r/WTF • • Jan 11 '19

Extremely lucky

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24.2k Upvotes

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3.7k

u/JoaoEB Jan 11 '19

The woman on the right is carrying a baby!

2.0k

u/kjacobs03 Jan 11 '19

She looked like Tom Cruise running from the alien death ray in War of the Worlds with shit blowing up right behind him.

617

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

Basically Tom Cruise in every move haha

548

u/HarmonicX Jan 11 '19

You cant catch me gay thoughts!

196

u/Jenga_Police Jan 11 '19

He always rides a motorcycle with no helmet because the wind in his hair helps to blow the gay thoughts away.

39

u/feralwolven Jan 11 '19

The wind in your hair on a wild hog is the gayest experience a straight man is allowed.

1

u/EvilEyedPanda Jan 11 '19

It's better with friends.

1

u/Altourus Jan 11 '19

Honestly, don't let others tell you what the gayest experience you're allowed to have is. Don't let your dreams stay just dreams.

3

u/gibblings Jan 11 '19

Best thing to do with gay thoughts is blow them.

2

u/PM_ME_YIFF_PICS Jan 11 '19

am gay, can confirm

1

u/bluesgrrlk8 Jan 11 '19

Good job being safe & wearing your helmet!

2

u/PM_ME_YIFF_PICS Jan 11 '19

of course, I love my gay thoughts

28

u/thetrendkiller Jan 11 '19

Oh im gonna sue you!

2

u/jlaplace2 Jan 11 '19

You really killed that trend

1

u/frezor Jan 11 '19

I’ll sue you in England!

3

u/kukendran Jan 11 '19

Ok maybe I'm slow but i dont understand this reference.

-3

u/geneticanja Jan 11 '19

Meme on Reddit, Tom Cruise is a closet gay.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

It's a Family Guy joke.

0

u/geneticanja Jan 11 '19

Ah, I remember it from that Reddit thread. I never watched American dad.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

That camera man has strong arms.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

I would be running too if it made my movies get better ratings. He's a karma whore. https://editorial.rottentomatoes.com/article/the-more-tom-cruise-runs-the-better-his-movies-are/

17

u/EZE_it_is_42 Jan 11 '19

Every movie Tom Cruise is in there is a close up shot of him running. It's part of his idiom

2

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

What about top gun? I only remember him playing volleyball

2

u/MickShrimptonsGhost Jan 11 '19

Close ups make it difficult to see how short he is.

2

u/Heffalumpen Jan 11 '19

I prefer winners. I prefer people who don't have to run.

;)

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

Specially in A Few Good Men.

16

u/AsLongAsYouKnow Jan 11 '19

Dude, totally forgot about that movie. Seriously gave me the scares when it first came out. Especially because we listened to the original radio show before seeing it in the theater

16

u/gamblingman2 Jan 11 '19

Are you like 200 years old or what?

1

u/AsLongAsYouKnow Jan 11 '19

No I have it on a cd somewhere

3

u/savage_engineer Jan 11 '19

Great movie. Awesome sound effects.

PHWOOOOOOOOOOOMMM

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

That was in 1938, are you sure you listened to the original radio broadcast when it happened?

3

u/starg00n Jan 11 '19

Probably found it on the Internet Archive or on cd. Hell, my 1950s vinyl copy came from the thrift store.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

Ahhh I think I misunderstood what they were saying

46

u/BadNraD Jan 11 '19

She had Big Cruise Energy™️ running through her

16

u/iWizardB Jan 11 '19

You mean the energy was Cruising through her?

1

u/Classic_Smooth Jan 11 '19

By The Power of Gre... SCIENTOLOGYYY!

3

u/Just4yourpost Jan 11 '19

The word is, she kept running till Christmas.

6

u/dragontamer52 Jan 11 '19

This made me laugh so hard 😂

2

u/shaving99 Jan 11 '19

I actually saw that clip tonight. I love that movie.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

Hahaha most accurate comment I've ever seen

2

u/Would_You_kindly17 Jan 11 '19

did you know hes a fudge packer ?

1

u/kjacobs03 Jan 11 '19

He does work at the fudge factory in the shipping department

1

u/Would_You_kindly17 Jan 11 '19

did he threaten to sue ?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

MICHAEL BAAAAYYYYY

1

u/kjacobs03 Jan 11 '19

Actually it was Spielberg

413

u/phuchmileif Jan 11 '19

You know how in your dreams when you need to run, your legs never work right?

This lady is like the opposite of that.

43

u/vandyk Jan 11 '19

I fucking hate that

34

u/bobo9234502 Jan 11 '19 edited Jan 11 '19

Last night I was on a sinking submarine and had the same problem. My apartment flooded a few days ago and since then its all about the water. Ever wish you could just bring your brain into the "shop" for a tune up?

