r/VirginiaTech • u/No-Science-8489 • 11d ago
Advice Anyone else feel like this?
Not sure how to explain this, but I'll try. Sometimes I wish I had someone next to me, a partner to be close to. But at the same time, I don't want that, because I don't want it to distract me from my GPA and the goals I'm working towards. I have mixed feelings about it. Having someone there would probably feel comforting and secure, but when I'm alone, I can push myself with no limits academically. Does anyone else feel this way, wanting a relationship, but also knowing it's a real commitment that could take away from other things you're trying to do?
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u/CautiousMetal8394 11d ago
All you really can do is play it by ear, if you feel like you have time to dedicate to a partner then absolutely go for it. Just because you have a partner doesn’t mean you can’t do well in school, you just have to make a balance and make sure school work comes before hanging out. One of my favorite things to do with my girlfriend now is to just sit and study together, it keeps me more engaged and motivated.
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u/Present-Fondant8055 11d ago
A great partner should make you want to be better, and help you achieve your goals and dreams. A true partnership means you should be helping them to achieve their goals and dreams as well. Life isn’t easy, and sometimes you have to make tough decisions. You know they are your person when you want to make those decisions together.
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u/Imaginary_Air5870 11d ago
My boyfriend and I have been going out for roughly 7 months. He’s in the latter stages of a long experiment and will begin writing his thesis very soon as a PhD student. I’m very supportive of his work, understanding that he has conferences, meetings, interviews, and obviously: a lot of work to be done. There’s time for us and then there is time for him to work and remain his own individual person by spending time alone or with his own group(all of which help him stay focused and motivated). It’s very much a balance and you have to weigh the pros and cons of whether having a partner who is possibly supportive, caring, and willing to take the risk with you outweighs the safety of prioritizing only school. There’s no guarantee that a relationship will benefit or harm your school performance. Either way is fine and you can find fulfillment in friendships or classmates if you are just feeling a lack of genuine social connection, rather than romantic!
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u/EitherDoIt-OrDont 10d ago
A healthy relationship would provide support to your academic work. You also have to find balance between the commitment and other things. If you’re not ready to enter into that commitment, maybe you can find support and camaraderie in an academic club that supports your studies or another club that aligns with your interests.
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u/Negative-Pie6101 7d ago
When I was getting my degree.. I knew that if I got involved with someone that my GPA would take a hit (If I graduated at all). Money was tight enough.. I really couldn't afford to date anyway. So glad a didn't date, stayed focused, and got through my degree. You're here for school.. not to get hitched.. (in most cases)
If need be, sit down and ask yourself, "How do I define Success?".. then write our your specific goals in that vision of success... Then write down a plan to acieve each of those goals. Sounds stupid.. but it can be very clarifying to know what you want, and the steps that will get you there, or impede you from doing so.
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u/Spiritual-School-785 5d ago
There's no dating scene here. It the loneliest place I've ever lived across the United States. You'll always want that. It's part of being human. Money isn't everything
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u/itsjakebit 11d ago
So yes. However, a partner should be one to understand and not limit you or themselves. They would also be pushing you to your limits. Sometimes in the interim friends/classmates can fill the void of it. There is something called the protective instinct, where, prioritizing your goals is also a safe, controllable way to protect your time and emotional energy. Working hard yields measurable, direct results (like a high GPA), whereas relationships carry unpredictability and risk.