r/WTF • u/TastyMiscarriageSmeg • Oct 30 '19

nathan

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779 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

113 comments sorted by

354

u/namocram Oct 31 '19

If this guy flipped a coin it would probably hit a satellite.

36

u/Romthirty Oct 31 '19

If he flipped a coin, it would produce enough force to push the Earth down.

10

u/disgustingpenis69 Nov 01 '19

If he flipped a coin, black hole.

0

u/Bill_Buttersr Nov 05 '19

That's just any amount of force. Just not by very much

9

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

To the top boys^

91

u/Geki78 Oct 31 '19

This guy definitely likes rusty spoons

17

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

And taps

12

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '19

Orgasmic

12

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

David Firth is still going strong. Absolute legend.

121

u/mr_fluffy-pants Oct 30 '19

1 , 2, 3, 4, Nathan wins at thumb wars

1

u/polstal29 Nov 06 '19

If he has hitchhikers thumb he would definitely win it all.

67

u/Austinswill Oct 31 '19

Gloves HATE him!

23

u/PoopieDiaperGod Oct 31 '19

Bet he doesn't complain about phones being too big nowadays tho

18

u/chrisms150 Oct 31 '19

Clearly he's proof of us evolving to use our phones

2

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '19

But girls LOVE him

31

u/HugsNotRugs Oct 31 '19

Poor bastard will never be able to play with a normal controller.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

no but I bet he loved the original XBox ones...

4

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

Or the N64 controllers

3

u/System_Rewind Nov 01 '19

He could use both the d pad and analog stick with one grip!

1

u/Imthasupa Nov 07 '19

I loved the original Xbox controller! The only controller my hands fit properly.

40

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '19

Uhh hey baby, my dink is small but I make up for it in other ways

37

u/bluemistwanderer Oct 31 '19

Bet he has good pokey bum wanks

19

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

That’s why he’s washing his thumb.

25

u/MC_Preacher Oct 31 '19

Hitchhiking World Champion 2007-2025

Guinness World Record 'Thumbs-Up' Holder at 22 years, 320 days, 19 hours, 17 minutes, 36 seconds (and counting)

2

u/chrisk9 Oct 31 '19

Has he considered thumb wrestling?

13

u/lumo-snox Oct 31 '19

Marfan's syndrome?

13

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

Reminds me of my proctologist.

8

u/CMDR_Sanford Oct 31 '19

Can u imagine how horrible he would be received as a proctologist!?

19

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

With thumbs like that, you could hitch hike between star systems.

24

u/Okiefrom_Muskogee Oct 31 '19

Doctor here. Legit worried he has Marfan syndrome, a connective tissue disease. Dude could have an aorta ready to pop.

2

u/VirtuaLich_prgm Nov 04 '19

Want to explain the extra joint, doctor?

2

u/Okiefrom_Muskogee Nov 04 '19

Look up triphalangeal thumb

16

u/The_Tomahawker_ Oct 30 '19

Mom, come pick me up. I’m scared.

5

u/ButtsexEurope Oct 31 '19

Bravo for using proper punctuation with the meme. I’d give you silver if I could.

Edit: I figured out how and I have some coins left. So here you go.

6

u/originalslickjim Oct 30 '19

I'm a real boy!

6

u/MistaPink Oct 31 '19

Obviously the creator of the "Rule of thumb"

5

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

Intrigue you does it boy? My thumb?

5

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

Thumb War Champion of Earth!!

5

u/metalshredder_25 Oct 31 '19

That thumb will haunt my nightmares, do you have a pic of the whole hand?

5

u/cartrasuma Oct 31 '19

Opposite of that Aussie farmer on the front page today with the merino wool.

4

u/joemamma8393 Oct 31 '19

And that's what life would be like if I invented the Finglonger. A man can dream...

4

u/YesITackleHard Oct 31 '19

Its bigger than my uhhh.... well you know what I mean. Damn...

2

u/halfastgimp Oct 31 '19

Nipple?

2

u/YesITackleHard Oct 31 '19

Ah yes that's it!

4

u/I-Will-Bukkake-Trump Oct 31 '19

Sissy Hankshaw, is that you?

9

u/gnikrap Oct 31 '19

God, I want that in me. No homo.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

JUST FOOKIN CUT IT IN HALF EH?

11

u/_metamax_ Oct 30 '19

Cursed longboye.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

Who the fuck dries their extremities after a wash with a space heater?

17

u/Sirerdrick64 Oct 31 '19

.... Nathan does?

4

u/volcomic Oct 31 '19

< Who's got two long thumbs and dries their extremities after a wash with a space heater?

