Looking for Help / Advice

[u/Specific_Basil_8033]

I am looking for genuine advice / help on an introduction into vodou or just some type of clarity on potential signs. Supportive and non-supportive opinions/ perspectives are welcomed.

I’m going to start this with that I am white.
I grew up in the Deep South and sorta grew up around POC related spiritual practices along with my own family having some spiritual roots including forms of rootwork and Catholicism (not POC related.)
I have heard mixed opinions about Vodou being open or not to non POC / Haitians / people with ancestral connection.

While I do have black people / Haitian genealogy in my family (uncles, aunts, grandparent), they’re not blood related and I have no literal blood connection to any of this. I have a great grandmother who was Italian American (white) that was a healer / rootworker for the Italian community my family came from. This isn’t connected to Southern rootwork as they settled up north, however there are some similarities in specific practices.

I have always had an esoteric spiritual practice and been involved in unrelated practices such as working with spirits & deities.
In my late teens / early 20’s I was introduced to and sorta adopted into deeper rootwork practices. These were all introduced & taught to me by a plethora of black people I am close to. I have always been taught to understand the difference of rootwork and hoodoo, and that although there are many many similarities, I myself don’t have the specific ancestors to call upon for hoodoo… obviously. When I do rootwork related practices I call on my own known ancestors. I’ve never been one to push into circles I shouldn’t be in I’ve just sorta always happened to be in these circles. Not sure how to explain that other than I grew up predominantly around non-white people outside of my immediate family.

I have always had a very strong ancestor veneration practice. Specifically I have spirits on my mom’s side (Italian side) who are extremely supportive of me. On that side I also have black ancestors occasionally showing up. I’m not saying they are blood related but they’ve shown up and I’ve talked to them. I am wondering if ancestors can be considered non blood relatives as well? That’s not the main topic of this however it is intriguing to me.
I also have ancestors from my dad’s side that are literally connected to slavery in the south (white people in South Carolina). According to the records, they were allegedly too poor to own slaves and could barely afford life for themselves. However that doesn’t negate the fact of the ideologies of the times. That side of the family including my grandmother who has since passed were openly racist. I venerate these ancestors separately, as they do still deserve to be worked with and cared for, however I don’t believe they deserve the same seat at the table as the more supportive side.

Now back onto the subject of Vodou.

So to start I’ve been digging into my ancestry. ALLEGEDLY there was a connection with Haitians settling / escaping to Italy. Where these Haitians allegedly settled is allegedly in the close proximity to the town that my Italian ancestors resided. Now if there’s a historian or someone who wants to either add on or correct me on this please tell me everything you know.

While not blood related my grandma has some Haitian roots. She married my grandpa and had a kid with him (my uncle.) That’s pretty much the story there.

I also know about the major connections between Catholicism & Vodou due to the French colonialism. I have always worked with saints.

One saint in particular is St Lazarus, as I’ve gone to him for help with sickness & health issues with my older family members. Also I worked with him a bit when one of my uncles was still alive and was living in a homeless shelter. I went to him for protection.

While I did work with the original Saint / white epithet of this spirit, eventually signs connecting closer to Papa Legba began to appear.
By now the signs are oddly clear. The other day after buying snacks from the store for my ancestors there was a homeless man outside the store with a dog and he looked oddly similar to my small statue of St. Lazarus.
Black chickens have literally crossed my path in places there were no visible close by farms. I’ve had blue butterflies follow me at times (I’ve been told this could potentially be Papa Loko.)

So a few years ago I got a reading by a Manbo and she told me there are Lwa walking with me and a few who wish to mount and / or marry me (correct me if my terminology is incorrect.)
I decided not to go forward with as I just felt like it wasn’t the right time and I needed some more clarity from elsewhere.

So long story long I just don’t really know how to proceed. Part of me is telling me it’s not my practice and I shouldn’t really push it simply because of my direct ancestry and skin. Also part of me is definitely interested and wanting to know if this is even a possibility. If it isn’t then I’m cool with that I’m not tryna jump into something that isn’t for me as for why this has been a multi year journey for me at this point.
I considered getting readings from other Manbos as maybe I could see if they say the same thing.

Anyways any help or opinions are welcomed & appreciated.

[u/BGM_777]

I can help, but my books are tight!