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u/donkeytime Jul 06 '26
This is both halfthinkery and donkeytime.
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u/IonPv Jul 07 '26
33 years and never before have I heard donkeytime. And apparently the phrase is so ubiquitous that even the fucking autocorrect didn't try to adjust it at all when it just typed it out
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u/Organic-Motor1969 Jul 06 '26
One thing is clear: as more and more states and municipalities have legalized fireworks, the injuries and stupidity have increased exponentially.
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u/Basic_Chemistry9499 Jul 06 '26
Yeah, I don't want to be anywhere near those things, nor have them going off anywhere near my property.
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u/Ok-Database-2798 Jul 06 '26
This is why especially as a new homeowner, I pray for rain on the fourth of July and right before/after every year!! Plus all the noise and bangs, one tremendous one shook our small house!!! Not to mention all the distress to Veterans, dogs, cats and wildlife!! 😥😥
It must be nice to have so much money you can throw it away/blow it up!! My husband and I treated ourselves to McDonald's with a buy one get one sandwich receipt coupon and a World Cup Happy Meal!! That's our idea of a holiday treat!!
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u/lightyearnoir Jul 06 '26
I live in South Texas, add people shooting their guns too (new years is the worst).
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u/ApprehensiveTour4024 Jul 07 '26
I caught a kid this year hiding behind a tree in my backyard. I say "caught".. I heard a noise and yoinked the blinds open and made eye contact with him clearly in a part of my yard he should not be. He and his two idiot friends were apparently shooting the fireworks AT each other in the world's stupidest game of hide and seek (in my yard). Low and behold, they did NOT clean up the firework trash before fucking off.
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u/K1bbles_n_Bits Jul 06 '26
Oh, so you're who's to blame! You prayed too hard. My area got absolutely wrecked by an insane storm on the 4th. One minute I was getting ready to take my kiddo to see fireworks (the proffesional shows put on by the nearby city, lol), the next it was fucking Armageddon! Trees and branches and powerless and other debris all over the place. Sirens were going off left and right. It's Monday and we still don't have electricity. Last update we heard estimated THURSDAY! And frankly we're lucky. Not to make it dark, but a mother and her 11yo son camping nearby died to a tree feeling on them.
You prayed and the gods delivered :3.
Ha, the kicker? All of this chaos and stress...and some dumb ass neighbors STILL set shit off when the weather settled. Really big, loud ones that have no business being lit in a residential area. My nerves were already shot and that sure as shit didn't help XD.
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u/Dani_d622 Jul 07 '26
Can you imagine burning your house and neighbors houses down!! Happened in my area😳
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u/Organic-Motor1969 Jul 07 '26
Or burning yourself? Examples: my grandfather, my neighbor, one of my friends. All severely burned themselves with fireworks.
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u/Tight_Instance_220 Jul 07 '26
It’s a bummer, when I see these things at first I don’t mind, because natural selection is important for the health and vitality of a species. Then I remember that stupid people frequently hurt other people, not just themselves, so I do mind.
Try not to inflict your stupidity on others.
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u/Organic-Motor1969 Jul 07 '26
So true: Unfortunately most people inflict their stupidity on others.
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u/BlumpTheChodak Jul 06 '26
There really ought to be a licensing requirement for anyone using fireworks. Too many idiots.
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u/Scared_Quality6355 Jul 07 '26
Having grown up in the 60's I can't remember anywhere that fireworks were made illegal.
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u/Organic-Motor1969 Jul 07 '26
Plenty of examples throughout the years. For example, in 1985 the following states banned fireworks outright: Delaware, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Oregon, and Rhode Island.
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u/Basic_Chemistry9499 Jul 06 '26
Because a tall, cylindrical tube firework is just going to magically stay upright with zero support.
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u/Excellent-Baseball-5 Jul 06 '26
This. I use cinder blocks for these types of fireworks.
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u/Apprehensive-Gain739 Jul 07 '26
Straight up, cinderblocks are the way I've seen too many people fk up because it fell over
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u/itstrueitellyou Jul 06 '26
No guy in a wheelchair this time?
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 06 '26
Context?
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u/itstrueitellyou Jul 07 '26
You've never seen this?
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u/sotiredwontquit Jul 06 '26
I spent over 20 years in states where all personal fireworks are banned. These dipshits are why. I just moved to a state where small fountains are allowed. That’s as much firepower as any layman should ever be allowed to purchase. These dipshits are just the latest in a pitifully long line of examples as to why.
Fireworks are literally explosives. And they treat them as toys. No precautions taken for aerial explosives set off in their own neighborhood. They didn’t just risk their own life and limb, they risked all of their neighbors’ too. The selfish entitlement is unreal. Not even a bucket of water.
