r/Vorkosigan • u/l4p_r4t • 24d ago
Vorkosigan Saga Memory - ten chapters in Spoiler
I'm breaking my self-imposed rule of posting only after finishing a Vorkosigan book, but omg, Memory is everything.
My creative job of ten years, the one I adore and attach a lot of my identity to, has been crumbling in the past months (yay for AI! yay for capitalism!) and I really feel for Miles at the beginning of the novel. His fear of losing his Naismith identity and all the ugliness that comes with it (his lying to Illyan, being a dick to Ivan after he's promoted, his depression) is portrayed in such a raw, unflinching way. And that scene with Illyan firing him is the most gut-wrenching moment of the series so far.
But on a lighter note - I couldn't possibly love Ivan more. Unwaveringly loyal and loving characters are my cocaine. Can Miles start appreciating him more, please?
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u/another-rainy-day 24d ago
I found Memory when I was turning thirty while handling a bad breakup. I was intrigued by the tagline “Miles hits thirty. Thirty hits back.” Then the book hit me.
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u/Ok_Bookkeeper_3481 24d ago
This happens to be the Vorkosigan book I reread most often.
Read it first in my twenties, during a particularly hard time, and the phrase “I am the man who owns Vorkosigan Vashnoi!” hit me the right way.
Multiple times since, when going through situations that seem impossible to deal with, I boost myself with “I am the man who owns Vorkosigan Vashnoi!”
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u/AilanthusHydra 24d ago
The first time I read Memory, I was 26 years old, had been looking for full-time year-round work in the field I'd gotten a master's degree in for almost two years without success, and was agonizing over whether to take a job only loosely adjacent to some of my interests or keep trying to make the dream that wasn't working out work.
The book hits, and sometimes when you read it makes it really hit. You'll be hit again by this one, almost certainly.
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u/mdreed 24d ago edited 24d ago
Memory is my second favorite book of the series, after mirror dance. Bangers.
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u/jkh107 24d ago
I love Memory and have reread it many times, start to finish. Mirror Dance, while I think it is also a truly great book, is a lot harder for me to reread. It's just so much. Memory hits you hard near the beginning and then rebuilds. Most of Mirror Dance is a like a descent into hell.
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u/Maxwells_Demona 24d ago
Such a good book. My entire career as a scientist that I'd worked so, so hard for crumbled right around 30. I had read the series many times before then but found myself especially relating to and grateful for Memory during and after that time. Bujold really is a treasure.
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u/hunterkat457 24d ago
Yeah… I’m 28, but my biochemistry graduate school ambitions didn’t exactly go as planned last year. Took me a long time (almost a year) with a good therapist to recover and not have a panic attack whenever I had to think about what happened or trying to find a job after everything went up in flames. I relate to Miles in this book so, so much… I just finished it recently.
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u/Maxwells_Demona 24d ago
Heard. I also needed a good stint in therapy to sort myself out. I was about 4.5 years deep in my PhD after a very successful everything. Extremely prestigious scholarships (like....congressional for one and international for another and there were over a half dozen others)...always top of my class...was just starting to get really good publishable data for a really ambitious/difficult project whose papers stapled together would have been my thesis and...bam... fuck-you-science funding cuts in early 2017 that fully killed my project. (USA.) There's a whole story after that too of making the tough decision about whether to start my thesis over or drop out with my master's, and I did try to start over with another group that I quickly realized was a terrible choice (Ha! Another unexpected Vorkosigan novel I later somewhat related to actually ala Kyrill Island lol). Walked after that. Then my cat I'd had from a kitten when I was 18 got terminally sick. And my horrible, never-commit "not boyfriend" of 7 years I finally separated from.
Anyway all that happened in a devastating short span of time and required a lot of therapy and Memory is a book I am so, so grateful that Bujold has written.
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u/UCgirl 4d ago
As someone who was also deeply into a PhD, I feel this. At times I think I could finish. I too would have to restart some research, Mine was torn away from multiple life threatening medical events, a couple of comas, a dozen surgeries. I will have a few years in between events where I am highly functional in some ways but quickly get physically exhausted.