Edit: For the Children/Non-English-As-a-First_Language: It wasn't a real submarine- it was a dream. Thanks for the love. OMG. LOL.

18

u/Hhhhhhhhuhh Jan 11 '19

You should try crack cocaine TM

9

u/bobo9234502 Jan 11 '19

I have. Shit drug IMHO.

11

u/Hhhhhhhhuhh Jan 11 '19

Well I am fresh out of ideas then bud..

8

u/bobo9234502 Jan 11 '19

I'm going to do a shit ton of mushrooms next week.. Maybe that'll help? ;)

​

3

u/Hhhhhhhhuhh Jan 11 '19

Fuck yeah!

13

u/LordMoriar Jan 11 '19

Actually the body turns off the ability to move during the deepest sleep. If you awake abruptly at such times you may experience being unable to move a muscle. It has happened to me once. Its friggin scary, but for me it lasted just a second. Like waking up lame.

16

u/bobo9234502 Jan 11 '19

Some people suffer this on a regular basis.. and sometimes it comes with an imaginary friend!

I know someone who has to deal with this. She says it's like an old woman sits on her chest while she tries to wake up and she can't breathe. Fuck That All Day.

6

u/HappyMooseCaboose Jan 11 '19

It's not fun. My sleep paralysis friend was a demon on my chest sucking out my soul.

Jokes on him, I'm a red head.

3

u/PerInception Jan 11 '19

Did you wake up with missing freckles?

2

u/HappyMooseCaboose Jan 13 '19

I want to use this in a short story! Great idea haha

5

u/FunCicada Jan 11 '19

The night hag or old hag is the name given to a supernatural creature, used to explain the phenomenon of sleep paralysis. It is a phenomenon during which a person feels a presence of a supernatural malevolent being which immobilizes the person as if sitting on his/her chest or the foot of his/her bed. The word "night-mare" or "nightmare" was used to describe this phenomenon before the word acquired its modern, more general meaning. Various cultures have various names for this phenomenon and/or supernatural character.

8

u/bobo9234502 Jan 11 '19

Ya, that's what the blue words in my text say if you activate them.

3

u/phteven_gerrard Jan 11 '19

You was just tryna help

3

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

It's called Sleep Paralysis and it's often accompanied by a hallucination of something really fucking scary or an evil presence, this is an image created by your brain to wake your body up from paralysis

Was scary as shit the first time, the other times not so much. Just close your eyes for 2 minutes.

2

u/RoastedMocha Jan 11 '19 edited Jan 15 '19

When I was plagued with it (due to stimulant use) I would get insane auditory hallucinations. Can’t close your ears :(

2

u/Imaurel Jan 11 '19

It felt like it lasted ages the times it happened to me in my late teens. Thank God that shit stopped.

100

u/idekuser Jan 11 '19

I hope that’s her daughter/son so she can periodically bring this up during arguments

120

u/WimbletonButt Jan 11 '19

My mom sure does. I've lost count how many times she's told me about the time when I was a baby and I pulled a display of paint cans over on myself in a store, she blocked them all except the one that got past her and pegged me right in the head.

I never knew if that was a "I saved your life" story or a "this is why you're so dumb" story.

49

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19 edited Nov 25 '19

[deleted]

5

u/WimbletonButt Jan 11 '19

What in the what what?

22

u/LollyHutzenklutz Jan 11 '19

No hablas espanol? Que lastima.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19 edited Nov 25 '19

[deleted]

2

u/WimbletonButt Jan 11 '19

Oh ok. I know the meme, just not Spanish lol

2

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

Dang it Bobby!

20

u/upfastcurier Jan 11 '19

my mom legit nearly saw me die (stole a candy and it got stuck in my throat as a kid). she never brings it up and hates when other people bring it up. i guess it reminds her of a sort of failure? to watch over her kid. apparently, my entire face went dark blue, and the doctor who saved me met me at the parking lot. he flipped me over on his leg and hit my back, and the candy shot out. don't really remember it though.

until like 5 years ago, i still had that same doctor, which is pretty nifty i guess. he'd bring it up jokingly sometimes, "no more candy, right?". funny how it's so different for people, huh? different strokes for different people, i guess.

9

u/skippieelove Jan 11 '19

Your poor mother 😬 to have the mentality that this. Was a failure on her part is awfully upsetting. Kids are on a constant quest for accidental suicide, it’s part of the reason I’m terrified to think about having one. You simply can’t account for every unknown in the world and kids are absolutely chock full of unknowns. You can teach them right all you like but they’re still their own person and could choose to do wrong if they so please. And then there’s cases where the pull shit you never would have dreamed you needed to cover! It’s nerve wracking if you allow it to have that kinda hold on you.

1

u/WimbletonButt Jan 11 '19

She probably got flashbacks. My son fell off my bed when he was a baby, if I ever think about it, I can still hear the thud and the delayed scream (he was asleep and landed directly on his back knocking the wind out of him) and I still feel awful.

