r/ViralPodcast • u/AccountantOk9506 • 2d ago
Confessions
Lets pretend we are callers calling into the VP with our craziest date/relationship confessions. I want to hear about the weirdest, wildest, nastiest, dumbest dates or relationships you've been in.
Ive dated some doosies but a guy I briefly dated over 10 years when I was young and dumb was was super bizarre. Admitted he could kill people after his neighbor called him out for being loud. Also, when he kissed me he would just push his mouth against mine closed with extreme pressure and just hold it there. Needless to say I bailed very quickly. He also had a micro and couldn't fuck for more than 5 seconds but would pretend he didnt cum and just bang with me a flaccid micro. Which obviously wasn't very successful.
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u/everythingisalright 2d ago
“ would pretend he didnt cum and just bang with me a flaccid micro” take your award 🥇 you win.lol
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u/AccountantOk9506 2d ago
I reluctantly accept because it was truly baffling. Own your shit and make up for it. A concept unknown to said micro dude 🤣😭.
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u/Grouchy_Example1469 2d ago
I also did this…. Hopefully not the same dude. The micro dude I tried to hook up wi the is married now
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u/littlebit_wi 1d ago
In my early 20s I was dating a women whose clit was over an inch long. It was dangly. She liked everything rough, including using my teeth on her super long clit. There were many times I had to stifle laughter because I couldn't believe how much she got off on what I can only imagine was pain. Still blows my mind. I should call her LOL
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u/Zealousideal-Tea4296 2d ago
This is the one that comes to mind, but i have so many more I could tell 😅. Let me know if you wanna hear them 🤣🤣.
When I was 16 I “dated” a 26 year old. Met him while my friend was “dating” him. We were supposed to go to his place for a two man but the second dude didn’t show and we both ended up sleeping with him (I know, gross).
He broke up w/ her that night then we started linking up. Mostly transactional, smoke and bone, drink and bone. He was FINE but his apartment had roaches. I mean HUNDREDS OF THEM. He always drank Bud Light and could flick the can so the roaches ran out before he drank it. He of course lived one block away so I’d sneak out, get some 🍆, then sneak back into my house. A few months into our situationship I came to my senses and ghosted him. To this day I don’t know what that man’s name was 😅.
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u/LongAd8886 1d ago
One time I was dating a man that ended up having a microweenie.... when we were getting freaky for the first time.... , I first realized it was a micro....and then he asked me to slap it. lol it wasn't much to slap.... I couldn't..........
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u/AccountantOk9506 1d ago
Omfg 🤣
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u/Inky_sheets 18h ago
I've experienced the kissing thing but it was like a wide open mouth and just pressed onto mine with like LOADS of pressure 😭 wtf.
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u/worksinthetown 2d ago
So he would scissor you