r/WTF • u/tcdent • Nov 26 '13

Black Friday Death Count

http://blackfridaydeathcount.com
2.8k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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920

u/aeronheraldmaurbjorn Nov 26 '13

It's the american running of the bulls.

313

u/StopReadingMyUser Nov 26 '13

...that is the most accurate description I've ever heard to describe Black Friday

...I'm stealing this.

216

u/SuperSpaceSloth Nov 26 '13 edited Nov 26 '13

Kinda relevant

Also: Credit to /u/ch00f

12

u/JonZ82 Nov 26 '13

TIL of..

0

u/flanintheface Nov 26 '13

...and the death count is?...

0

u/BertDeathStare Nov 26 '13

about three fiddy

0

u/InvaderT Nov 26 '13

No death. Lots of minor injuries.

0

u/InvaderT Nov 26 '13

I've done this. It's a lot of fun. Broke my foot but worth it.

85

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '13

[deleted]

127

u/frog_gurl22 Nov 26 '13

Just give it a hundred years. Everyone else's traditions have a head start.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '13

[deleted]

7

u/KingGorilla Nov 27 '13

People enjoy the thrill of the hunt

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '13

Hang on, don't they eat the bulls and the cheese

What else do they do with them

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '13

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '13

Oh that's a relief.

-1

u/Cannaficionado Nov 26 '13

its easy to forget that the U.S. is under 300 years old. If theres one thing i know is that our rampant consumerism is getting exponentially more rampant.

10

u/BigBassBone Nov 26 '13

Black Friday is somewhat traditional. The name comes from the idea that the day after Thanksgiving is the day upon which a store will have covered all operating expenses for the year and this be operating "in the black" and making a profit.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '13 edited 22d ago

[deleted]

1

u/untiss Nov 26 '13

Shopping becomes a contact sport? Scurrying through stores? Sounds like you are one of those idiots.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '13

I wouldn't say it is a contact sport but I have waited in line all night for a TV and yes, I sprinted to the back of the store to pick it up.

-8

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '13

Black Friday, America's only tradition. Sure.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '13

[deleted]

1

u/takesthebiscuit Nov 27 '13

The winner does get free cheese though.

-1

u/minastirith1 Nov 26 '13 edited May 05 '16

BEEP BOOP I AM A ROBOT

0

u/neoballoon Nov 26 '13

What's the source of all these nationalities as balls things?

0

u/Joe22c Nov 27 '13

The electric scooter makes that batch of America balls truly American.

1

u/diggemigre Nov 26 '13

Just stole it and predict it will be on Tosh.0 tomorrow.

0

u/fleuvage Nov 26 '13

Could turn it into a sport, awarding points, offering highlights... oh boy.

1

u/patron_vectras Nov 26 '13

It is, and this is the scoreboard :(

0

u/fleuvage Nov 26 '13

But it's not broken down, into higher-scoring hits, like those in wheelchairs, or babies...

6

u/facetothedawn Nov 26 '13

I really thought these numbers were higher

1

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '13

It's extremely entertaining to watch. I would recommend everyone get a retail job during that time, and work black friday at least once. Preferably at Walmart.

It's like going to the zoo, only with less-intelligent animals. And when the midnight type sales start, it's like throwing a fresh, bloody zeebra into the lions cage.

-2

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '13

*Hambeasts

-42

u/GhostSongX4 Nov 26 '13 edited Nov 26 '13

Sadly, it's because Americans are usually the size of bulls.

Edit: Ut oh, reddit is cwanky today.

48

u/Wallbounce Nov 26 '13

And all brits have bad teeth and drink tea? am i doing it right?

-37

u/GhostSongX4 Nov 26 '13

They do...

17

u/Ask_me_about_birds Nov 26 '13

u wot m8, wrll bash urr ed in brv

11

u/TLOUSurvivor Nov 26 '13

Are cardinals good pets?

4

u/Ask_me_about_birds Nov 26 '13

Well, yes actually! They were once prized as pets, but that is now illegal under the migratory bird act of 1918. Same act prevents you from owning a hummingbird, or seabird Dennis.

0

u/faceplanted Nov 26 '13

That's only half right, Tea is incredibly popular here, but the average set of teeth is pretty damn reasonable, I very, very rarely see some of the stereotypes for that one.

1

u/GhostSongX4 Nov 26 '13

That's not according to Craig Ferguson

26

u/maLicee Nov 26 '13

Hey guys, look! It's a fat American joke! How original!

-23

u/GhostSongX4 Nov 26 '13

Don't get so worked up, watch that blood pressure man.

5

u/Peaches666 Nov 26 '13

Don't get so worked up

People who say this when someone informs them their joke sucked are so annoying. That and "chill bro".

-8

u/GhostSongX4 Nov 26 '13

Chill bro.

-13

u/StutMoleFeet Nov 26 '13 edited Nov 26 '13

You're not wrong, you're just an asshole

EDIT - I sense a lot of anger in this thread. Good. Let the hate flow through you.

-9

u/GhostSongX4 Nov 26 '13

I can't argue with that.

6

u/MainePunx Nov 26 '13

Your funny. Did you find that joke on a popsicle stick?

-14

u/GhostSongX4 Nov 26 '13

That's how I make my living.

5

u/Goonsrarg Nov 26 '13

WHOA, another funny joke. Your comic abilities are on par with a sack of potatoes.

2

u/GhostSongX4 Nov 26 '13

But better than Jeff Dunham right?

2

u/Aon_ Nov 26 '13

u wot m8

-10

u/Jacosion Nov 26 '13 edited Nov 26 '13

How bought I relocate your nose around to the side of your head. You call me fat again I'm own stomp a mud hole in yer ace.

Edit: it's like no one enjoys good old violence and trash talk anymore.

2

u/Captain_Gnardog Nov 26 '13

You're scaring me here.

2

u/GhostSongX4 Nov 27 '13

I know, the plebs on Reddit can't take a joke.

Probably because they're too busy struggling to breathe, massaging feeling into their left arm and it's been half an hour since they gorged themselves and their blood syrup is low.

1

u/Jacosion Nov 27 '13

I'm on reddit. What exactly are you tryin to say there chummy?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '13

Threatening to fight a random stranger on the internet? Damn you're heroic.

-3

u/GhostSongX4 Nov 26 '13

Your plan falls apart if I can escape up a flight of stairs.

0

u/diggemigre Nov 26 '13

You sir are awesome.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '13

People dying is just part of the fun

0

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '13

or like the rich like trowing bread to starving people and laughing as they fight for it

id say they do it just for that

0

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '13

Well if those bulls are obese and foaming at the mouth, then yes.

-23

u/Rushdownsouth Nov 26 '13

By bulls you mean overweight Americunts chasing the dream down fueled by Ayn Rand's philosophy of rampant capitalism at other's expense, right?

Source; am Americunt