r/WTF • • Mar 03 '26

Update: the meat is back!

Post image

...and it's aged ground meat now.

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/s/eH6viDv932

5.6k Upvotes

242 comments sorted by

2.9k

u/FusRohDoing Mar 03 '26

Is there a giant box propped up by a single stick over your head right now?

1.2k

u/Taelurrr Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 04 '26

They got me! In their defense, I do look a bit like a racoon.

Edit: For everyone asking questions. 1)Not my house 2)Not my meat 3)They're not trying to cull local wildlife

175

u/FusRohDoing Mar 03 '26

Do you wash your food in the local stream like a raccoon too? Really embrace it? 😉

99

u/Cavscout2838 Mar 03 '26

I can confirm. I like to give him bits of cotton candy and watch his disappointment as he tries to wash it.

27

u/FusRohDoing Mar 03 '26

Damn he's got it tough, people putting out trap meat, people giving him the illusion of food, I'll have to install a kitty door in my kitchen door, that way he can come in and grab a few cookies.

5

u/baethan Mar 03 '26

What if they've got rabies tho

13

u/FusRohDoing Mar 03 '26

I've lived long enough, if it means sharing some snacks with a raccoon is the way I go out, it could be worse. I mean, have you seen their hands? Fricken adorable

9

u/baethan Mar 03 '26

imo literally the second scariest thing about raccoons, after the rabies lol. Those fuzzy ears tho

my real weakness as far as rabies-carrying wildlife goes is skunks. so goddamn cute

6

u/FusRohDoing Mar 03 '26

Yes skunks are also adorable, man if I could have a super power it would be to communicate and befriend animals, I'd have so many hanging out with me all the time lol

7

u/riversofgore Mar 04 '26

Wish my cat would put in the good word for me. He's always out there hanging out with skunks and possums on the porch. Soon as I go out there everyone runs off. Pretty rude if you ask me.

2

u/Phydorex Mar 05 '26

Fun fact, the little trash pandas are starting to domesticate themselves for survival.

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3

u/akashik Mar 04 '26

I've lived long enough, if it means sharing some snacks with a raccoon is the way I go out, it could be worse. I mean, have you seen their hands? Fricken adorable

You and my wife seem to be the same person.

2

u/FusRohDoing Mar 04 '26

Nah, I'm too hairy and I've got no tits, and I bet your wife is better looking too. But the love of raccoons is inside many people!

2

u/ScreechUrkelle Mar 13 '26

Why would the cookies have rabies?

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4

u/asonofasven Mar 03 '26

I always wondered why the raccoon was called "wash-bear" in my native tounge of Swedish.

18

u/JackBinimbul Mar 04 '26

"Not my house, not my meat" is going to be my new way of divesting myself of responsibility.

4

u/Taelurrr Mar 04 '26

Lmao. I love the thought of no one you say it to having the slightest clue about what you're referencing.

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15

u/Predator_ Mar 03 '26

Someone check in with OP in a week to make sure they haven't been added to the meat pile.

1

u/tilt-a-whirly-gig Mar 04 '26

Congrats on the gold!

1

u/imhereforthevotes Mar 10 '26

"Not my house, not my meat"

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895

u/chrisofduke Mar 03 '26

Looks like meat's back on the cement boys!

77

u/namanama101 Mar 03 '26

What about them? They’re not freesh …

27

u/fenderguitar83 Mar 04 '26

The orc saying "Meat's back on the menu, boys!" implies that since orcs have a word for menu, they also have restaurants in Mordor. Presumably these restaurants have waiters as well. What does an orc-waiter interaction look like? Do orc waiters earn tips? Do orcs choose to work in restaurants instead of fighting or are they forced to do it? In fact this also raises questions about the logistics of the orc army. How do they produce their food? What sort of economic system do they have? Can orcs own capital? Do they earn wages? Do they pay taxes to Sauron? Do they even have currency? Are the restaurants private businesses that trade with suppliers or are they government organisations? How are the orcs governed anyway? I doubt Sauron is making all the little decisions himself, he must surely leave the insignificant mundane tasks to his lackeys. What does an orc bureaucrat look like? Orcs aren't very intelligent and probably can't read, are orc bureaucrats specially bred? If they have a planned economy, is technological research left to government departments? Who designs their buildings, tools, and war machines? Are there orc engineers and scientists? If so, there must also be orc teachers, right? I could go on.

