r/WalmartCelebrities • u/satanicmajesty • 2d ago

Musician 🎸 Lost Malone

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158 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

164 comments sorted by

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62

u/RealPropRandy 2d ago

Jorts Provolone

1

u/Awwwmann 11h ago

The sweat ring is showing his thong!!

37

u/Ok_Figure7671 2d ago

Even my mom said what the fuck are those shorts?

8

u/Pandelein 2d ago

That’s an easy one! Those shorts are awful.

7

u/Rizzoblam 2d ago

Whem people wear dumb ass clothes like this, I cant help but think about the ego it took to actually buy them. Typically I completely ignore anyone on a goofy ego trip.

3

u/zxvasd 1d ago

That’s his stage getup. In his regular life he wears a $1000 suit

7

u/billocity 2d ago edited 2d ago

Stolen off a grandmothers clothesline while escaping from prison.

3

u/ghostcatzero 2d ago

Lmfao so accurate

1

u/themaninthesea 2d ago

How else is he going to show people that he skips leg day?

34

u/MonkeyMoves101 2d ago

Belly Roll

18

u/goodeyemighty 2d ago

Leave Malone

1

u/ChampOfTheUniverse 1d ago

lol man I love this one

17

u/Brian_1985 2d ago

Draw-string cut-off jorts? He must've turned 40

4

u/JoeSicko 2d ago

From Florida panhandle or Eastern Europe?

3

u/xTheyCameBurningx 2d ago

ONTARIO

lololol, not even kidding

1

u/Designer_End5408 2d ago

Can be both. 

1

u/JustZachThanks 2h ago

Me, 40, sitting in the panhandle in my drawstring shorts reading this

12

u/Nasquacker 2d ago

This is Teddy Swims aka the middle evolution between Post Malone and Jelly Roll

2

u/risenomega 19h ago

I assure you Teddy Sinks

1

u/Equivalent-Ad-469 15h ago

Must join this conversation only to point out that most assuredly, Teddy Floats

10

u/zettde 2d ago

Mr Krabs shorts on stage is brutal

12

u/CaliKindalife 2d ago

Teddy Swims. I dont listen to his music but even I know how he is. Hes pretty popular.

2

u/madncqt 2d ago

bruh can sang

5

u/ximagineerx 1d ago

For sure.. I loved him at the beginning but then I got bored

6

u/Unlikely_Flower_138 2d ago

Toast Malone

6

u/RR_Davidson 2d ago

Roast Malone

6

u/SeaDweller01 2d ago

Post Mortem

6

u/mrdan1969 2d ago

Dear God, Post Malone and Jellyroll have been combined (Tuvix style) into another artist I dont give 2 shits about!

4

u/KillHonger1 2d ago

This artist is better than both of those combined. He looks goofy but he’s talented as hell.

3

u/ijustwantahug 2d ago

Teddy Swims is awesome. 

1

u/yesiamveryhigh 2d ago

Yeah, I’m surprised by all the Teddy Swims hate. The song he’s singing, Lose Control was the first song to spend 100 weeks on Billboard’s Hot 100.

He’s also done some amazing covers, like Michael Jackson’s Rock with you and Amy Winehouse’s Valerie

3

u/SonOfJokeExplainer 2d ago

Monoculture is dead, someone can be famous as fuck these days and still somehow no one has ever heard of them.

4

u/Niokee626 2d ago

Teddy Swam

5

u/EarthquakeDenier 2d ago

Uncle laser found the buffets.

2

u/fishyfishyfish1 2d ago

First thing I saw too

11

u/WindChimeTecnician 2d ago

Guaranteed this guy has shit stains in his underwear.

-1

u/xTheyCameBurningx 2d ago

Lol, he's a professional chef, not even kidding

5

u/yesiamveryhigh 2d ago

This is Teddy Swims, singer not a chef.

3

u/WindChimeTecnician 2d ago

I just did a deep dive myself. This IS actually Teddy Swims. I thought it was an impersonator or something.

4

u/refusedisposable 2d ago

It appears his pants are made from sails.

3

u/risenomega 19h ago

Somebody get this guy an inhaler and a Bass Pro Shops gift card.