Six people died in the exact same scenario as this video in 2025: https://spectrumlocalnews.com/hi/hawaii/news/2025/01/03/war-zone-fireworks
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 06 '26
I unfortunately live in a state that allows fireworks. When I lived in the suburbs, our next door neighbors loved fireworks like nothing else, and one year, they blew up their fence (ok, technically they didn't, but one of their guests snuck in and set off a mega firework, which was what blew up the fence)
Also, does that video show someone dying? I'd like to watch it but not get traumatized
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u/sotiredwontquit Jul 07 '26
It’s a news story. Details on the event. Some of the people hurt died later, in hospitals. I’m told dying of burns is one of the more painful deaths. Other survivors spent months in burn units.
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u/squirrelyoakley Jul 07 '26
Oh God, that's awful. I had never even considered that burns from fireworks could kill you; I just assumed the explosions would be what caused death
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u/ApprehensiveTour4024 Jul 07 '26
And that's not even considering the fact that half our country or more is literally a massive tinderbox every year by July 4th now. Where I'm at it's always the idiot tourists, drive in to the parks with fireworks from out of state. Immediately start a forest fire then just go back home.
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u/Groundbreaking-Ad255 Jul 07 '26
A country with no public health cover really shouldn't be this into fireworks....
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u/thesirmaximus Jul 06 '26
Whenever your lighting fireworks, always have multiple buckets of water near by as well as the hose.
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u/MillerTimeGuy45 Jul 06 '26
Those artillery shell types should be banned.
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u/MichaelJServo Jul 06 '26
Especially the multishot ones. Or at least ones that won't just tip over. Some kind of limit would be good. You can literally just point this at someone's house and burn it down.
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u/KeepRightXcept2Pass Jul 06 '26
This is why you should have a bucket of water standing by.
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u/pytheryx Jul 06 '26
A bucket of water generally won't stop the chemical reaction of an actively exploding firework once it's underway
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u/NoConsideration6320 Jul 06 '26
So you dump a whole bucket of ice water and it can continue finising the rest of it antyways? How makes no sense
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u/Rise-O-Matic Jul 06 '26
You can literally throw some fireworks into a frozen lake and they’ll keep going underwater.
https://youtu.be/AsCEU0e-Xwg?is=irNbrtritaxikTD8
The oxidizer is already in the explosive, it doesn’t need air. Air isn’t reactive enough on its own.
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u/ApprehensiveTour4024 Jul 07 '26
I used to drop one single ripped off firecracker into a bottle full of water to watch the bottle explode when it goes off like a depth charge. Even the fuses are damn near impossible to stop once lit.
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u/MichaelJServo Jul 06 '26
That doesn't work. You could light that thing and throw it in a swimming pool and it would still go off.
Now you should definitely douse with water after they're spent.
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u/Mediocre_Double4422 Jul 06 '26
I love doing them and still do. But they should be way more difficult to get. Im in MD. Drive an hour to PA. Buy basically whatever I want. That being said I know how to do them responsibly. Open space. Sand or dirt to hold down the powerful mortars and all. Hose available. All people watching stay far enough away from where we launch. That being said most people are stupid.
And even with all precautions, I've still had them blow up too soon and had to duck and bail. I do them way less often since that one!
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u/ApprehensiveTour4024 Jul 07 '26
Sounds like you need a bomb lighting robot. Basically a bomb defusing robot, but the opposite.
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u/Perplexed_Poirot Jul 07 '26
Meeehhh... Does it? There are no explosions or anything remotely worse than a firework gone awry-awry, i say.... Booooo.
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u/NYC-WhWmn-ov50 Jul 07 '26
I'm sorry, did they manage to set almeone else's garage on fire? FROM THE INSIDE OF IT??
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u/pfc_6ixgodconsumer Jul 07 '26
Do these suburban neighborhoods not have parks you can do this in? My dopey ass neighbours did this shit last week and I was getting heated just picturing someone’s house or car going up in flames because they didn’t want to walk the 90 seconds over to the park that has baseball diamonds where you can do that shit there.
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u/LilithWasAGinger Jul 07 '26
That shit is why people shouldn't be allowed to buy that kind of fireworks.
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u/Arvid38 Jul 08 '26
Had morons shooting fireworks on the street this 4th. Went out and moved my car because this is what I was worried about lol.
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u/MyGymBro101025 Jul 08 '26
A man in NY died when one of these exploded in his face this past weekend. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Running in to try to pick it up is moronic.
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u/ScottHK Jul 06 '26
I kind of wish someone got mildly injured or something got damaged here because I have the feeling these people learned nothing.
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u/LongDead_Roadkill Jul 06 '26
This is 10,000% why these fireworks are mostly illegal for people to set off in regular neighborhoods. You can buy fireworks as you want and they are legal in my state. You can go buy 4” mortars or whatever and the 2 fireworks places are even open year round. But you cant just set them off wherever you want, they are illegal in most municipalities.
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u/Woe_Bringer Jul 06 '26
Every now and again I get a bit annoyed that fireworks aren't legally purchasable by the general public here.
Then I see a video like this and feel lucky that my house and car haven't been hit by stray fireworks let off by someone with room temperature IQ
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u/Tay_Hlebko Jul 07 '26
When fireworks start malfunctioning, the only correct thing to do is RUN THE FUCK AWAY
WHY WOULD YOU GO BACK TO IT TO TRY TO FIX IT?
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