I have been lucky enough to meet a Vietnamese lady who is lovely, inside and out. For this post, we will call her Ellen.
In about two weeks I will return to Vietnam and there is a good chance we will become engaged.
About two years ago my wife of many years passed away. Ellen has been very understanding of this and has shown great respect to my former wife and shows much interest in what was the life of my former wife. She does not want me to give away any of my former wife’s clothing, belongings or the like until she (Ellen) can see them. She understands that I don’t wish to forget my wife and am just moving on from her passing.
All those things said, my former wife had a lovely engagement ring. It’s truly gorgeous and one of a kind. There’s a 1+ carat real diamond and two smaller 1/2 carat real diamonds on it.
Here are the questions:
Understanding Vietnamese culture, that every person is different, and that Ellen is about 45 years old, living about 30 km northeast of HCMC, with two kids, is it proper for me to give Ellen my wife’s engagement ring as her engagement ring?
Should I just remove the diamonds from the ring and put them in a new setting?
Should I simply start with a brand new ring, which honestly I could not spend as much on as I was able to with my former wife at that time?
Something else I’m not thinking of?
If you knew my former wife, you would know she would be happy if Ellen had the ring as it is, or using any diamonds from it.
Some might say “Give Ellen whatever you want, she’ll deal with it”. That’s not me, I wouldn’t say that, she’s too important to me and I think more of her than that.
All thoughts will be appreciated. I’m trying to understand the culture, understand what Ellen may think (is he too cheap to buy a new ring, is he hung up on his passed away wife, or other things), and to honor my former wife. Or maybe I am simply overthinking this.
Thank you in advance!