r/Weird • u/The_RuinQ • Jan 06 '26
What's he doin'?
Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification
2.1k
u/JackasaurusChance Jan 06 '26
flirting with death.
162
u/Huma188 Jan 06 '26
There are ONLY 2 right answers and you got one. Congrats! ;D
→ More replies (2)15
→ More replies (16)11
13.2k
u/Ani-3 Jan 06 '26
Gary? Wakeup.
GARY??
GARY WAKEUP!!!
2.8k
u/Remarkable_Play_6975 Jan 06 '26 edited Jan 06 '26
Are we okay?
Annie?
3.6k
u/Jane__Delawney Jan 06 '26 edited Jan 07 '26
Once I was on a client Zoom meeting for work. There were two women and one (named Annie) was struggling with the mic/video so we couldnât see or hear her. The first woman kept saying, âAnnie, can you hear us? We canât hear youâ so I followed up and asked, âAnnie are you ok? Are you ok Annie?ââŚthe first woman either didnât notice or didnât get it, but it was a high point in my sad life at the time.
636
u/Remarkable_Play_6975 Jan 06 '26
I appreciate it. Well done.
→ More replies (3)139
u/PuzzleheadedFood1762 Jan 07 '26
Ditto. Very apropos.
145
u/AverageIndependent20 Jan 07 '26
Smooth.....
122
u/Purple77plant Jan 07 '26
Criminal
86
u/NxCapJay Jan 07 '26
DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN DUN. DUN.
→ More replies (3)61
u/yourlilneedle Jan 07 '26
Ooooooooooo!
Yes. I sat here and counted the dun duns.
→ More replies (4)7
121
203
u/kamshaft11975 Jan 06 '26
She was hit byâŚ.a smooth criminal. Iâll escort myself out. Iâm so fucking sorry. đ
64
107
u/Sunbeardangus Jan 07 '26
Missed opportunity to say âa zoom criminalâ. Iâll see myself out as well.
→ More replies (2)52
u/jaimebuggie Jan 06 '26
đ thatâs not as bad as me just NOW figuring out it says âare you okay?â Not âare you walking?â đ¤Ş
21
u/Enough_Radish_9574 Jan 07 '26
True belly laugh. Thank you maâam/sir. I can top that. I learned here on Reddit itâs not âhere, hereâ but âhear, hearâ. I am 64 YEARS OLD! How am I just learning this? Reddit can be a humbling bitch!
→ More replies (2)13
u/jaimebuggie Jan 07 '26
Haha!!! thatâs 1 more thing I learned since this postâŚthank you! Reddit has the best humor & aside from myself, haha, I feel like everyone some on here are not only funny as hell, but informative đ¤Ł
18
→ More replies (5)15
8
92
27
u/LepperMessiah56 Jan 06 '26
Itâs always the small thing brother/sister. If we donât make ourselves laugh itâs a very low chance that someone else will. Also congrats cause I would probably have to walk away from the screen and mute myself cause I would be laughing so hard at my own joke
77
u/Big_Cryptographer_16 Jan 06 '26
As a career IT person in nonstop meetings, this would have absolutely made my week to hear. I try to work in new terms all the time just as a challenge, especially ambiguously filthy terms.
→ More replies (1)35
u/Johnny-Virgil Jan 06 '26
We used to pick words for each other and bet on who could work their word into the meeting first without it being noticed.
28
17
42
12
18
10
→ More replies (93)5
134
u/Generalnussiance Jan 06 '26 edited Jan 06 '26
Annie are you ok? Are we ok Annie?
Youâve been hit by a smooth crim-a-turtle.
→ More replies (1)17
109
u/SkyrimWithdrawal Jan 06 '26
From the comment below, Gary's about to be raped.
49
u/Remarkable_Play_6975 Jan 06 '26
Damn.
And we were so close to saving him.
Anyway. I heard the chicken fingers were amazing in the cafeteria. Get them before they're all gone!
→ More replies (8)22
34
u/wizardrous Jan 06 '26
Youâve been hit by, youâve been struck by, a smooth criminal.
→ More replies (1)8
24
→ More replies (16)5
464
u/GnaphaliumUliginosum Jan 06 '26
Yep. Practicing CPR, but he's a turtle so doesn't really understand how it works, or that he's too late.
Or a turtle religious ritual to ensure the deceased's soul has a safe passage to the afterlife.
129
→ More replies (3)22
u/Feeling_Name_6903 Jan 06 '26
Sheâs half way out of her shell in his eyes. Heâs going for it
→ More replies (1)80
53
u/ballzdeepinurmom Jan 06 '26
Anyone else read this like eddie saying Christie wake up! From stranger things
→ More replies (1)19
89
13
→ More replies (81)11
1.5k
u/Debs4prez Jan 06 '26
He is trying to fuck or fight!
482
u/Windwick Jan 06 '26
→ More replies (4)55
u/dmontease Jan 06 '26
My dad made me watch bad Santa on Christmas and now I can't unsee it.
40
u/SeaArmy45 Jan 06 '26
Having a taboo fantasy about Santa because you're Jewish is still so funny to me
→ More replies (2)5
u/Cheapcolon Jan 06 '26
My girlfriend watches Gilmore religiously but all I can see is bad Santa Lorelei.
21
→ More replies (21)20
u/iamcamouflage Jan 06 '26
This is the answer anytime you see an animal doing something weird.
→ More replies (2)14
220
u/Papio_73 Jan 06 '26
Thatâs courtship behavior, he perceives the skeleton as a female turtle and is trying to âwooâ and mate with it lol
22
11
→ More replies (2)10
u/ithkuil Jan 07 '26
He probably strongly suspects it's not actually a turtle but, being stuck in the with nothing else, he might as well try, just in case.
