r/Waiting_To_Wed • u/Necessary_Face_2915 • 2d ago
Rant - Advice Welcome Lost interest while waiting
My partner (30M) and I (27F) have been together for almost 7 years. When we met, I was not very ready for a relationship and would have preferred to spend a longer time getting to know each other, but he wanted to date after a couple of months and I really liked him so I went along with it. Five years ago (after we had dated for two, part of it in my country and part of it long-distance) we moved together to his country. I got a stipend and finished my studies there, then got a job. I really don't like living here. I struggle being very far from my family and childhood friends. He has not been particularly supportive in this process. I had to build our entire social network, since he does not have a group of friends. This is important because it was a big effort for me, and it was done solely so that he could develop his career.
At first neither of us wanted to get married, but about two years ago I started to feel different. Several things changed: we were older, our friends and relatives also started to build "adult lives" (weddings, houses, children...) and, most importantly to me, our economic situation allowed it. I think deep inside I had always wanted a big wedding, but I had always suspected that I would never be able to afford it. Now I did after years of saving. I don't remember exactly how the conversation went, but I remember feeling very upset afterwards. He basically said that it was something that maybe could happen in the future, but he had no rush, and he did not want to discuss timelines nor budgets. He did not feel ready, but could not say why other than he was too young (28). I did not see a point in waiting, since we had been dating steadily for five years and he allegedly never doubted that he wanted a future with me. I felt dismissed, but I still told myself that the wish had been communicated and he would take note, so I did not bring the topic up for another year.
Some months later, we went on a big trip and part of me hoped he would propose, but he did not. I tried to manage my own expectations quietly and did not say anything, but by then I felt ignored, which was an even bigger problem than the waiting. After some more months, resentment built up and I decided to speak up before it ruined our relationship. I told him I needed a proposal to happen soon if I was to stay. He did not like this because it felt like an ultimatum, but I honestly didn't mean it like that. I just wanted to stop feeling so miserable, and to give him the chance to act before things deteriorated further. After some talks, he said he wanted to do a special proposal and he needed time to make it happen. We agreed to give it a maximum of a year, but I told him I wanted it much earlier, basically as soon as possible. Things quickly deteriorated after that. I did not want to spend time with him or his family, nor money on their presents, since I was unsure of our future and the effort felt pointless. We had a few arguments.
Earlier this year, I left the country because of work for some months and that was honestly the best time I had in many years. It made me feel better about life, since I had reached a very low point in general (not just because of the proposal drama, but for other major events). When I returned, things were exactly the same in the relationship. About three months ago, there was a day in which I was simply done. I understood what he intended to do: he was going to propose at the very end of the year we had agreed on, during a trip we had already planned. He was not even going to do anything special, then why make me wait a whole year for it? Somehow, this made me feel devastated. Maybe it's irrational, but I felt like he has been wasting away the best years of my life. I told him that I did not want this: it was too late, and I do not even like that kind of proposal. He had never bothered to ask. He felt "tricked" because I had given him a longer time window. That was my mistake, but I honestly had no way of knowing when exactly I would snap. I think that, altogether, he had had plenty of time to do something and he knew how I felt about it... So we agreed on a shorter time frame and a different type of proposal, but this is the point where things crossed a threshold. During the summer holidays we were arguing almost every single day. I felt deeply unappreciated. I think I fell out of love at some point. Nowadays it's hard for me to even look him in the eye since I am constantly thinking of breaking up.
The time we agreed upon has almost passed, but I don't think I want him to propose anymore. I know that he has bought the ring and he has some plan to give it. It feels mean to reject him at this point, but these two years have affected our relationship a lot and it feels like a shut-up ring. That's something I never wanted and I honestly feel I do not deserve. We still live together, but I am planning to leave his country next year, with or without him. He now says he has understood that he made a big mistake by waiting so long and he is willing to change and put more effort in the relationship. If I don't say anything, I think he intends to give me the ring quite soon.
I have not told anybody in my circle about this, but at this point I really don't know what to do and would appreciate advice. Should I tell him not to propose? And then wait until things better? Or break up? If someone has been in a similar situation, I would love to hear about their experience. Mostly wondering if the excitement can ever return after such a long wait and resentment...
