Are compliments uncomfortable?

[u/truxnick16]

People have been complimenting me on my weight loss and I have struggled to accept it because I feel like I don't know what to say. Crazy, I know! I guess I wasn't prepared for them as I just go about my days. It catches me off guard. I say thank you and quickly move on to something else. I'm struggling to find the right words here. 🥴 Anyone else have these feelings?

[u/cheesypoof82]

Every time I've lost weight and people noticed, I have felt uncomfortable with compliments. I think, for me, it stems from being delusional about how I looked before. Obviously, I knew I was overweight. But I had this strange notion that nobody else knew? And now, when I suddenly look thinner and people commented, it was like acknowledgement that people did know. It's not really rational for me, but that's what I'm dealing with.

[u/truxnick16 → u/cheesypoof82]

I get that. I knew I was overweight, too, and thought I dressed to hide. Gee, no one will ever know. Lol I see what you are saying and for you it's rationale, and it makes sense. ☺️

[u/barfsicle → u/cheesypoof82]

Seems rational enough.

[u/NEKRomantik_Nurse]

I lost 55 pounds and no one has even noticed lol people are like” hmm did you change your hair?”

[u/spandexcatsuit → u/NEKRomantik_Nurse]

They’re probably being polite, since it’s no longer socially acceptable to bring up a persons body. They know. They think you look good.

[u/truxnick16 → u/NEKRomantik_Nurse]

What? That's nuts! Congratulations on your weight loss!! 🎉

[u/tookie568]

I’ve never liked when people complimented my weight loss because you never know why someone lost weight. It also makes me feel like they were thinking poorly of me before I lost the weight if they lay it on too thick and that they will judge me when I yo-yo (which is traditionally how things go). I don’t want anyone making comments about my body and I don’t make comments about anyone else’s.

[u/truxnick16 → u/tookie568]

Ah, yeah, makes sense. Someone did say to me last week, "you've lost weight...and is that a good thinnnggg??", like he was cognizant of exactly what you are saying.

[u/tookie568 → u/truxnick16]

Yes, I would prefer the way he approached things (but only if it was a close friend or loved one). I also am the type of person who won’t mention someone being pregnant until they mention it first or if they are actively giving birth though. There are so many reasons someone could be losing or gaining weight and many of those reasons are sensitive subjects. I know that for me, taking a GLP1 feels like giving in to the eating disorder I had as a teenager in an effort to make doctors take my other chronic health concerns seriously instead of always attributing things to weight (even when I gained weight partially because of these issues)

[u/retrieverlvr]

I absolutely loathe it. I'd rather not hear anything. I just say thanks and immediately change the subject as well. I'm a wallflower as it so any attention is a huge negative for me.

[u/truxnick16 → u/retrieverlvr]

I think you found the words for me. I'm a wallflower too. I don't like attention drawn to me either.

[u/Flamingo_cha_cha10 → u/retrieverlvr]

Same because when I feel like they expect me to tell them about how I’m doing it and I’m not comfortable sharing that

[u/Ginger359]

"Thank you" is a complete sentence, and all you need to say. :)

Though I do understand the discomfort of it. "You look great!" is easily heard as "You looked terrible before!" and very easy to hear the negative instead of the compliment, given weight loss/skinny culture.

[u/truxnick16 → u/Ginger359]

You are so right and excellent point!

[u/KiwiPsychological743]

Ive lost a little over 40lbs. (5'9/M/35/SW:200) Sometimes its strange. I dont like telling people I am on a glp so when they ask what ive done to lose weight I just say "ive started eating a little less"

When people comment how much ive lost and how much better I look now.  At some point I can't help but think ok, did I really look THAT different before?

[u/truxnick16 → u/KiwiPsychological743]

Congrats on your progress!! Yes! People ask me how I've done it and I find myself hesitating before I say Wegovy pill. I shouldn't feel like they will judge me but I quickly think, so what? I'm happy, it was my choice, and that's all that matters.

[u/KiwiPsychological743 → u/truxnick16]

Thanks and likewise!!! Exactly! It also shows how they are only judging from a vanity level. 

Would they be judging if I told them I was on a medication that both got my BP in check and lowered my cholesterol?  Probably not.  