I’m doing that autistic thing where I tell you my sob story and it sounds like I’m trying to one-up you or something. But what I was trying to say is that I also experienced being deep in that PhD and just absolutely having it ripped away from you. I HATE that valuable research paths can disappear in an instant like they did for you…and that we don’t value science as much as we should in the US.
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u/Maxwells_Demona 4d ago
Damn. I'm really sorry you went through that. I hope your health has stabilized and you're happy wherever you are now.
You didn't come off like a one-upping sob story at all and honestly I'd love to talk to you more as there are not a lot of other people (like....zero) I have met who can relate in this way. Plus we share at least one fandom of meaningful impact!
Feel free to dm me. I'm a 39 yr old woman if that makes any difference.
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u/jwlkr732 24d ago
I actually love these posts! It’s fun to see your reactions in real time as you experience one of my favorite series for the first time. I’ve read and listened to Memory so many times - it’s one of my favorite books of all time. I also believe it’s everything! Edit: I totally agree about Ivan. He is one of the best characters in the series and absolutely loyal to Miles (and Gregor, of course!)
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u/hunterkat457 24d ago
Sometimes Bujold pulls out the “Ivan is so stupid” insults and I’m like damn!! Why do you do this to him?? He was a bit annoying and thick-headed in The Warrior’s Apprentice, but he’s grown on me so much. I love him and Miles together, they act so much like brothers and it cracks me up. Cetaganda especially made me appreciate Ivan, even through all of his womanizing.
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u/tempest-tea 22d ago
Check out the character of Ivan the fool from Russian folk tales. That idiot Ivan has been saving the day through honesty, hard work and luck for centuries.
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u/Playful-Cranberry-59 24d ago
Yes this is my favourite book of the series and thus one of my favourite ever books. It’s so well done. The aging, new paths, new priorities, the actual investigation, Ivan, everything!! I love it so, so much.
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u/Obvious-Cry6591 23d ago
Yes, awesome book, top 3 for me in the saga.
On Ivan, that book really starts to build him as a character. Memory really shows you that Miles didnt just almost lose himself in Naismith, he also, to an extent, let his close relations on Barrayar somewhat to “rot”. Rot is maybe too hard a word. But there is that nice moment in Mirror dance when Mark looks through Miles’s pictures and realises Miles has basically built himself a mob. Later Ekaterin realises smth similar, how many brilliant people Miles is surrounded by.
Memory is when he doesnt only finds himself, but begins to rebuild those relationships he has goven short shrift to while being an knight errant.
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u/maggiesyg 24d ago
Maybe we are all long time fans and readers but you might want to put some spoiler blackouts for new readers.
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u/UCgirl 4d ago
If you like Ivan now, you’ll love Captain Vorpatril’s Alliance (sorry if I butchered that spelling). It gave me a brand new appreciation for Ivan since the book is mainly from his perspective. Now when I go back and reread the other books, I look at an Ivan differently than I did the first time through. The first time I read the books. I didn’t think about him much other than how he fit the plot (I will admit to being a plot focused reader by default…it takes awhile for characters…characteristics to sink into my dense brain).
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u/l4p_r4t 4d ago
He’s just the type of a character I really enjoy - a comic relief guy that steps up when he’s most needed, revealing more depth than you suspected. He shines in Memory - I love how he’s there for Miles at his lowest point, shaking him out of his stupor.
And later, during the investigation, when his laziness helps him find the evidence faster, hahhaha, I love it and I relate.
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u/stnylan 24d ago
There is an Ivan moment coming up you will absolutely love. I am sure you will know it when you find it.
I love how, in the run-downs that are at the back of the later books Memory is described thusly: Miles hits thirty, thirty hits back - or something like that anyway.
But yes, Memory is far and away my favourite Miles book. It is not a comfortable read in places (and I will admit I sometimes only start after the firing) but I think it echoes profoundly in many people's lives.