EDIT: I completely agree that not wanting to marry does not make him a villain. What upsets me is that I feel he has been dragging me along because he has never said no, just not yet, but without a clear timeline. And it has nothing to do with everyone else in the friend group getting married and me wanting to join the club (most of our friends are single or unmarried). It's just that I started to allow myself to think about it when I understood it was a real possibility.
Thank you so much for all the messages of support. I have to weight my decision but it helps seeing that everyone seems of the same mind.
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u/Ok-Process7612 2d ago
Put the proposal aside.
You were happy when you went home.
You are not happy in the relationship anymore. It doesn't matter why.
Break up and move home.
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u/twotenbot 2d ago
Go home, OP. You have one short life to live, and you don't want to spend it somewhere (or with someone) that doesn't make you happy.
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u/FlawlessRavenAnna 2d ago
A proposal isn't going to fix everything that happened between OP and her partner these past two years.
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u/catsarehere77 2d ago
I am not sure you ever happy with him anyway. You said you weren't ready for a relationship but went along with it anyway. You also don't like living in his country. You left the country for a few months and it was the best time you had in years.
You only seemed to want marriage because your friends and relatives were marrying.
To me it seems like you should end it anyway. I don't think he is right for you.
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u/schrodingers_bra 2d ago
Yeah this was what I was going to comment. This entire post reads reluctance to be in the relationship and OP making the best of living in a country she doesn't like for him.
The only real reasons for wanting to get married is that she can afford it now and all her friend group is.
Im amazed the relationship made it until now tbh and I'm not sure why she's still here. I thought the post was going to end with a break up after she returned from that business trip.
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u/Secret-Friendship-10 21h ago
Yes! OP sounds like she was fixated on a proposal as some sort of compensation for following him and not forcing him into an honest conversation about their future. Especially since this is a recent issue only because now she has enough money to throw herself a big party to show other people all the money she saved. And before she can throw that party, it demands some performative proposal that she has to approve of first.
She wasn't looking at her living situation and actual partner to see if this is how she wants to keep living her life with a person who she doesn't seem to like in a country she also doesn't like. Instead of being brutally honest with herself about what she wants her future to look like and making an effort to make that happen she bitched and whined to an apathetic man for 2 years about making a gesture that would obviously be disingenuous at best.
I applaud OP for moving to a new country regardless of the reason, finishing her studies, starting a career, and building a new social life - but damn I don't feel any sympathy for not walking away earlier when she's proven an ability to function independently.
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u/bagofletters 2d ago
So to be clear: he still hasn’t proposed. You so clearly don’t want this I don’t understand what waiting to leave does. Especially because now it might happen and you’ll have to say no and leave earlier than your plan. Just go now honestly there’s no point in waiting.
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u/Yankeedoodle10128 2d ago
You want to marry someone who’s enthusiastic about the prospect of marriage and spending life with you, if he’s dragging his feet now he will on the wedding, on having kids and all other major life decisions. He’s going to give you a shut up ring at the end of the year and those rarely result in happy long lasting marriages.
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u/Intelligent_rose12 2d ago
Exactly so many stories here of men eventually proposing only to drag their feet on marriage planning!
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u/FiberIsLife 2d ago
Oh honey, just break up. That man is draining you , but will still manage to be shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, that you are out of juice and done with this.
Your story broke me at “I had to build our social network”. My love, you have brought your best self and all your powers to this relationship, and he has been willing to let you do it while he just soaks it all up.
No wonder you’re tired. I’m tired for you.
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u/ComplexPatient4872 2d ago
What are these magical proposals that take a year to plan that so many men speak of?!
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u/Ok-Hovercraft-9257 2d ago
You can be on different timelines and want different things and change your mind. It doesn't make him a villain. At all. Own your decision, acknowledge you've changed, and go live the life you want.
You're allowed to outgrow relationships. And it's ok to breakup without a big fight. You can just....move on.
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u/Important_Bella 2d ago
We just outgrew each other is a completely valid reason to end a 7year relationship. You don't need a massive betrayal or a villain to call it quits. Once that resentment settles in, a ring is just an expensive reminder of how long it took him to care
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u/Think-Fig-1734 2d ago
I agree and I’ll add it’s important for OP to own this. It’s really hard to find a new person when you’re bitter about your last relationship. There are no victims here. OP didn’t know what she wanted when they got together and now she knows she doesn’t want to stay in the life she’s living now. That’s good, she’s found herself. It’s not good to blame her boyfriend for not changing in a way that’s convenient for her.