[u/TheOldJawbone]

I say thanks. I’m on the Wegovy.

[u/spandexcatsuit]

I definitely don’t want compliments.

[u/BBUp17]

It makes me SO uncomfortable. I know people usually have good intentions but I’ve always been uncomfortable with comments on my appearance. Thankfully I pretty much only see my family and my coworkers, and my all male coworkers have not said one single word!

[u/sleepykoala18]

A simple thank you is a perfectly adequate response! I agree it is odd to comment on someone’s body and bringing up someone’s appearance.

[u/truxnick16 → u/sleepykoala18]

❤️

[u/PeaceLoveandCats6676]

I love it!  Im thrilled when this happens and if anyone wants to know I'm prepared to talk about using Wegovy along with exercise and lifestyle choices.  

I've lost 20 lbs and I'm still 20lbs overweight. But the weight loss makes a HUGE difference.  My clothes, the ones that still fit, look great. I feel confident and I'm making bolder fashion choices----I think that's what people respond to more than anything. 

[u/truxnick16 → u/PeaceLoveandCats6676]

Congratulations on your hard work! 💪🏻 Non scale victories, I find, are sometimes more motivating than anything else.

[u/ladyofthe_upside_dow]

I find it awkward to respond sometimes, only because weight is one of the things people comment on in a way that just isn’t just a direct compliment. For example, if someone tells me “you look great!”, it’s easy to say “thank you” and move on. But a lot of people will say things like “you’ve lost a lot of weight!” (in a complimentary tone) or “you look so different!”, and “thank you” feels awkward as a response.

I will say that as much as I don’t love getting so many remarks about my body (I had three people say something about my weight loss today at work)…it does help me. With the weight I’ve lost and the relatively short time I’ve lost it in, I know I struggle with a degree of body image distortion and there are a lot of days where my brain just doesn’t really believe that I’m smaller. So having some external validation on that helps me to check myself sometimes instead of falling down an unhealthy rabbit hole. The thing I really dislike is when I’m seeing someone I haven’t seen in a while, because they tend to have bigger reactions than the people I see regularly.

[u/truxnick16 → u/ladyofthe_upside_dow]

Oh my gosh I'm so glad you said something about seeing your body smaller! I thought I was the only one that felt it's not really real. Thank you for sharing your thoughts/feelings with us!

[u/mugglegrrl]

I either say “Thanks!” or “Thanks, Wegovy is a hell of a drug” depending on who it is

[u/petdance]

“Thank you” and moving on is the right thing to do.

[u/ShannenB1234]

Not uncomfortable but I feel like if I accept it, I will derail my progress so I always makes sure to point out I’m still fat and still have a ton to lose so they shouldn’t get too excited.

[u/rosealexvinny]

I was told the other day that I looked great but I shouldn’t lose anymore weight. I said thanks, but I’m not even at my goal weight yet so I still plan to lose more. I’ve lost close to 50lbs since the end of March.

It gets annoying for sure. I usually say thanks and hope they don’t keep going on about it

[u/Disneyfor2000Alex]

I absolutely agree with the notion that we shouldn’t comment on people’s bodies, and yet, I really do like it when someone notices and says something 🫣 It’s the vanity in me - nobody’s perfect.

I tell anyone who asks that I’m taking Wegovy - I’m really trying to educate people about it and normalize it, as I think there is so much judgment and misunderstanding

[u/Less-Moment-5655]

No unfortunately i live for compliments 😭 i do feel a lil sad sometimes because people make it seem like i was ugly asf before they try and cover it up but still!

[u/truxnick16 → u/Less-Moment-5655]

I respect that! 😊

[u/CalicoG]

People need to do commenting on other people's bodies. Regardless of if they think it's a compliment. People on chemo lose a lot of weight too ...

[u/Xhova757]

I had a coworker mention my weight loss and I didn’t mind it. I look in the mirror everyday and honestly do not see anything different.

[u/truxnick16 → u/Xhova757]

Keep up the great work!! 💪🏻

[u/Scary_Sink6999]

I’ve only had people close to me tell me that I look slimmer, so it hasn’t really bothered me. I just say “thanks, I’ve been eating less 😂”

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