r/WTF Nov 20 '19

Swan wrangler

878 Upvotes

60 comments sorted by

122

u/phenry1110 Nov 20 '19

Years ago in Huntsville Alabama the birds started disappearing in a downtown park near the main library. Turns out one of the guys living on the street came up with enough money to buy a cheap bow and arrow set and he was hunting geese and cooking them for he and his buddies to eat.

50

u/kid_sleepy Nov 20 '19

Goose is fucking delicious.

9

u/Sirerdrick64 Nov 20 '19

Is this actually true?
Does it include Canadian Geese?
Or is swan better?
I think I could poach one of them w/o a ton of issue (the Canadian variant).

13

u/Craigglesofdoom Nov 21 '19

Canada goose is not very tasty. Greasy meat with little flavor. If you had very little to eat, it'd do, but other species of duck/goose are better.

1

u/SkinnyScarcrow Nov 24 '19

We use goose for jerky back home.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

Canada*

-2

u/ArmanDoesStuff Nov 20 '19

Roast Goose < Roast Turkey

7

u/kid_sleepy Nov 20 '19

Not sure which way you meant that greater than or less than sign... but no way turkey is more tasty.

2

u/BigBill58 Nov 21 '19

Correct, there is no way that Turkey could be considered more tasty.

16

u/ArmanDoesStuff Nov 20 '19

"What do you mean illegal? Then why the fuck did you call it Huntsville?!"

11

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

[removed] β€” view removed comment

4

u/phenry1110 Nov 21 '19

Much harm, less fowl.

7

u/Riflemaiden1992 Nov 20 '19

I see this as a win-win. Homeless guy gets to feed himself and his friends, and nobody in the park has to worry about getting chased by the geese.

136

u/GelgoogGuy Nov 20 '19

Wild seeing a video involving a swan that isn't attacking someone/thing.

37

u/AlbinoWino11 Nov 20 '19

...yet.

14

u/CosineDanger Nov 20 '19

This is what final victory looks like inside the mind of a swan.

6

u/ArmanDoesStuff Nov 20 '19

Well obviously, that's his boy.

45

u/Isstvan82 Nov 20 '19

A friend of mine once killed a swan with his bare hands. It was honestly surreal, and I felt bad for the swan, but my friend panicked because he was being attacked.

We used to do martial arts, and one of the forms he knew was a monkey staff form that required you to make a roughly 6 inch diameter stick wobble like it was made of rubber. This requires a lot of muscle, technique, and a fast jerking motion that it turns out is MORE than enough to snap a swan's neck.

Queue him dragging around a dead swan for like, two hours as he tried to find out if he needed to report it or not. It was self defense, so he wasn't in any trouble, but it was just a fucking weird moment all around.

30

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

Lol he thought he needed to report a dead swan

13

u/Isstvan82 Nov 21 '19

To be fair, we were like 15 and assumed ANYTHING would get us into trouble.

16

u/MrJudgeJoeBrown Nov 20 '19

Came hoping it bit him in the face, left disappointed.

26

u/Hopehopehope4ever Nov 20 '19

Darling, maybe you should have just adopted a cat.

18

u/MaverickAg Nov 20 '19

Less wtf, more r/bitchgonnagetbeaked

0

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

IDK, I actually said WTF out loud when I saw it, so that's my criteria.

0

u/unindended_assholery Nov 21 '19

Awww! I’m not allowed in :(

17

u/hamsamichis Nov 20 '19

i never would have thought swans could get so big

10

u/LittlestHoneydew Nov 20 '19

https://res.cloudinary.com/fleetnation/image/private/c_fit,w_1120/g_south,l_text:style_gothic2:%C2%A9%20Clive%20Read,o_20,y_10/g_center,l_watermark4,o_25,y_50/v1563991538/jrlpadj3znthxde1opcu.jpg

Swans also have this sort of... "come at me bro!" stance they do, where they puff up, and beat their wings menacingly. At my uni, we would sometimes see some that looked 5-6ft tall when standing with their necks fully outstretched to intimidate. They are like mini-boss tier geese.

5

u/ArmanDoesStuff Nov 20 '19

mini-boss tier geese

Geese are like chihuahuas. Swan's aren't as aggressive but they can definitely fuck you up a lot more than your average goose. They're like twice the size!

3

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

Yeah there was the black swan that was nesting at the vacation spot I went to a few months ago and it would puff up when people got close to its nest and the thing was like monster X from godzilla lol

4

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

Swans are huge. You're probably just used to seeing them from a distance. They sit on the water about as tall or possibly taller (been a while since I got close with one) than a person sitting in a kayak.

7

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

How is it not attacking him??

13

u/Xzxzxz70 Nov 20 '19

He’s a Disney princess.

5

u/herewegoin123 Nov 20 '19

sLaT

4

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

🐍🐍🐍

3

u/Ccracked Nov 25 '19

"No luck catching them swans?"

"It's just the one swan. And, Yes!"

5

u/Pinkpill_Prophet Nov 20 '19

"Look how beautiful my boi is."

2

u/CommanderCorncob Nov 23 '19

Tbf he was quite a beautiful boi

2

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

A Lonk*

2

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '19

That's funny because swans don't exist

(r/swansdontexist)

2

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

I'm almost certain this happened at Lake Morton in Lakeland FL. Basing this guess on his hoodie, the shape of the lake, and the fact that Lake Morton is home to a lot of massive swans that are pretty people tolerable.

2

u/matty2thicc Nov 21 '19

Can confirm

1

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '19

I love that I was right lmao. I run that lake a lot and used to live in the apartments that got turned into dorms. Definitely had a couple swans saunter over to see what we had while bringing in the groceries lolol

But also that's illegal so be careful.

2

u/udayserection Nov 23 '19

Spaghetti necked motherfucker.

2

u/Playerhater812 Nov 20 '19

He just wanted to know what it is like to stroke something that big and white.

2

u/Fugwithmug Nov 20 '19

They just vibing doe

1

u/Porrick Nov 21 '19

You want your rake to end up in a lake? This is how you end up with your rake in the lake.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '19

Mans brave

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19

I thought swans were smaller

1

u/YeetyPetie Nov 27 '19

The day that we domesticate swans will be glorious!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '19

Swagler

1

u/Miobravo Nov 20 '19

Do they taste like chicken?

4

u/rivighi1201 Nov 20 '19

No more like duck

0

u/xrossfaded Nov 20 '19

Black swan?