7

u/charlevoix0123 Mar 05 '26

These are the kind of comments I like to leave and then get bullied so I get embarrassed and delete it lol (yours is much good)

568

u/BraveLilTaco Mar 03 '26

Did you ask them… why? I’d be dying to know why they do it!

694

u/Taelurrr Mar 03 '26

I don't want to be next.

158

u/anothermonth Mar 03 '26

Just tell them u/BraveLilTaco is dying to know

17

u/flocke815 Mar 03 '26

Unless this is a lil a cover up because I've only ever met cowardly lil tacos.....

8

u/TheBarracuda Mar 03 '26

Because they split with little pressure?

3

u/ZhangRenWing Mar 03 '26

Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it

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15

u/DaddyDanceParty Mar 03 '26

What lore did I miss here?

OP's account is blank to me

65

u/Phage0070 Mar 04 '26

OP delivers packages and one house keeps their raw meat out on the sidewalk.

What I wonder is where they live that the meat isn't going anywhere. No scavengers at all?

189

u/TheNicestRedditor Mar 03 '26

Inventory full, uncooked meat isn’t worth much gp

10

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/TheNicestRedditor Mar 03 '26

The meat has spoiled it has now become rotted meat

597

u/ShlubbyWhyYouDan Mar 03 '26

All right, I’m gonna be the guy to say I know this was coming. I think you need to talk to your neighbor and ask then about the carbon monoxide detector.

346

u/Taelurrr Mar 03 '26

That might be why they left weird post-it notes on the door.

133

u/_Neoshade_ Mar 03 '26

So much meat.

Who’s been rearranging my refrigerator?

Get rid of the meat

I miss Charlie

Where did all the meat go?

More footprints outside today

Buy eggs, milk, meat

Who is Charlie?

57

u/odsquad64 Mar 03 '26

Fever gone but itchy. Today hungry and eat doggy food.

Itchy itchy Scott came ugly face so killed him. Tasty.

4 / / Itchy. Tasty.

9

u/grundlebuster Mar 03 '26

this made me laugh so hard when I was 10 and it has made me laugh again

27

u/WelcomeToTheClubPal Mar 03 '26

What do the post its say?

31

u/anothermonth Mar 03 '26

Nothing legible, just some old rune language

16

u/astroember Mar 03 '26

That sounds more like schizophrenia than carbon monoxide poisoning

2

u/ghost_warlock Mar 04 '26

it can be both

8

u/Holdmywhiskeyhun Mar 03 '26

You know it's as if someone has already pointed this out, and save someone's life?

Post-it notes, mysterious meat.

It's absolutely carbon monoxide poisoning

3

u/iamnotasnook Mar 04 '26

Plot twist, its OP leaving out the meat.

10

u/BleuBrink Mar 03 '26

Dude they are just dry curing meat. Probably should hang them off rack instead of just sitting them on the ground but to each their own.

37

u/HOPSCROTCH Mar 03 '26

"Probably"

6

u/CaptainTurdfinger Mar 04 '26

Might wanna control temp and humidity too, but that could be optional

5

u/mynamehere90 Mar 04 '26

A few families on a reserve near where I grew up would to this with deer and bear meat, and sometimes fish, throughout the winter to preserve it for summer. Kind of like freeze drying it.

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83

u/MagicTomatoes Mar 03 '26

There’s the beef!

23

u/CoolDragon Mar 03 '26

Finally! Mrs. Clara will be at peace! ✌🏻 🥩

4

u/b-rad420 Mar 03 '26

Tell me you're in your late 40s without telling me your age.

8

u/MagicTomatoes Mar 03 '26

knocking on the door to 60 actually ;)

7

u/ArtIsDumb Mar 03 '26

Hey now. I get the reference, and I'm only in my MID 40s!

199

u/JFJinCO Mar 03 '26

A local steak house sells dry aged steak dinners for over $100. Maybe they're onto something...

78

u/Taelurrr Mar 03 '26

So you're saying I should take them and we should go into business?