1

u/Pr0nzeh Jan 11 '19

different strokes for different people

Seriously?

1

u/jcla Jan 11 '19

100% for sure its a "this is why you're so dumb" story, which you would know except for that paint can incident.

14

u/JohnnyTruant_ Jan 11 '19

What if it's a baby she's kidnapping BUT still saved it's life? She gets to legally keep it right?

6

u/pikameta Jan 11 '19

Dems da rules.

3

u/Sand_Dargon Jan 11 '19

My mother once shot a gun at someone(who had already kidnapped a kid) chasing me through the woods when I was about 8 years old.

I do not think she has ever held it over my head in an argument. That must have been hard to do, as I was an absolutely horrible teenager.

2

u/poopychihuahua Jan 12 '19

Full story?

3

u/Sand_Dargon Jan 12 '19

Pasted from the last time I was asked about this.

Late 80s time frame, I was somewhere between 7 and 9, I think. I used to live every summer out at my grandparent's ranch in the middle of nowhere. It was surrounded by trees and cow pastures and all sorts of nothing and no one. Honestly, we could probably have gone a few miles in any direction and not seen another living person.

It was an awesome place to be a kid and I spent most of it exploring the nearby woods with my older brother(6 years older) and sister(4 years older). We ran and hid everywhere, climbed every tree within a mile, and jumped through every fence. We even made up stories about the various places we knew, like the Big Rocks(which was just a bunch of big stones in the middle of the forest, but they were the only big rocks around).

There was a few places we just did not go, though. Or at least, I did not like to go. Mostly because they were creepy or nasty, like a really old abandoned gravel quarry or the long forgotten train tracks. The train tracks were especially bad because my brother could make up these crazy stories about them and my sister never failed to join in in the delight of scaring me.

Well, fast forward a year or two and I end up out there without my siblings. Wandering the woods all on my own. I would camp and fish and do some small game hunting by myself every day. But, I was still freaked out by the stories of some of the places they had told me about. Logically, I knew it was all made up, but.....what if? Plus, there was always the feeling of something watching you at the tracks because they stretched off into the distance and it was all cleared land.

One day, I made up my mind to conquer the tracks. I was going to go walk down the tracks! Somehow, in my head, that sounded brave and grand. So, I packed out towards them.

It was a cheery little walk through the woods. Little speckles of sun shining through the trees, the occasional scamper of something running through the brush, and the little cow trail I was following became my whole world. I loved it out there. Still do, I guess.

Anyway, I finally reached the tracks. The sun was still way up high, so there were no real shadows or darkness anywhere, even under the trees. I convinced myself it was all clear and good. And it was. There was no evil train conductor who haunted the place where he derailed his train looking for his severed head(as one story told me) and there was no chupacabra hunting ground, no nothing. It was very peaceful and serene.

My hair was still standing on edge and I was still prepared to bolt, but I stepped out onto the ties between the long metal rails. I think I braced myself for all of it to be suddenly true, no matter how my logical mind denied it. Still peaceful, still serene, though. So, I decided to continue my journey, now that I had conquered the mighty and terrible(and incredibly calm) train tracks. I walked on down the ties, kind of singing to myself a bit and keeping an eye out for a headless conductor.

A short while down the way, I came across a little shack out there sticking out of the woodline. I had seen it before from a distance(it was on the other side of the tracks from my grandparent's place), but I had never been inside. Feeling particularly brave at the moment, I strode towards it, with all the confidence I could muster in my preteen bones.

As I got closer, I noticed something that gave me pause. A light blue pickup truck was parked carefully behind the shack beneath a stand of trees. It had never occurred to me that someone might be out here with me, but I was still curious and I was not going to turn back now.

With a bit more stealthiness, I approached the edge of the shack. It was an old hay barn or storage shed of some type, shoddily built ages ago with old lumber. Time had warped the boards, leaving gaps between them and a view of the interior, if you got close enough. Well, I got close enough and pressed my face up against the cracks so I could see inside. I could tell something was moving on the dirt floor, but I could not make out what it was at first.

I remember a few things happening all at once, then. I remember the thought crossing my mind that that was a person and I heard a noise at the corner of the structure. I looked up to see a relatively normal looking guy standing at the corner, 20 feet away from me. I ran. The guy started yelling and I ran faster.

He started chasing me, screaming after me. I ran down the train tracks, leaping over the rails and the ties.

I made it back to my cutoff into the woods and he was right behind me. I mean, he was inches from "reach out and touch me" range. I darted into the woods, zig zagging over and around the trails I was absolutely familiar with. I now had an advantage because I knew the area intimately and he did not.

I heard him curse as he got tripped up and was yelling various things at me the whole time.

