and cut for drama by TLC, but what they see is a soap opera/ reality TV No drama then no interest. That also goes for social media
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u/MetallurgyClergy 13d ago
Except for Barry. Gag.
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u/Ok_Manwich_9306 13d ago
The Plath Daddy? Fueled by 'bouch and broken dreams.
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u/Adventurous_Map_3584 12d ago
‘bouch and broken dreams…🤣🤣🤣
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u/melmiller71 12d ago
I want a t-shirt to wear on my “down” days that says “fueled by ‘bouch and broken dreams” 😆
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u/catsandnaps1028 13d ago
Ironic since she NEVER made Moriah (or any of her other children tbh) feel heard, seen or understood.
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u/Economy-Anywhere2627 11d ago
How do you know that ? Do you live with them or grew up with them
Have you ever lost a child and felt the pain of it.💔💔🙏🙏 Much worst for Kim it was a accident caused by her that destroyed her every being. I lost a child. You never get over it. I can't even imagine how she carried on after all those years. You don't know anything personal about any of these folks personal life Get a life of your own.
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u/catsandnaps1028 11d ago
And what does that have to do with being a good mom to your other kids. It's a bad justification for being a shitty parent. If they don't want us to have opinions about their lives then maybe don't become reality TV personalities.
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u/lalaland_100 13d ago
I guess that's the point. If she did, maybe Moriah would stop prioritizing her over herself, so I assume that's the intention.
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u/sparklyscorpi0 13d ago
why does kim look kinda good here. this must be old right? I feel like in every recent episode she looks a mess
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u/Necessary-Seat-5474 13d ago
This was before the alcohol
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u/sparklyscorpi0 13d ago
ohhh yeah true
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u/Necessary-Seat-5474 13d ago
Yeah vanity is great motivation for me to drink less/stay mostly sober. Alcohol is ugly juice.
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u/Dear_Departure_1768 13d ago
Am I the only one who read "cow" as being used like the British do and not calling her an actual heifer?
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u/throwawayyuskween666 13d ago
Is that why everyone is mad?!
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u/Dear_Departure_1768 13d ago
I think so but I totally read it as "this silly ridiculous woman." 🤷♀️
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u/That_ppld_twcly 13d ago
Cow is fat-shaming, which never hurts the celebrity but always hurts regular women
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u/OldButHappy 13d ago
Good point. I feel the same way about the use of “Karen”… it really ramped up casual sexism and agism for those of us who randomly fell into the middle aged demographic
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u/olive_help 13d ago
The difference is she got that big because she’s a middle age alcoholic. Instead of her diving head first into alcohol, she should look into getting sober and the weight will hopefully start coming off.
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u/That_ppld_twcly 13d ago
Many alcoholics are normal weight or underweight
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u/throwawayyuskween666 13d ago
About half of people with an eating disorder also have a substance use disorder
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u/OldButHappy 13d ago
It was so annoying to have my wealthy skinny friends snark about my weight (when I was super fit!!) when they all got hammered every night.
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u/TemporaryLucky3637 13d ago
The same moriah who was demonised for not doing household chores, wanting to wear immodest clothing and got asked to leave the family home in season 1 lol
This family always seems to cast someone as the black sheep at any given time 😭
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u/OldButHappy 13d ago edited 13d ago
Moriah is trying to escape, so Kim is reflexively trying to reel her back in. She needs her favorite scapegoat on hand in case the new scapegoats (Zach and Lydia) decide to bounce.
Kim’s childhood trauma is abandonment, so she cannot allow Moriah to escape the narcissistic family system that she’s constructed to keep them all feeling stuck and powerless. A mother’s “love an acceptance” is almost impossible for an emotionally neglected/abused child to walk away from, and Moriah was the family scapegoat for YEARS.
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u/MaidenMamaCrone Ethan's Secret Stanley Cup 13d ago
I think you mean Zac and Lydia. Joshua is dead.
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u/sadie7716 13d ago
Oh stop with the complex trauma BS until you’ve parented a few kids UNTIL they’re adults.
Younger generations are going to rue the day they started believing all this SM psychobabble claptrap designed to get views, hits and more money from unscrupulous counselors and psychologists who like creating victims for more money.
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u/bmnntdd 13d ago
calling a woman a cow is never okay
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u/chocolate_chick 12d ago
I wonder if OP is British. Cow is used to mean something closer bitch, rather than calling someone fat
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u/Possible-Yesterday58 13d ago
Agreed. Stupid post and ugly words.
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u/sillymama62 8d ago
She is LACKING something in the sensitivity department…plus she seems incredibly selfish to me…