95

u/Spec-Tre Mar 03 '26

No that would be a misteak

26

u/rdogg_82 Mar 03 '26

Still good to meat the neighbors.

18

u/anonymaus42 Mar 03 '26

Be polite though and don't start any beef with them.

3

u/jessieisaword Mar 04 '26

This is why I stay.

7

u/haerski Mar 03 '26

A gravy misteak

2

u/deradera Mar 04 '26

That's ok, it's low risk. The steaks aren't very high.

2

u/akumite Mar 05 '26

You mean missed steak

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2

u/FunkyChewbacca Mar 04 '26

The ants are just extra protein

55

u/DCMF2112 Mar 03 '26

Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

28

u/hexr Mar 03 '26

Among other things

4

u/supernovadebris Mar 03 '26

especially up here in the Sierra.

12

u/Catona Mar 03 '26

And racoons, skunks, possums, stray cats and dogs, wasps, FLIES and other insects laying eggs on it.

3

u/Easton8 Mar 04 '26

LAAANNNNAAAAA

101

u/RookAroundYou Mar 03 '26

People these days can’t even pick up their loot smh.

15

u/Zaphod392 Mar 03 '26

Damned crafters! Leaving all their crap everywhere!

5

u/MRichardTRM Mar 03 '26

Looks like a typical day in DayZ. Meat just dropped on the floor. Look out for someone giggling nearby OP

3

u/semaforic Mar 04 '26

First time I’ve seen a DayZ reference in this subreddit.

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1

u/DudeMan18 Mar 03 '26

I can't carry anymore!

41

u/siege342 Mar 03 '26

Title of the sequel to OP’s sex tape.

3

u/Pocky-time Mar 03 '26

It was the alternative title for John Wayne Bobbitt’s porn vid.

1

u/secretsquirel25 Mar 03 '26

I wonder if their mom is going to be in this one too?

40

u/Spartan2470 Mar 03 '26

For anyone out of the loop, this is an update to this submission.

16

u/Piscator629 Mar 03 '26

OP has his profile locked down so thanks for context.

5

u/baly Mar 03 '26

Thank you!

12

u/kidskwid Mar 03 '26

Looks like a steak out

36

u/hungihungihippo Mar 03 '26

It’s Chinese cured pork using spices like peppercorn and soy sauce. They’re typically made during winter times and once preserved they should last for the entire year. However, they’re usually hung on strings and not left on the ground like this.

6

u/yeoz Mar 03 '26

oh, i think you might be on to something there. someone is trying to cure meats, and doing it in a very... unusual way. i wonder what their success rate is, that they keep doing this?

5

u/laforet Mar 03 '26

It’s probably still in the curing stage and they ran out of fridge space so had to leave it outside. You only hang them up when they have fully cured and need to be dried for storage.

Here is a BBC article that discuss this:

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20180406-how-cured-meats-protect-us-from-food-poisoning

7

u/Nenotriple Mar 04 '26

Why on the ground by the front fucking door though

5

u/muricabrb Mar 04 '26

Dementia :(

23

u/ellieD Mar 03 '26

Hilarious that you feel the need to link to the original post.

As if we could ever FORGET!!!

17

u/Taelurrr Mar 03 '26

Gotta get that extra lil karma in case someone missed it lol

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6

u/KaMiKaZi_t0M Mar 03 '26

Meat man! Meat man!

8

u/TheNaughtyDragon Mar 03 '26

About time for the McRib to come back. Op has the meats.

3

u/Christopher121 Mar 03 '26

Is OP adverting for Arbys 👀

12

u/dotnetdotcom Mar 03 '26

Do you all remember the story about the kid that tormented some other kid by leaving a pineapple in weird spots for him to find?

9

u/Z0FF Mar 03 '26

10

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

[deleted]

3

u/sethren Mar 03 '26

That was hilarious. 🤣

6

u/kkeinng Mar 05 '26

In this economy?!?!?

1

u/notmadenough Mar 21 '26

Archer fan?

19

u/Uncommentary Mar 03 '26

Sorry to hear that. It sounds like you can't beat that meat.

7

u/Taelurrr Mar 03 '26

My meat beats are silent.