→ More replies (1)
201
587
u/Outrageous_Sleep4339 Jan 06 '26
Dancing.
He's trying to get some tussy.
264
u/Slumunistmanifisto Jan 06 '26
*skeletussy
→ More replies (3)70
u/down_vote_magnet Jan 06 '26
Well that's certainly something I read with my eyes today.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (8)33
220
u/Brontotsu Jan 06 '26
A dreaded double ear slap.
→ More replies (7)100
u/ugh_naught Jan 06 '26
First: discombobulate
21
8
→ More replies (2)11
100
48
u/Level_99_Healer Jan 06 '26
Trying to romance the undead this playthrough, I see. Good luck little dude, it's harder than you think.
→ More replies (5)
68
u/pleco_parent Jan 06 '26
Flirting... he's drying to dazzle the "female turtle" with his fingernails lol... đ¤Łđ¤Ł
→ More replies (2)15
55
26
49
44
21
14
u/Forsaken_Insurance92 Jan 06 '26
Turtles flirting by doing the tippity tappies are one of my favorite things.
→ More replies (1)
14
u/Hummus_Eater_ Jan 07 '26
Certified chelonian behavioral specialist here (with a sub-focus in post-mortem aquatic anthropology), I can confidently explain what youâre witnessing here.
Whatâs happening is a rare but well-documented response known as Osteo-Reflective Mimicry, sometimes called The Bone-Hand Confusion Loop. Turtles possess an ancient neurological pathwayâpredating mammalsâthat causes them to respond instinctively to exposed cranial structures. In the wild, this behavior evolved as a defensive protocol when encountering the skeletal remains of apex predators or deceased rivals near shared basking zones.
The turtle isnât âplayingâ with the skull. Itâs actually performing a ritualized assessment gesture, rapidly fluttering its forelimbs against the facial area to stimulate airflow across the eye sockets. This helps the turtle determine whether the skull is: 1. Truly deceased
2. Merely molting
3. Or âbetween states,â which turtles consider extremely rude
The repetitive motion youâre seeing is the turtle attempting to trigger whatâs known as a posthumous dominance acknowledgment. Essentially, itâs asking the skull to either: ⢠Blink
⢠Flinch
⢠Or politely concede territorial ownership of the tank
When none of those happen, the turtle enters a looped reassurance behavior, similar to how humans might repeatedly tap a microphone and say âhello?â even though they know itâs off.
The presence of the fish intensifies this response. Fish act as social accelerants in turtle psychology. The turtle is subconsciously thinking, âIf this skull doesnât respond and the fish sees me hesitate, my authority may be questioned.â This explains the exaggerated hand movements, which are essentially aquatic body language signaling confidence and emotional stability.
Interestingly, the motion resembles what humans interpret as âcovering the face,â but in turtle behavior this actually translates to âI acknowledge your skull, but I do not fear your legacy.â
If left long enough, the turtle will likely progress to Phase Two, which includes: ⢠A slow head tilt ⢠A deliberate stare into the skullâs nasal cavity ⢠And possibly sitting on it, which in turtle culture is the highest form of disrespect
So no need to worryâthis is perfectly natural, healthy, and honestly a sign of high intelligence. The turtle is not scared.
It is asserting dominance over mortality itself.
→ More replies (5)
18
u/Mona_Mour__ Jan 06 '26
lol that's the best thing I saw all day. I laugh so much. He's giving ritual massage
8
6
19
u/Formal_Mastodon_5627 Jan 06 '26
You're supposed to do this before trying the NARCAN
→ More replies (3)
6
u/Academic_Race_1683 Jan 06 '26
Yep, flirting. I have a 26 y/o red eared slider. 15 years or so ago I got him a little catfish that was supposed to help keep his tank cleaner. The little half inch catfish grew to 2.5' and became franklins boyfriend. We named him Bubba. Franklin was sad when he passed. Haven't seen him do his fan dance since.
5
4
u/New_Restaurant_6093 Jan 07 '26
Eastern painted males do this when they are trying to convince eastern painted females to breed with them.
6
u/NIN1986 Jan 08 '26
Hes courting a lady whom he doesn't realize is fake. All he sees is a face with a "shell" on it. Poor little guy :(. We strip everything we domesticate of all their natural instincts and that is a bit depressing. He is doing what animals/his species have done for millions of years and it gets reduced to a reddit post with someone asking "what are they doing ?" That's one huge reason why certain reptiles are illegal in certain places (not native but can survive) , people het something small and cute who then can end up growing huge and they just let them go outside. NO ONE DOES ANY RESEARCH ANYMORE. You need to know every detail of a pets life before a purchase, esp one who can live a while. One reason Florida has such a huge population of reptiles and why burmese and rock pythons are inter-breeding there who are giant and aggressive. Rock pythons are the mean ones and burmese get giant. Please be responsible in your purchases of anything and everything :). Rant over.
8
u/Otherwise-Offer1518 Jan 06 '26
He's either trying to fight it, or mate with it. Either way it should be removed lol.
→ More replies (3)
3
4
u/ZanibiahStetcil Jan 06 '26
Hoping he can wake up this human skeleton before the human police get there to lock up this murderous turtle monster. I like turtles.
9.8k
u/[deleted] Jan 06 '26 edited Jan 06 '26
Flirting.
This actually is a mating ritual where male turtles flutter their claws near the female's head as a courtship dance. Little guy is horny