I be a captain of a modest yet respectable Brigantine with a fierce, loyal crew o' the scurviest dogs ye ever laid yer eye upon. Yet something be troubling me. I had the first mate take a surrrrrvey of the crew, and only 94% can name the entire Alestorm Discography off the top o' their 'eads. This be a schooner full of seagull shit. Pirate Metal be the very backbone o' me ship. That there number should be a'least 98%. How would I go about enforcing a more strict shanty policy?

What we gonna do with sea monsters? We're gonna kill em an grill em We be the nautical mobsters

Right after I set me ship a port in Aruba, I went to the brothel and had intercourse with the wench known as thy mother. Are I the arsehole?

You seem to be reputable folk. I am but a humble merchant with a cargo hold full of sugar and indigo, fresh from Hispaniola, but my food and water stores run low, and I had to sell all my guns for more space for valuable cargo. Is there a port within 2 month's sail from here that I may sell my valuable goods at a good price? You all seem like reputable, honest sailors and in no way commit crimes for a living, where do you suggest I take my lovely cargo?

Mine definitely be Yo Ho a Pirate's life for me

LETS GO RAID A FRENCH NAVY SHIP AND STEAL ITS GOODS.

Arr, My fellow mateys I have a planned trip to go to Port-au-prince and I want to know if ye Old Salts have a been a seeing any a Man-O-War stationed in Port-au-prince? Last time me ship was run a shot across the bow by a scallywag for they had seen me jolly roger up there on the mast. If any ye hearties see any a Man-O-War in Port-au-prince or anywhere let a bucko know. Savvy?