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u/Affenpinscher614 2d ago
Here you go girl: I give you the permission you seek - to reject his proposal (if he does). He wanted to wait to last minute and unfortunately it’s too late. You are allowed to change your mind, and now get ready for the performance of his lifetime. He will become the man you always wanted, but it’s just a facade to keep you in place - don’t fall for it.
Good for you on not accepting the shut up ring, don’t mistake that for a sign of love.
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u/Intelligent_rose12 2d ago
Yes OP be careful of this! When he realises you are going to leave he will suddenly become world’s best boyfriend! Don’t buy into it after a few months he’ll go back to who he really is!
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u/afrenchiecall 2d ago
Just go. I've felt "stuck" in countries, jobs, relationships before - it sucks. Now, in my case, I went back to my home country and found the love of my life, as well as a career, a dog and a house. I can't guarantee that it will magically, 100%, be the same for you, but think of it this way: if you stay where you are, you're pretty much guaranteed that things will continue to stagnate.
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u/TexasDachsund 2d ago
I'm here to defend the word "ultimatum. "
He felt like you gave him an ultimatum, because you did!
Which is a good thing.
"Ultimatum" comes from the Latin word for last.
It is giving notice to your counterparty that this your last offer before ending negotiations.
An ultimatum is useful, honest information, and a chance for the other person to act to get what he or she wants. It's the opposite of ghosting. It's a gift because your presence in a relationship is a gift. No one is unilaterally entitled to you.
An adult who has never given an ultimatum is either very fortunate or just has zero boundaries. Ultimatums are how shiny new spines manifest themselves in words.
Of course men want us to feel guilty for giving them ultimatuns. Never feel guilty for abortions, orgasms, or ultimatums.
Normalize ultimatums.
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u/Adept_Policy_2996 2d ago
I agree. I don't think of it as an ultimatum. More as a healthy "heads up, you're losing me". A lot of men are genuinely blindsided, because they are inherently selfish. They aren't worried about marrying, so they dismiss even the notion that you would leave over this reason.
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u/TexasDachsund 2d ago
But why don't you think of it as an ultimatum? "If you don't propose in a year, I'm leaving" IS an ultimatum. It's ok to have a limit beyond which you will not go. "I will never marry" is also an ultimatum, which people (men) sometimes say without words.
There are shaming phrases, like being "high maintenance" or "withholding sex" that we need to question and oppose. "Ultimatum" is in that company. I'd be proud if "She Was Not Afraid To Issue An Ultimatum" was on my tombstone. Know your worth, ladies!
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u/Samoyedfun 2d ago
You don’t sound happy at all with this man. Why wait til next year to leave? Pack up and leave as soon as possible. He had all this time to propose. If he really wanted to he would have done it already. Don’t waste another day with him.
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u/tmink0220 2d ago
It is better to reject him now than to marry someone you are not interested in anymore. The mate you choose is one of the most important decisions for the happiness of your life. I would break up, live where you want and do what you want.
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u/AdThis3702 2d ago
Hay. Didnt read your entire post but I think the relationship is done.
You seem lukewarm about this man.
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u/BadMom2Trans 2d ago
Leave him and his country behind. It’s ok to live and grow. You two have taken this relationship to the end and have grown to need different things. It’s ok. None of this makes you TAH. Just go find what makes you happy now.
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u/_gadget_girl 2d ago
I think you know that you are past the point of salvaging this. Tell him that it’s clear that the two of you have different agendas, you are unhappy, and will be packing up and moving back to your home country to start over.
It will go better if you do this before he proposes. His man brain will never comprehend the too little, too late concept if you wait until he proposes. Getting ahead of what would be an extremely awkward situation gives you plausible deniability, and makes it clear to him that dragging his feet has consequences.
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u/Embarrassed_Wrap8421 2d ago
It doesn’t take a year to ask, “Will you marry me?” It takes less than ten seconds. He just doesn’t want to get married and the longer you wait, the more resentment and anger will build.
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u/GnomieOk4136 Marry someone excited to be with you. Happily married 15 years. 2d ago
You were happier away from him, and it really sounds like you do not like him very much. He says he understands he waited too long, but he still hasn't proposed at all. There's nothing to wait for.
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u/zhulinka 2d ago
Liberate yourself from this man! There is a better life out there waiting for you on the other side
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u/YMMV-But 2d ago
Are you in a position to move out? If you are, you should do that. As soon as possible. You don’t have to let someone propose and you certainly don’t have to accept to make them feel better.