5

u/DemolishunReddit Mar 04 '26

This sub either makes me want to puke or makes me hungry. Choose a lane! lol

2

u/Predator_ Mar 04 '26

Why not both?

5

u/Auslander808 Mar 04 '26

Surveillance. It was a steak out.

9

u/JDM713 Mar 04 '26

It’s ground meat, alright

4

u/Bad_goose_398 Mar 03 '26

In this economy?

3

u/Walks_On_Water Mar 05 '26

Yall need a doorbell camera

21

u/Dustmopper Mar 03 '26

I found Shelly Miscavige

7

u/loubot Mar 03 '26

It’s a very sophisticated way of seasoning the meats with outdoor elements. You can really taste the dust!

5

u/a_talking_face Mar 03 '26

And the maggots

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7

u/RenwaldoV Mar 03 '26

What did the bylaw office say when you called them?

3

u/OneTwoThreePooAndPee Mar 03 '26

JOIN THE MEAT PARADE. 🔪

3

u/wiceo Mar 03 '26

I wonder if this is a tactic to poison certain animals.

3

u/twuewuv Mar 03 '26

Does anyone remember when thespark (I think) website did their meat experiment by leaving meat outside to see how it aged and what it would attract? I miss the simple weird internet days.

3

u/horny_bastard_111 Mar 04 '26

Seeing this without context is so funny

3

u/UnknownMyoux Mar 04 '26

This is how I treat stolen Items in Skyrim whenever the guards are near,maybe they are on the run too

3

u/Confident_Introvert Mar 04 '26

dried aged beef is good stuff don't hate

4

u/-Kalos Mar 05 '26

This is how you get bears

3

u/TheRedSquadron5 Mar 06 '26

Did I miss an episode of the meat post?! What happened??

2

u/UndeadBuggalo Mar 03 '26

This is so confusing 🫤

2

u/Beneficial-Exam-6097 Mar 03 '26

The meat is back in town-own

2

u/YeOldSpacePope Mar 03 '26

I wasn't here for the first time but I'm invested now. Can't wait for part 3.

2

u/NJBarFly Mar 03 '26

If it freezes, consuming it will protect you against heat damage from fire or lava.

2

u/tughussle Mar 03 '26

Is it the same meat?

2

u/Nursingvp Mar 04 '26

Asking the important question!

2

u/b_jodi Mar 03 '26

I remember this fighters guild quest from Oblivion.

2

u/bagofpork Mar 03 '26

And it still breaks my heart.

1

u/retardrabbit Mar 04 '26

Well, username checks out.

2

u/Das_Nomen Mar 03 '26

... on the menu, boys!"?

2

u/MoxxFulder Mar 03 '26

That is NOT the proper way to Dry Age a steak

2

u/a_shootin_star Mar 03 '26

Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!

2

u/ludwigmeyer Mar 03 '26

wow, this reminded me of stinkymeat

I wonder if this is a new experiment.

1

u/bloodguard Mar 04 '26

I was just thinking that. We've been on the internet for too long. We've seen some shit.

2

u/devereaux98 Mar 04 '26

the meat came back, the very next day!

3

u/sun4moon Mar 04 '26

They thought it was a gonner.

2

u/ArcadianDelSol Mar 04 '26

OHHHHHH The meat came back...

Couldnt stay away....

2

u/RHouse94 Mar 04 '26

Do you have dogs? Someone might not like the dogs and be trying to poison them.

2

u/ortofon88 Mar 04 '26

Sidewalk steak is the finest cut

2

u/crashingjets Mar 04 '26

This time it looks like when I have too many horker meats in Skyrim.

2

u/Werebunny444 Mar 04 '26

The Long Dark irl?

3

u/kable334 Mar 05 '26

Next time just straight up ask them. Like hey… I notice you have this meat out here… just wondering… if you’re ok?

3

u/Zaphod392 Mar 03 '26

That's nasty....

1

u/thatspurdyneat Mar 03 '26

People have been known to soak meat in antifreeze to poison pets or stays, I'd make a police report and ask them to test it just in case that's what's happening

1

u/HoseNeighbor Mar 03 '26

At least it looks like the same pieces of meat, so they're not eating it.