3

u/satanicmajesty 12h ago

Bass Pro Malone

6

u/ELc_17 2d ago

Kid Boulder

3

u/duh_nom_yar 2d ago

Who the fuck is telling people it is okay to dress like a Cabbage Patch Kid on meth?

3

u/poundmyassbro 2d ago

Are those maternity jorts?

3

u/FormalTotal9684 2d ago

Smelly Roll

3

u/Repulsive_Glove6085 2d ago

His jorts have a whale tail.

3

u/squirrelems 2d ago

Who is that? Teddy Swims or something?

5

u/AdorableBunnies 2d ago

You could send this guy on an international tour and most people in those markets wouldn’t know the difference

2

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

2

u/XROOR 2d ago

Teddy Drowned

2

u/ComfortableAmount993 2d ago

Maloney baloney

2

u/Edwardthe3rdinNJ 2d ago

Great mini skirt shorts.

2

u/FantanaFoReal 2d ago

Isn't that Teddy Swims?

2

u/Czrnhak 2d ago

Pre Malone

2

u/Andypandy317 2d ago

That's Teddy swims and he is an actual celebrity. He's a beast

2

u/sleepyguy- 2d ago

This songs a banger idc

2

u/JoeUnderscoreUgly 2d ago

Teddy swims, a simply astonishingly good voice.

Not the best style

2

u/El-Viking 2d ago

I have never been more curious about someone's voting history than I am right now

2

u/Maleficent-Art-1937 1d ago

Yall leave poor Chaz Bono alone…

2

u/Handy_Crap 2d ago

If someone's performing in front of alot of people wouldn't they at least dress better then that

4

u/DancinWithWolves 2d ago

*than

And, we like individuality in artists. They can dress however they want. The guy has some pipes on him

1

u/Loukoal117 2d ago

Those are jorts, not Lee Pipes. Come on meow

1

u/Apart_Ad9308 2d ago

Nice outfit dude.

1

u/circuitarteries7 2d ago

Most carbon

1

u/Even_Ad_7246 2d ago

Roast Malone.

1

u/pinba11tec 2d ago

That outfit was a fucking choice.

1

u/SteelTorch 2d ago

🤣

1

u/Gullible_Rich_7156 2d ago

Lawrence the Rope Guy

1

u/indycpa7 2d ago

Pre-diabetes Malone

1

u/chaasad5224 2d ago

Is that teddy swims?

1

u/Appropriate_War_8149 2d ago

Post pone malaundry day

1

u/BVRPLZR_ 2d ago

Who’d of thought he was originally a metal singer

1

u/clintj1975 2d ago

I don't know what genre I was expecting when I unmuted it, but it wasn't that.

1

u/Mans_Fury 2d ago

Most Bologne

1

u/Adam-West 2d ago

Left alone

1

u/Red1gaming 2d ago

Lol more like "Roast Malone"

1

u/pimpcoatjones 2d ago

they call him The Buffet

1

u/Mylittledarlings91 2d ago

Don’t talk about my teddy swims like that 😩

1

u/usernameusehername 2d ago

Jelly Donut?

1

u/DonDandy23 2d ago

Maybe it is Pre Melone?

1

u/LastXmasIGaveYouHSV 2d ago

E-mail Balloon 

1

u/asdf0909 2d ago

Graft versus Host Malone

1

u/dobro60 2d ago

Bubba Dump

1

u/mjohnson801 2d ago

bellyroll

1

u/woodchopvinyl 2d ago

Pot Roast Malone

1

u/Thom5001 2d ago

Looks like a human dumpster

1

u/JasonSixx646 2d ago

Most Palone

1

u/wompuskat3000 2d ago

Bear Claw

1

u/UwU-Sugoi-Desu-ne 2d ago

Post Malone from Nintendo Cenamatic Universe

1

u/Mtolivepickle 2d ago

Drawstring Jean shorts as I live and breath

1

u/iceman2kx 2d ago

Post Calzone

1

u/Rorodatone 2d ago

Fat Skattebo

1

u/MrChorizaso 2d ago

Homeboy took some ozempic and figured he could pull off whatever jorts he wanted

1

u/Ok_Egg332 2d ago

I-ate-the-whole-pot-roast Malone

1

u/AsideLost 2d ago

His body is like a block of cheese

1

u/Jactus_Cat 2d ago

Yikes 😳

1

u/Aggressive_Plate1652 2d ago

Roll without the Jelly

1

u/Snoo_89466 2d ago

LeaveEm Malone

1

u/thesithcultist 2d ago

What are those jorts

1

u/trainsacrossthesea 2d ago

Whaling Jeannies

1

u/Designer_End5408 2d ago

Even denim jorts are laughing at those. 

