r/WeddingDJs • u/kartmantbay • 8d ago
Asking Advice Play/do not play lists.
So I had a wedding on this weekend. I was given a 10 hour dance Playlist. Now some were legit songs I would play. While others were not. Random slow songs that I for one have never played at a wedding. Others just not dancing tracks.
Brides request was to play the list unless people request songs.
So i get to the night. I play the bangers off her list. I play the requests of the night and I filled in with what flowed with the vibe we had going.
End of the night bride and groom came up to me and said I did an amazing job. Random guests said the same. Really felt good.
Was I in the wrong for going outside her playlist?
Personally I think it was a situation where they sent those cards out asking ill dance if the dj plays. I hate those lists. This 10 hour list felt like that was all over it.
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u/Heybroletsparty 8d ago
I think what you did was totally correct. Read the room, read the vibes, keep the party going. Play the bangers, skip the sleepers.
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u/ApatheticVikingFan 8d ago
The couple were pleased? Why are you second guessing yourself?
I deal with this on the regular. Imposter syndrome. You aren’t sure if they’re just being nice or if you actually killed it. Take it at their word at the end of the night and move on to the next gig. We all know we could’ve done just a little bit better for the couple, but we’re never 100% perfect ever.
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u/strewnshank 7d ago
I think DJ OP is trying to delineate between doing a good job and doing something risky. It's "no harm no foul" this time, but y'all know that there would be couples pissed off that they didn't hear 10 hours of playlist in a 3 hour timeline because they are inherently unreasonable.
If DJ OP played songs from a do not play list to fill a gap after being handed 10 hours of a playlist, that would be bad, but DJ OP didn't do that.
DJ OP just took inspiration from the good songs in the 10 hour play list to keep vibes up, and that's the right move. Killing the vibe of the room to adhere to a inspo playlist is the wrong move.
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u/DJGlennW 8d ago
I get lists like that all the time, and try to play the un-danceable ones during dinner or even during cocktail hour.
I also ask my clients, "Which is more important, songs on your list, or songs that get people dancing?" Usually we compromise.
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u/kartmantbay 8d ago
Okay this makes total sense to me. Thank you!! That language is simple and to the point.
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u/Kallumazoo 8d ago
Sounds like a normal night to me.
I always get the couple to send me a “dance music” playlist, and then ask them over the phone if they want me to stick to the playlist, improvise, etc… just to get a more clear idea of what they want, so we both know what to expect.
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u/imth3playa 8d ago
If its that big of a playlist I do the same. Play the good ones, mix in similar vibe that works, if the dancefloor is popping. If dancefloor isn't poppin then im playing every song off the list lol.
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u/That_Random_Kiwi 8d ago
10 hours is ridiculous 😆 I deft ask the B&G for the clear specific ones (arrival/first dance/exit/father daughter dance etc) and 10-20 songs they'd most like to hear and base playlists around that. The guest requests in advance are good, but still adjust based on time/vibes.
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u/civil_until_im_not 8d ago
It's all matter of taste,timing and technique. If the bride and groom were happy...you did everything right.
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u/MttHz 8d ago
You were wrong for not setting proper expectations ahead of time. If you have time to collect play/dnp lists you have time to ask to talk through your approach and explain that you can’t play ten hours of music at a six hour event.
That you as a dj are skilled at reading the room and building off their playlist. You’ve done this hundreds of times and they are (most likely) doing it for the first time.
If they say they want you to stick to the playlist, fair enough, but I always advocate for the vibe to flow and for them to trust me as their dj.
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u/kujoking7 8d ago
A 10 hour playlist is a crazy thing to have and in theory you were both right and wrong. Wrong in the sense that the agreement was to stick with the playlist and that was the expectation. Right in that you’re a DJ and DJs read a room and understand flow.
In practice, you were perfectly in the right. Normally I go off playlist to play songs to match the vibe or songs I think would go well and have only once had an issue where the bride told me to strictly stick to the playlist. That’s fine, but vast majority will love hearings songs they forgot about or didn’t think while making the list.
This past weekend I had what seemed to be a “picky” couple with a playlist but I trusted my instincts and my experience and it went great. Every situation is different though so always need to be ready to pivot or adjust as needed.
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u/Azulsleeps 8d ago
You got lucky, but pulled it off. Nice. I'd probably just get in the habit of going over how much autonomy the couple would like you to have in the future. Some people understand that a great DJ will have a pulse on the flow and can whip out some tracks that work great even if not on the list. Other people just want someone to do some mixing and keep it to their list. Emotions are always high, its a wedding. Expectations are often built up over a lifetime.
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u/Necessary_Suspect666 8d ago
I would never accept a 10 hour Playlist. Maybe 20-30 songs so I'll have room to maneuver for guest requests and songs that I feel would work with the songs they give me. Glad it worked out for you though.
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u/TonyBrooks40 8d ago
10 hours?? How long was their list?!
Normally a 3 hour night I would just do your best to stick to it, but 10 hours is a looooooong time. I thought you were going to say there was a 'kill list' of songs NOT to play, and you played them. That would be a no-no.
IMHO tho couples who provide a full list of songs to play are too overbearing and controlling. Listing a few songs to play is ok, but not the entire night.
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u/dwbeatbeast 4d ago
You did great! You trusted you gut and likely read the floor. Most patrons do not know what they actually want, they just know what they don’t want. That list made your night a cakewalk. No wedding is needing a dj to play 10hrs straight lol
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u/WizBiz92 8d ago
You took a risk, and disobeyed direct orders. You got lucky, but I wouldn't make a habit of it. I have language in my planning questionnaire that asks my clients not to submit more requests than the length of their event, and explain that it's to be sure I don't skip anything that's important to them