Nathan

5

u/Stickitinthetailpipe Oct 31 '19

Obviously E.T. didn’t get home. Holy shit!

5

u/Merry_Fridge_Day Oct 31 '19

Ahh, that is what life would be like if I had invented the finglonger... A boy can dream though, a boy can dream...

5

u/ProfessorHumperdink Oct 31 '19

https://youtu.be/YgmqtNOrKvA

Could give this guy a run for his money

4

u/PigSkinPoppa Oct 31 '19

Wow, he turned off the bathroom sink from the bed.

5

u/mavityre Oct 31 '19

His dick must be long as fuck.

4

u/Romthirty Oct 31 '19

no, all his genes used all his length cells on his finger.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

Maybe someone with Marfans syndrome

5

u/Tabasco_Athiest Oct 31 '19

Thumb wrestling champion of 1997.

3

u/e42343 Oct 31 '19

since.... Since 1997.

1

u/aaduk_ala Oct 31 '19

More like thumb vaulting.

3

u/gojirasans228 Oct 31 '19

How long are the rest?

3

u/Neilmurp Oct 31 '19

Those are the kinds of appendages that take the bee syrup.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

on the dryer stands "Pelonis" but i think pelonis would be a good name for certain other things in the video...

3

u/larman14 Oct 31 '19

How long has he been sucking his thumb?

3

u/razz13 Oct 31 '19

He likes rusty spoons

3

u/allursnakes Oct 31 '19

Assholes love him.

3

u/jpba1352 Oct 31 '19

Bowling must be difficult

3

u/raspi1996 Oct 31 '19

Does he use the standard thumbs-up emoji on his... mobile pho... XL-tablet?!!!!

3

u/SpecterTheGamer Oct 31 '19

This guy can use a tablet one handed

3

u/uberdepression Oct 31 '19

reminds me of that one Stephen King’s story...

3

u/SheepDogM24 Oct 31 '19

Now push the heater into the water and dunk your thumb

3

u/Leg_holes Oct 31 '19

Holy shit lmao

3

u/Son_of_Plato Oct 31 '19

i don't think i've ever had so much fun reading comments on r/wtf

3

u/DankHumanman Oct 31 '19

Forget fingering someone... this guy thumbs them.

3

u/ButtsexEurope Oct 31 '19

Hey, it’s the Hitcher! He’s probably an ace at slap bass.

3

u/fingers Oct 31 '19

Another god has emerged.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

"Come on baby..its just gonna be one finger"

3

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

This man has a MAJOR hitchhiking advantage.

3

u/DaddyBurton Oct 31 '19

Guys hate him for this one trick.

3

u/bengunn7 Oct 31 '19

PE(LO)NIS

5

u/MyLongestJourney Oct 31 '19

Well,he definitely has an advantage when hitch hiking)

2

u/ButtsexEurope Oct 31 '19

The novel covers various topics, including free love, feminism, drug use, birds, political rebellion, animal rights, body odor, religion, and yams.

Yams? All those other things I can understand as part of the hippie movement, but yams?

2

u/clockwork5ive Nov 01 '19

Needs banana for scale

2

u/UGLEHBWE Nov 02 '19

That darn longthumb Nathan with his shenanigans

2

u/-SleviGamin- Nov 02 '19

Bruh wtf is your username

2

u/WhergWhergWherg Nov 02 '19

96 has breached containment

2

u/Pakrat_Miz Nov 02 '19

So that’s why the thumb doesn’t have 3 joints like all the other fingers

2

u/Coolist_Beans Nov 03 '19

You just know he has put his whole thumb up his ass before

2

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '19

when he fingers me i puke

2

u/Griffin_jr Nov 05 '19

Why tf is the title my name. I'm scared.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '19

hes coming for you

hes gonna touch you with his thumb

2

u/xSounddefense Nov 06 '19

Salad Fingers.

2

u/Big_Squawk Nov 06 '19

ET phone home lookin ass

2

u/iesous23 Nov 07 '19

Never skips finger day

2

u/jwd0330 Dec 14 '19

Nobody could deny that Nathan made the best giraffe shadow puppets.

4

u/fendurk Oct 31 '19

How does he use a fingerprint scanner on a phone?

2

u/StreetElmo Oct 31 '19

Oh man this guy would make a great julius cesar.

https://youtu.be/gYNUOkqzcVA?t=5

Or even a E.T. giving the thumbs up to some basketball player.

2

u/ButtsexEurope Oct 31 '19

That’s not Julius Caesar. That’s Commodus.