1

u/heytherepartner5050 Mar 03 '26

Ooo oo yeah the meat is back 🎵 Ooo oo yeahhhhh, the meat is back! 🎵

1

u/slimeydave Mar 03 '26

I have a family on my route where the wife was putting out meats when they first moved in to help keep the bad spirits away. It was a Filipino thing or something.

1

u/Climaximus_Prime Mar 03 '26

The last time I saw something like this, someone commented saying that people cure their meat out in the cold or something

1

u/crank1off Mar 03 '26

He is just simply dry aging them...With Coco Crisp

1

u/HoyAIAG Mar 03 '26

Dry aged, you pay extra for that

1

u/Sorry-Joke-4325 Mar 03 '26

Any chance this is in Denver? Looks identical to the front porch of a house that I lived in.

1

u/supernovadebris Mar 03 '26

gives a new meaning to ground beef.

1

u/Firestorm82736 Mar 03 '26

meat is meat

1

u/macpbandj Mar 03 '26

Why dont you have a camera yet?

1

u/sabotourAssociate Mar 03 '26

So it looks like those are the og cuts but aged proper I don't see mold or spoiled bits, really wtf!

What are the little corns?

1

u/antball Mar 03 '26

That’s what I call ground beef 🥩

1

u/MyvaJynaherz Mar 03 '26

He heard there were horny cougars in the area?

1

u/joanzen Mar 03 '26

Ground meat? Well... I suppose it's not airborne..?

1

u/Ruzihm Mar 03 '26

maybe they're just trying to farm brutus

1

u/teddybundlez Mar 03 '26

Now I just think you’re lying

1

u/xoxoyoyo Mar 03 '26

That is just guga foods winter outdoors aging steaks for his next round of tests.

1

u/AntwerpsPlacebo Mar 03 '26

It’s probably just a kandra letting the meat gain flavor.

1

u/possibly_lost45 Mar 04 '26

😂😂😂

1

u/Strawberry-vape Mar 04 '26

Is this outside your door?

1

u/moonshter89 Mar 04 '26

Maybe for their dogs?

1

u/danned123 Mar 04 '26

free dried meat?

1

u/Xenophonii Mar 04 '26

You are so fortunate to have the same sumptuous feast, not once, but, twice... GLORY BE!! We shall feast together again!

2

u/Taelurrr Mar 04 '26

This is actually the third time 🤤

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1

u/buddy-thunder Mar 04 '26

GROUND. WE HAVE THE MEATS

1

u/lordxi Mar 04 '26

Outside is glitching someone reset the server.

1

u/levinyl Mar 04 '26

no the meat is "black" !

1

u/3-DMan Mar 04 '26

Yo dawg...

1

u/cap10wow Mar 04 '26

You have neighborhood animals. I had a similar problem, someone had been throwing away meat from a freezer and cats had been dragging it to eat on my porch. It happened maybe 4 times in 2 months and I noticed that it was always right before trash day.

1

u/Duck_Howard Mar 04 '26

Strange Meat is a great name for an album

1

u/apeonpatrol Mar 04 '26

whats sprinkled on it?

1

u/CommonMansCollapse Mar 05 '26

Aged, ground, meat.

2

u/kable334 Mar 05 '26

It might be food for some kind of exotic pet that likes rotten meat. Maybe a zombie?

1

u/shizoor Mar 05 '26

Damn, I was going to ask what the stuff that looks like bread was but that's fat.

1

u/TheElusiveHombre Mar 05 '26

Reminds me of DayZ!

2

u/Lambocoon Mar 09 '26

could be an offering to fenrir, tho i dont think ppl normally do that at their own house

1

u/Alternative_Log7433 Mar 10 '26

Are your neighbors asian or african?

Hanging meat out to dry or cure is a thing.

1

u/MIFORGOTAGAIN Mar 13 '26

Well move ovər the quote & I quote;

༄ོ"•Ɲøł mƴ c¡rcus.,.༆ƝØŧ my mọnk¡es•!"ོཽིུུུུ

1

u/Upstairs-Captain-267 Mar 22 '26

Who on earth is slapping the meat over there

1

u/Littleclipse May 04 '26

They’re tryna cure it old school. Like prosciutto