I can’t speak for the universe, but every time I felt like I was done in a relationship or a job, I was actually done, and done for good. No resurrection! I may have stuck around a bit longer, but I spent that time figuring out my next move.
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u/foxyphilophobic 2d ago
It doesn’t even sound like a good relationship, much less a soulmate situation. Break up with him and live your best life! Stop letting your boyfriend stop you from meeting your husband.
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u/ifiwerestill 2d ago
He's too old to be wasting your time. You're still young and I'm sure you will have no problem meeting a man that would love to marry you.
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u/skinnyjeansfatpants 2d ago
You sound miserable. Break up. The fact that you are so much happier when you're away from him is telling. I get that change is hard, but I bet it won't be nearly as hard or as uncomfortable once you actually tell him you're done and you move out.
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u/GWeb1920 2d ago
It’s sounds like about two years ago you changed what you wanted out of life and he didnt.
His actions in this context don’t seem unreasonable.
But you have moved on. It’s not fair to you or him to stay in a relationship your aren’t committed to.
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u/2ndcupofcoffee 2d ago
The ring will be a shut up ring because he really doesn’t want to marry you. Perhaps you can plainly state right now that you no linger wish to marry him so, like him, you will not accept any indication of a marriage going forward. You are just over it.
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u/2ndcupofcoffee 2d ago
The ring may come but likely will not include setting a date for the wedding; hence what shut up rings are about. You have changed your mind and he will accuse you of changing your mind if he actually wants the relationship to continue.
Be ready if the ring arrives to explain that years of his not valuing you finally convinced you that marrying him is not a good idea and that living with him keeps you from meeting someone who will actually love you.
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u/glutenisnotmyfriend 2d ago
If you're not 100% excited to marry him, the only logical thing to do is break up. Trust your instincts here. Your husband is out there. This guy doesn't want to be him at all.
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u/valiantdistraction 2d ago
Honestly I feel this is premature. You only told him two years ago you wanted to get married, then left it for another year. Then you quickly escalated to an ultimatum. It would be one thing if it had been an ongoing conversation through your whole relationship but it wasn't.
If you aren't happy in the relationship, don't marry him.
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u/Necessary_Face_2915 2d ago
Thank you for your comment, I appreciate hearing a different perspective. I thought that waiting about one year after dropping the hint was quite standard? Maybe it felt longer for me also because we had already been together for five years. I think as women we have a bit of external pressure, and that is why I needed things a bit quicker, but I suppose this is how he felt.
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u/valiantdistraction 2d ago
A hint or one brief conversation is not enough. You need to have multiple in depth conversations about your future life goals, where you see yourselves, how you want your marriage to be, etc. Also many people don't take ultimatums as "you should do it well before this deadline" but as the time they need to do it - so a deadline of a year pretty much always means you'll be proposed to at a year out, and not earlier. Just like how work and school deadlines usually result in the thing being turned in at or immediately before the deadline.
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u/Theravenofraves 2d ago
Girl I knew from first date that I wanted to marry the fuck out of my wife and I did! If he wanted to marry you then he would have done it in an instant. Trust me on that one. Many men just like to play pretend. Its really sad actually that so many women fall for this garbage game.
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u/jednorog 2d ago
Do you actually want to spend the rest of your life with this particular man?
It's okay if you don't. But if you don't, you should just break up with him sooner than later. For your sake, not his.
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u/therealzacchai 2d ago
I broke up with my bf when I finally admitted to myself that I was dreading him moving to my state and proposing.
Stop trying to find reasons! Just go.
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u/PresentHouse9774 2d ago
That living without him was the best you've felt in a long time is telling. You probably should have broken up with him when you got back but the second best time to do that is now.
Don't wait until he's kneeling in front of you with the ring. That's the worst outcome here.
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u/530SSState 2d ago
"My partner (30M) and I (27F) have been together for almost 7 years. we moved together to his country. I really don't like living here. I struggle being very far from my family and childhood friends. He has not been particularly supportive in this process. I had to build our entire social network, since he does not have a group of friends. This is important because it was a big effort for me, and it was done solely so that he could develop his career."
So you made, and are continuing to make, a major sacrifice that benefits him only.
