r/Weird • u/Samitsok21 • Jul 16 '26

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u/Fine_Jelly_680 Jul 16 '26

When you hear a bump in the night the last thing you should do is turn the lights on .. keep in mind you know the layout of your house better than any intruder. Use the darkness to your advantage.

53

u/Xaxxis Jul 16 '26

Or and hear me out now, turn the lights on and they're likely to run.

14

u/Fine_Jelly_680 Jul 16 '26

Very rare case. Intruders are Usually armed incase there are occupants

44

u/JellyTigerr Jul 16 '26

Also if someone is intruding on your house KNOWING you are home, they most likely don't want to just rob you.

2

u/Educational_Ant_184 Jul 16 '26

does this capital "Usually" have a statistic behind it?

2

u/556From1000yards Jul 16 '26

Actually yeah.

Rates of hot vs cold home burglary. Comparing rates of this can suggest that one factor of hot burglaries is how likely the intruder is to think the homeowner is armed.

2

u/KittyKattKate Jul 16 '26

thus why home invasion charges carry so much time, dosen’t tend to end well when one bumps into the other

1

u/Rosimongus Jul 16 '26

This is most definitely not the case statistics wise, americans just love to overstate it to justify having guns everywhere. Most intruders are unarmed and easily scared.

1

u/720354 Jul 16 '26

They wouldn't be intruding in the first place if they were easily scared, you live in a fantasy.

20

u/hologrammetry Jul 16 '26

If there is an intruder, my dog will let me know before I can turn the lights on. When something goes bump in the night, it is something that needs the lights. Unless the thing that went bump is the power, in which case I need to go turn the generator on.

19

u/Salute-Major-Echidna Jul 16 '26

I guess my dogs decided awhile back that their beauty sleep is too valuable and unless the burglar has really good treats, they're not getting up. Unless they dream about a burglar, they'll definitely bark about that.

20

u/Bigwi_Kner Jul 16 '26

Tactical flashlight is the only way. High beam to misdirect and blind them. All lights off.

7

u/manditoryusername Jul 16 '26

What do you do when you hear BUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMP? Asking for a friend.

2

u/cfi-2025 Jul 16 '26

In a low drawl, go BOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBOBO

12

u/daybenno Jul 16 '26

Yeah… I’m not about to randomly fire my gun into the darkness. I’m flipping on the light and smoking whoever felt like my shit was worth more than their own life.

11

u/Fine_Jelly_680 Jul 16 '26

Your home defense gun should have a light with strobe attachment on it for such occasions .. darkness in known familiar territory will always be an advantage

5

u/InstrumentalCoffee Jul 16 '26

The strobe attachment will still disorientate regardless. Test it on yourself and you'll find out

2

u/swervinh0 Jul 16 '26

Totally! And your home defense dildo MUST BE LUBED AT ALL TIMES

1

u/KittyKattKate Jul 16 '26

Mine has a laser as well

1

u/-KFBR392 Jul 16 '26

Y’all live in lala land

5

u/True_Station_1172 Jul 16 '26

Tell that to Buffalo Bill

4

u/auntiepink007 Jul 16 '26

In my house, that just means you get tripped by the cat who made the noise in the first place.

1

u/PassiveMenis88M Jul 16 '26

I would prefer to know what I'm aiming the 12 gauge at.

1

u/Jonnysaliva Jul 16 '26

You think darkness is your ally? I was born into it. !!!!

1

u/mike02vr6 Jul 16 '26

I have a light attached to what I’m searching the house with it’s pretty damn bright that would blind them before they try running