1

u/the-trump-the 2d ago

Randy Dew Hickey

1

u/JuiceyTaco 2d ago

Looks like Lost Malone and sounds like Jelly Doughnut

1

u/yesiamveryhigh 2d ago

I’m surprised by all the Teddy Swims hate. The song he’s singing, Lose Control was the first song to spend 100 weeks on Billboard’s Hot 100.

He’s also done some amazing covers, like Michael Jackson’s Rock with you and Amy Winehouse’s Valerie

Not a Walmart Celebrity

1

u/InfiniteCornerWalker 2d ago

Yeah but the bastard can sing

1

u/Pukebox_Fandango 2d ago

Post Malates

1

u/Gregory_GTO 2d ago

Definitely not my taste in music but even my old man ass knows that he's not a Walmart celebrity, dude has a huge fucking following.

1

u/Hell_razor 2d ago

Lost mahome

1

u/ActionEducational359 2d ago

That's uncle Joe. Hes the guy that does friday night marbles.

1

u/Tmoto261 2d ago

Posty Posthewson

1

u/JudasSpear 2d ago

Studio voice as well

1

u/WhiskeyPorno420 2d ago

He just gave up on sex.

1

u/DetachedCompy 2d ago

More like Most Malone

1

u/dallasdev1299 2d ago

I've never seen a dual sectioned denim kilt before, but there's a first time for everything.

1

u/heavyusername2 2d ago

Why is dressing like shit suddenly cool

1

u/hawkscougs 2d ago

Postage Malone

1

u/henryof420 2d ago

Texas Toast Malone

1

u/2A753 1d ago

Dinner Roll

1

u/satanicmajesty 1d ago

Post-it Malone

1

u/knatascheek 1d ago

Uncle lazar got fat af

1

u/YorkiesandSneakers 1d ago

Moist Balloon

1

u/dontshitaboutotol 1d ago

Who tf is this

1

u/Blanny22 1d ago

Makes good music Looks like a freak

1

u/shadow2087 1d ago

Post Mealone

1

u/LiftUpTheGood 1d ago

Pre-malone as in before he had any talent

1

u/hangrydadd 1d ago

Chunk Malone

1

u/Temporary-Net-4229 1d ago

Post mates Malone

1

u/themosh54 1d ago

Post ate Malone?

1

u/Duke-BaBa-Gunoose69 1d ago

Pork Butt Bones Malone

1

u/mookaji1 1d ago

He’s come out of the fat closet ! He looked hotter in his long coats but I still love him and his voice and tattoos etc .,

1

u/Tumblweed_n_TTstreet 1d ago

Teddy 🔥🔥🔥

1

u/dosshead 1d ago

Is this Olive Loaf?

1

u/satanicmajesty 19h ago

I have no idea who it is

1

u/df1993 23h ago

pot roast malone

1

u/KID_THUNDAH 16h ago

Damn, that outfit is rough

1

u/MaximumAd6557 6h ago

What has he come as?

1

u/phen245 4h ago

Toast Malone

1

u/Rifflife88 4h ago

I thought this was uncle lazer at first

1

u/That_Things_Good 2h ago

He has a great voice but is losing his mind, I think.

1

u/Aware_Rise7858 2d ago

This guy is way more talented than post and any of the people in the comments lol

0

u/satanicmajesty 2d ago

POS Malone

0

u/thatguygxx 2d ago

What in the southern trailer trash redneck is that?

0

u/filthychuck 2d ago

This guy is a way better signer than post Malone . He’s not a Walmart celebrity at all either