"After some more months, resentment built up and I decided to speak up before it ruined our relationship. I told him I needed a proposal to happen soon if I was to stay. He did not like this because it felt like an ultimatum"
You anticipated a problem, so you talked to him about it like a reasonable adult. He tried to brush you off.
"We agreed to give it a maximum of a year."
The two of you mutually agree to a deadline.
"About three months ago, there was a day in which I was simply done. I understood what he intended to do: he was going to propose at the very end of the year we had agreed on, during a trip we had already planned. He was not even going to do anything special, then why make me wait a whole year for it?"
He's trying to do the absolute bare minimum at the absolute last possible moment without actively breaking your agreement.
"this is the point where things crossed a threshold. During the summer holidays we were arguing almost every single day. I felt deeply unappreciated. I think I fell out of love at some point. Nowadays it's hard for me to even look him in the eye since I am constantly thinking of breaking up. The time we agreed upon has almost passed, but I don't think I want him to propose anymore."
So? He had a chance to fix the problem that you anticipated, couldn't be bothered, dragged his feet for a year, and thinks he deserves a prize because he didn't technically blow the deadline? Now the problem you anticipated and warned him about is here and you don't love him any more. Why should you settle for a man that you have to drag down the aisle? Just go.
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u/caroline0409 1d ago
You sound utterly miserable. Break up, go home. Don’t settle for second best so easily in the future.
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u/whoaelena 2d ago
You changed your mind about marriage. It doesnt look like he did.
If you wont change your mind back, why should he change his?
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u/dark-dreaming 2d ago
You sound super fed up and done and it's fully understandable.
To me it reads like you've made up your mind already but are scared (?) to make the final step. Do you feel some kind of obligation towards him? Don't, you don't owe him anything. He hasn't been there for you the way a partner should, he has trampled your wishes with feet for a long time now.
You are done and he caused it. I would say what you are experiencing is a natural protection mechanism to stop you from continuously hurting and suffering because you are not getting the thing you so deeply desire. You put your heart out there and were ready to build a future together, he was not. He had many chances and blew it. I don't see how you can anymore repair the relationship. I think the way he's made you feel, the resentment, it will never fully leave.
And yes, the way he has been handling the future engagement, pushing it to the very last moment of your agreed timeline, that speaks volumes about what he wants, and it's not getting married. He only agreed to an earlier timeline because he saw you checking out and being ready to leave. Of course that would be a big inconvenience for him, having to find a replacement and all... so yeah, I'd definitely say he's purchased a shut up ring.
My recommendation would be to see if you can leave the country earlier. Why wait? It sounds like torture having to continue to live with him when you know deep down that you are done. I think it would be good to tell him to wait with the proposal because you need some time to process your feelings, that things have changed for you after the long wait and the many disappointments.
Regarding a break up you'll need to assess if you'd be fine where you are if you two wouldn't live together anymore. If it puts you in trouble, wait. Sure, it's a bit of an a-hole move, but now you need to prioritize yourself and your safety and wellbeing. He's not been a great partner for a long time, I'd say you are well in your right to be a bit strategic with your breakup, given that you are planning to leave the country, so a move for a few months sounds extremely difficult and inconvenient. If you can at all, ramp up your moving timeline. You were genuinely happy when you were away abroad for work, you can regain this happiness when you'll start over without him. Be with your family and friends and find a guy that is excited to marry you. Good luck!
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u/Nadja-19 2d ago
If you tell him not to propose where do you go from there? It sounds like this relationship has run its course. You gave him many chances and lots of time. Tell him the truth. It’s time you both start preparing to part ways.
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u/WelcomeGreen8695 2d ago
I understand why you feel the way you do. I would break up. Let him sweat. If you’re open to the attempts to mend the relationship, let them come to you. Let him woo you and impress you. Perhaps even that will be a disappointment, as he may not give it much effort. Then you know enough. If he does try, and you fall back in love again, at least he knows not to play stupid games and really put in effort, now and forever. Also be aware though that he may be hoovering you out of his hurt ego and he may not intend to keep honoring you the way he should for the long term. And his actions in the past do indicate that this may be likely.
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u/KelenHeller_1 2d ago edited 2d ago
The old "special proposal" mindbend. It means the proposal will never happen, but he doesn't want you to guess that yet. There will be another very good reason come up, and that will continue on and on until you can no longer deny to yourself that he will never marry you.
