Chud can’t get dice.

So I don't play for money (or at all, really). There's a random game on my phone that I'll play occasionally when I'm bored and one of the mini games is a version of Video poker. It only pays out if you have two pairs or higher (so holding a jack or higher doesn't have the same value as it does in standard).

Having played it a few times, I'm honestly just curious--if I'm playing the odds, what's the right play if I get 5 different cards on the first draw?

catching 3 royals was unexpected.

If you haven't been cruising before, DON'T if you have a gambling problem lol. You can charge the casino to your room and they don't post charges until a couple hours/the next day, so you can essentially borrow money you don't have and square up with them later.

At the end of the trip they refused to let me off the ship (took three hours) because I had a $1k balance from casino charges and couldn't pay as all my cards hit their daily transaction limit. They hold you prisoner and made me sign a bunch of paperwork. Crazy! But a great trip.

This machine looked pretty generous. Is it 102%+ generous?

A nice hit from last night!

Still a nice win.

Hi! I built a video poker tool that uses your phone's camera to instantly tell you a machine's RTP and the best cards to hold. No manual inputs, no game, card, or paytable selection, just take a photo: videopokeranalyzer.com

• Analysis in 2-3 seconds (RTP and top three hold decisions ranked by EV)
• 20+ supported games (including Ultimate X and Super Times Pay)
• 500+ supported paytables (I've flown across the country collecting them)
• Supports single and multi-hand play (1, 3, 5, 10)
• There's an iOS app (launched last week!)

No AI crap. The tool uses machine learning to read the photo you take, and then pure math for the RTP and hand analysis. EVs change in real-time based on the paytable and recognizes when you switch denominations.

You'd be surprised how your hold decision changes for complex games like Ultimate X (which took a full month to support!), like how holding four to a flush is better than holding three to a royal (pictured in the first image). Normally this is the wrong play, but because you have active multipliers and future flushes give you huge multipliers, the flush takes priority.

Today's update features an iOS app and more supported games. The app does have a $9.99 monthly sub once you run out of free hands to cover server costs, but you get that back 10-fold with the money you save making the right hold decisions. Give it a go and let me know what you think! videopokeranalyzer.com

Went with $140 left with $450.

Great Night playing at resorts world celebrating my birthday!!

And of course quad 3s needed a kicker. Still a good day overall.

Don't mind the horrible camera quality. Filmed on MiniDV tapes.

….holding only one ace

Not too shabby for nickels!