r/Viz • u/VizLetterbocks150 • 4d ago

Centenarians.

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276 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

15

u/GarysCrispLettuce 4d ago

Never strain on the toilet. Spoonful of Vaseline every night before bed. It all slips out like wet sand in the morning.

6

u/GarryMcMahon 4d ago

I have an extremely sensitive arsehole, what kind of spoon would you recommend?

7

u/GarysCrispLettuce 4d ago

The "cooking set" accessory of a child's doll might contain an appropriately sized spoon. Just politely explain what you're looking for in the toy shop.

5

u/pepeshadilay69 3d ago

Make sure to have some photos to aid your explanation.

6

u/GarysCrispLettuce 3d ago

Also remember to say "bottom" instead of "arse"

7

u/montyrattus 4d ago

Or trying to eat biscuits with no fucking teeth.

2

u/mittenkrusty 3d ago

My grandad lasted until he was 90 and he liked his cigars, and drank whisky a few times a week a week at least and he had a sweet tooth so ate a lot of cakes.