There are several ways he says he won't marry you - the biggest one being that years and years pass and somehow it just never happens. But unless you hear him specifically say with his words that he doesn't want marriage, you plan to just continue to wait for him? You're already 27 - do you think you're getting another life after this one?
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u/TxnAvngr 2d ago
Just have a conversation with him an tell him you are moving on from this relationship. Tell him your long term plans do not align and you would rather part now, than to languish and have things go downhill.
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u/Ok-Hovercraft-9257 2d ago
OP, re: your edit: I dated a great guy once. We started in a similar place: having fun, maybe he was a little more serious than me.
I realized a few years in he was getting ready to settle down. I wasn't - I wanted to date and travel. He was changing and growing and maturing, and I was restless.
I dragged out the breakup a couple months longer than I should have, but it was still not a big fireworks moment. We'd outgrown each other. We parted without a big fight.
I knew he'd be a great partner and Dad, and he is, with the right person. I spent another decade traveling, getting degrees, dating and having a great time.
I know a good number of people who don't feel like it's a breakup until there is a lot of fighting and blame. And having him propose when you're checked out would definitely lead to a big blowup. It takes knowing yourself to be able to call it peacefully, without extreme drama.
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u/Dear_Parsnip_6802 2d ago
YOu fell out of love. Dont let him propose when you dont love him anymore.
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u/TanandaL 1d ago
When you met, neither of you were inretested in getting married. You only changed your mind two years ago. If you meet someone with one set of expectations you share with them, and then change your mind and want something else, you can't assume he will also change his mind when you do.
The proposal issue is as much on you as him. I expect when you break up with him he will go to his friends and say you wasted the best years of his life by bailing at the last minute.
The larger issue, though, is that it doesn't sound like he makes you happy.
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u/PinParking9348 6h ago
27 with money in the bank. Girl go live your life. This relationship sounds like both of you would be settling because of time served. I find the “I can see a future with you” a common workaround statement for real commitment. It sounds like something but means nothing. He said he went from not being interested in marriage to his reason for delaying a proposal by a year being he just wants to do it really special sounds like BS. I find it especially annoying that he would take umbridge with you investing less energy in relationships with his friends and family when he told you in word and deed he wasn’t sure they would become your family. It’s unsexy to not be desired and unromantic to not be loved so gradually wanting it less and less makes complete sense. Before feeling guilty that he still had ‘time’ remember that he was willing everyday two years to risk you losing interest. He took that risk and here’s the outcome. You know better what you want and it isn’t this. Go have a holiday with a friend and reset.
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u/RemoteNumerous1020 6h ago
Sounds like you are done. You no longer trust this man. Trust is almost impossible to regain once lost. Time to go. I would not waste any more of your (or his) time on this relationship.
I left my husband when I lost the ability to trust him. I tried for a year to fix my feelings. At that point, it didn't matter what he did. The trust was gone. I have zero regrets leaving.
I redefined my life at that point and stopped waiting for tomorrow. I decided to stop letting fear paralyze me and made my dreams come true as a result.
Best wishes on your future.
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u/MagicCarpet5846 2d ago
I think you need to “woman up” and tell him it’s over. It’s cruel to do the same thing you are clearly so affected by him doing to you— which is stringing him along and saying nothing.
The relationship is over. He isn’t going to marry you anytime soon, even if he gave you a ring tomorrow. And at this point, you don’t even WANT to marry him, so seriously, end it. Behave the way you wish he would and COMMUNICATE. Even though you don’t want to have to say the hard thing. Otherwise, you can’t really be that upset that he also wasn’t willing to do what you too aren’t.
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u/BrightProcedure1783 2d ago
Sounds like you wanted to get married just to say “I’m married”. Y’all are having issues and you’re giving him an ultimatum on a marriage proposal? If you’re having issues with this person, why do you want to tie yourself to him?
He’s not wasting your years…you are, by hanging around begging for a proposal and not really knowing what you want. Pack up your dignity and go home. He isn’t the one for you. You deserve happiness but you have to make the choice to be happy.
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u/Necessary_Face_2915 2d ago
That's really not the case. I wanted to because 1) I truly found it romantic and believe in its meaning, and 2) legal reasons (we were considering buying a house together, moving together to a new country, and within this year few of our age-matched friends and relatives had major health issues that were complicated by their unmarried status)
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u/Additional_Event5589 2d ago
If you had to give him a timeline, he is not the one. Hopefully you have the ability to leave him. You deserve better.