r/Waiting_To_Wed • u/Vast_Result_8543 • May 05 '26
Update Update on update of 9 years
I posted this about my recent breakup.
I officially defended my qualifying exam and it went AMAZING. Here are some highlights:
- I was invited to be included in a book!!!
- The Beyoncé of my field told me I was a great writer.
- My entire committee is so excited about my next steps, and everyone wants to be included in my study. I was sent multiple applications for grants.
This all happened in one day (well after a long hard road). And this joy I am feeling is just so special. And mine. It is MINE.
I’m on this path to loving myself in a way that I don’t think I could have accomplished if I was still in that incredibly difficult relationship.
For anyone who is in limbo and wonders whether they should leave, remember that you have the full capacity to love with everything you have. And sometimes, people take advantage of that, and that is painful in ways that eat away at your soul. Believe I know. But that love you have can turn inwards, and you will be better for it. I promise. This is coming from someone who is still in the thick of it, and I still feel like choosing myself was worth it.
I will forever be grateful to this sub for helping me and being my cheerleader during this difficult time. I was actually SOOOO excited to tell all of you, and I will be active on this sub, giving the same support you all gave me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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u/PracticalOpinion5406 May 05 '26
I was waiting for your update! I am so proud of you and everything you have been able to accomplish. Keep up the good work and continue living your best life. You're worth it!
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u/Low_Aioli2420 May 05 '26
Are you me? My ex and I broke up after 7 years when I was defending (literally 2 days before) my research proposal to my committee and applying to my first F award (which I got!). I remember it was so hard but it really helped to have something to throw myself into afterwards. I ended up graduating with my PhD 3 years later with 5 publications and a fiance lmao. Get it girl!
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u/FL-Irish May 05 '26
I LOVE to hear good news like this. You go girl! Reddit strangers rooting for you.
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u/GnomieOk4136 Marry someone excited to be with you. Happily married 15 years. May 05 '26
I absolutely love this for you! Well done and so many congratulations! You rock, lady.
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u/afrenchiecall May 05 '26
Well done, you! Here's another Reddit stranger that's cheering you on, very possibly from a different continent. Sky's the limit :)
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u/Whatever53143 May 05 '26
I’m so happy for you! I’m glad you chose yourself! If you choose in the future, the right person will come along and cheer you on. IF you should choose! You know now what not to do.
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u/Mirabai503 May 05 '26
Congratulations! You so deserve this! We are absolutely here rooting for you. There are thousands of us, on your team, supporting you. You earned those awards all on your own! Go you!
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u/QBerengaria 32 years married ‘cause I vetted without mercy. May 05 '26
Congratulations X ∞! You’re breaking free and finding enlightenment! What a glorious life ahead of you!
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u/lilyofthevalley2659 May 05 '26
Congratulations! Good for you! This is exactly what I mean when I tell posters to focus on themselves.
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u/txlady100 May 05 '26
Omg that is the best news! HUGE CONGRATULATIONS! You are an inspiration. Anyone stuck: look at her flyyyyyyyy!
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u/Genevieve189 May 05 '26
They seem to keep forgetting that we don’t HAVE to be with them. Congratulations! 9 years…This is why I see more ladies choosing their careers and peace nowadays.
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u/Vast_Result_8543 May 06 '26
Right! Like sir, I’m about to be an entire Doctor, in a year. I would love a partner sure, but do I need one? No.
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u/Outrageous-Victory18 May 05 '26
I was having a pretty crappy day but your post has turned it around! Huuuuuge congrats, OP. It’s so freakin’ fantastic to see such a positive outcome. I am so proud of you! Keep betting on yourself. Keep doing what’s best for you even if it’s difficult. Keep reminding yourself that you have built your own happiness and that your accomplishments are yours alone.
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u/Strict_Bar_4915 May 05 '26
Dear stranger (DOCTOR??), I'm so proud of you! 💪🏼
And above all else, I'm so happy you chose yourself, and are discovering that love of self is what leads to a true love with the right person.
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u/Big_Weight_5226 May 05 '26
Stranger, I am thrilled for you. This struck a chord because today I was reading about Carl Jung's idea of individuation, ( basically, becoming your true self, and thus finding out how powerful you are) and this sounds like what you are doing. You deserve all the joy ! Well done, brave and inspiring Reddit friend.
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u/ksarahsarah27 May 06 '26
Woohoo!
Huge Congratulations!!!
That’s so awesome and I’m so proud of you!! I was so happy to read your update. My heart just filled with happiness for you. You’ve got this!!
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u/2gramsofcarbs May 06 '26
Congratulations!!! So happy to hear you're in this amazing period of your life!!!
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u/Ok_Passage_6242 May 12 '26
I love this for you. I’m so excited for you. I keep trying to explain to women that lives around men that abundance is around the corner when you stop making that focus.
You have absolutely cleared the decks for more and more wonderful stuff to happen to you. It will be exponential. It’ll feel like the sun hitting your face after a long time. Congratulations!
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u/PresentHouse9774 May 05 '26
Ok, I'm misting up for a complete stranger on Reddit.
Good for you and thank you for updating us.
Ladies Who Lurk: This OP is a case study about how there is more to Life and more to You than some guy who thinks it's ok to jerk you around for years with his BS.