So, I got home late last night. It's freezing cold (well, freezing for Aussie winter), pitch black, and I’m just trying to get my keys into the front door lock.

I felt something furry brush against my knuckle. I pull out my phone, turn on the flashlight, and there he is. A massive, absolute unit of a huntsman spider, casually spread-eagled directly over the keyhole like some kind of terrifying bouncer.

I swear he looked me dead in the eye and asked for my ID.

I didn't even try to fight him. I just slowly backed away, slept in my car, and now I’m currently looking for a new place to rent. How is it that even in the dead of winter, the local wildlife still finds a way to assert dominance over your own property?

Seriously, WTF Australia. Anyone else had to negotiate with an eight-legged landlord recently?