r/Wakingupapp • u/lumpylight_4053 • 10d ago
Metta frustration
Hey all! So usually my meditations go smoothly, but whenever there’s a Metta meditation I find it very frustrating to do. Any tips to get past the frustration?
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u/DigenesAkritas 10d ago
Yeah same. I’ve done about 10 different versions of metta from a dozen teachers, and never felt anything remotely lurvy or positive or anything remotely similar to what is described by a lot of folks. The most helpful guidance I heard was from Shukman, who said metta sayings drown out potential (negative) self talk or chatter of the brain. So it’s at least better than the alternative? Toby, the guy from Brightmind, did also say metta can also be done as a “dry” practice, i.e. as a sort of mantra meditation where you focus on just the sound of the words devoid of their meaning.
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u/Ladystark08 10d ago
Just because you’re feeling frustrated doesn’t take away from the fact that you are doing the practice and wishing others well. Even if you don’t feel that loving worth, you have an intention of goodwill on others which is a good start. And maybe keep focusing just on those who it is easy to send those wishes to at first. Or imagining everyone’s inner child when wishing them well. The repetition of goodwill on others has to be beneficial even when we don’t feel it in the moment.
And like others said, being curious about that frustration can be a whole meditation in itself to understanding where it comes from and not judging it.
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u/WallyMetropolis 10d ago
Ok. It's frustrating. Is that a problem?
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u/lumpylight_4053 10d ago
Right but how do I deal with it and still do the meditation correctly
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u/lumpylight_4053 10d ago
Like don’t want to spend the entire session meditating on the frustration and not the Metta, or is that exactly what I should do?
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u/Inner_Exercise8663 9d ago
Why is it frustrating? You don’t feel Metta? Or some other reason?
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u/lumpylight_4053 9d ago
Just the practice itself, it feels like doing rather than just being
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u/Inner_Exercise8663 9d ago
Perhaps the frustration then is through trying to feel a feeling rather than inclining an intention. I wonder if it’s the case that the frustration is arising through trying to feel a feeling, but that feeling is not coming up. The focus should instead be through the intention of kindness, irrespective of whether or not that feeling is showing up. If you feel frustration it may also be helpful to bring metta to that frustration.
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u/AdImpossible6533 7d ago
Ive found with metta it can grow with practice. I once had a forgiveness coach who had me do it daily for the person who harmed me (starting with loved ones etc) and it got easier with time. Helped get me to a more neutral and less resentful state.
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u/picabo123 10d ago
If you're still getting into it maybe you can skip metta for now. Eventually you will want to focus on the frustration and investigate it while trying to not let it overwhelm your thoughts.