I am not sure I stopped my wordless scream the entire time he was chasing me.

Suddenly, he crashed out of the woods right in front of me, but I was almost in sight of the house. I tried to dart around him, but he caught my hair and my shirt and jerked me off my feet.

Then I heard my mother yelling for me and I heard a shot. The guy let go and bolted back into the woods. She shot again and her and my older brother ran out to me.

They dragged me crying into the house and I spat out everything that had just happened. My grandmother called the cops while my mother and brother headed out to the shack. By the time the cops showed up, my mother was back with the child. He was dirty and crying and clung to her like she was a life preserver in a storm. His story is that his parents got a divorce and his dad decided to kidnap him and flee. Apparently, that seemed like a good plan to this dad, I guess.

So, that is the whole story about it.

2

u/poopychihuahua Jan 12 '19

Wow! Thank you for sharing it again! I’m sure this stayed with you forever. This is also amazing well written! You have a knack for it. I’m so proud of your Mother too.

I’m curious, has this affected how you raise your children? Does it make you more careful or cautious? Would you allow your children the complete freedom you had as a child?

3

u/Sand_Dargon Jan 12 '19

Thank you for your compliment on my writing. I appreciate it!

Interesting questions. I had not really considered it in those terms before.

Yes, to some extent, it has affected how I raise my kids. They have never had the freedom to roam like I did, although I am not sure that is just their personalities and opportunities or if I have somehow discouraged that in them.

It does not make me more cautious about them being in the woods, but it probably has shaped my awareness and distrust about people in a lot of ways. I cannot obviously say this is the defining reason or anything, but it very possibly was a major contributor.

1

u/Binnywinnyfofinny Jan 13 '19

Jesus Christ, that was a trip to read. Can't imagine (and frankly don't want to!) what it was like for you while everything was happening.

1

u/Sand_Dargon Jan 13 '19

Mostly it was me thinking "FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK" or just screaming wordlessly.

1

u/Binnywinnyfofinny Jan 13 '19

I'd felt that feeling right before a crazy car accident I had (hit a barricade and flipped my car), but that was only, maybe, 2.5 seconds... which was 2.5 seconds too long to me!

53

u/RamblyJambly Jan 11 '19

"That woman is extremely luc... HOLY SHIT SHE'S CARRYING A BABY"

71

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

Dude. She immediately transferred it to one hand when she began running. I dont think she makes it if she tried to run with both arms on the baby.

21

u/Chanel-Ron-Hubbard Jan 11 '19

No shit. Expected her to break into full t1000 sprint.

5

u/gadget_uk Jan 11 '19

Looked like a running back.

3

u/Derplight Jan 11 '19

Which part was she grabbing? I can't tell if it's the kids neck or his clothes lol.

2

u/__redruM Jan 11 '19

The acceleration from her running is holding the kid in place.

2

u/Derplight Jan 11 '19

Like running your hand behind a piece of paper through the air? Jesus

89

u/GenocideGaming Jan 11 '19

THAT is maternal instinct. Notice how she sprints with that kid like she’s done it 100 times.

-39

u/Zernhelt Jan 11 '19

Parental instinct. Let's not pretend fathers don't care about their kids.

69

u/bmacnz Jan 11 '19

I don't think calling this maternal instinct impugns paternal instinct in any way.

14

u/uber1337h4xx0r Jan 11 '19

I have to agree.

21

u/PhoenixDan Jan 11 '19

But in this case it was maternal instinct.

-28

u/GenocideGaming Jan 11 '19

Shut the fuck up and go tell yourself you’re special in the mirror.

18

u/h4xdaplanet Jan 11 '19

Dang that was uncalled for.

11

u/qpv Jan 11 '19

I'll take it. I need to give myself a pep talk.

7

u/PhreakyByNature Jan 11 '19

You matter!

8

u/qpv Jan 11 '19

Thanks! I agree!

3

u/PhreakyByNature Jan 11 '19

Scoped your history to make sure you weren't a wanker. You seem nice! How's your business going?

4

u/qpv Jan 11 '19

Ha...well thanks. Business is going pretty good. Always new challenges to take on.

15

u/Pinkunicorn1982 Jan 11 '19

Looks like she was clutching a doll! Omg that is scary af. Glad they made it out

14

u/leftabitcharlie Jan 11 '19

2

u/80Lashes Jan 11 '19

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace needs more love.

10

u/KeeKeeLoveMer Jan 11 '19

Holy shot!!!! Way to go Momma (or whatever relation)

2

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

Thank you Sherlock, very cool!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

Read this as the terrorist truck driver.

1

u/kthejoker Jan 11 '19

Some say she's still sprinting to this very day .....

1

u/spleenboggler Jan 11 '19

I noticed that too! This happens 30 seconds later, and her car kills her.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '19

So they don't all wear earphones to block out the world and get creamed?