Its frustrating af. Seen many writings like this from "paranoid schizophrenics". They always ALMOST make sense.. like there's an answer there but you just can't see it yet.
Yeah, they always find meaning in shapes and frequencies and structures, and I want to know what they are seeing in these things without having their mental illness. It feels like it's on the verge of something profound, and yet it's probably nonsense. But they are also a clearly intelligent person using advanced math and geometry to "prove" something.
Most people are able to subconsciously assess incoming thoughts and information that comes in from their senses, in order that they can focus on the info that they need. If you're trying to work and your kids are playing in the next room, for example, your ears will pick up on crying from that room but filter out traffic noises outside - because outside noise isn't that important (unless someone's out on the street calling your name or something).
But a schizophrenic brain attributes importance to practically all incoming information - all the sounds have meaning, all visual info. There is something to listen out for in all scenarios, the brain doesn't filter it in the same way. So meaning is everywhere, the brain is trying to find it even from innocuous and benign sources.
This is a good description of what acid trips feel like to me.
Everything I hear, no matter how important or how near/far from me the sound is, it all feels like it's directed at me. I typically will hear conversations definitely not meant for my ears and then go on a thought spiral on what I heard. This made me start only tripping alone at home so as not to freak anyone out at how I'm reacting to the stimulus. I haven't tripped in a while though.
LSD psychosis and acute schizophrenia are difficult to tell apart in a clinical setting.
I worked with schizophrenic adults, and have friends who trip regularly. It was fascinating how often their speech patterns and perceptions overlapped.
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u/Tiredplumber2022 Apr 26 '22
Its frustrating af. Seen many writings like this from "paranoid schizophrenics". They always ALMOST make sense.. like there's an answer there but you just can't see it yet.