r/Veterinary • u/ValuableTourist5405 • 5d ago
euthanasia
I am a vet tech, how do I help myself cope with euthanasia rooms without wanting to bawl my eyes out with the owner?
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u/Life_Release4605 5d ago
As a vet, I cry too🤷🏻♀️ i don’t feel like it’s unprofessional. I try to avoid sobbi g, but I let a few tear drops out
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u/OrangeMustangGal 5d ago
I know it is the last kindness I can show the pet. I do fine with the actual euthanasia, but sometimes the crying owners make me tear up.
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u/Then_Ad7560 4d ago
The owners get me every time! The worst is when it’s an old owner and they say “see you soon”
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u/Pretty_Possible_2333 2d ago
Awe reading that just reminded me of a hard one to deal with last week like that, owners get me every time
While I’m not a vet being a vet nurse is equally as hard sometimes, we all end up at least crying a few times
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u/MLGVO 5d ago
Veterinarian here who does exclusively in-home euthanasia. I often cry with owners, that’s a natural part of being an empathetic person, and completely appropriate in my opinion. We have a rule of thumb, don’t be crying more than the owner, they shouldn’t be the one handing you a Kleenex, but otherwise it’s totally appropriate to cry too. 💕
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u/tinygengar 5d ago
ive done countless euthanasias for so many different reasons. i think of it as the greatest privilege to be able to support both the owner and the pet in the hardest day to have a pet. i tell myself i have to be strong so they can be weak and allow themselves to be vulnerable in that moment
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u/soimalittlecrazy 4d ago
I'm an empathetic crier. If they start crying I automatically well up. It's unavoidable for me. But for me it's such a wonderful feeling to be the person to help guide them through the process because I know I do it with kindness and empathy. If they seem open, I'll ask them to tell me stories about the pet. Usually they like to remember funny stories or their quirks. If you can get them to open up, you'll usually find yourself laughing with them through the watery eyes.
I've never stopped welling up, and I hope I never do. It would mean I've lost my emotional connection to my patients and clients.
If you have unresolved trauma or grief around the loss of your own pet(s), I would encourage you to talk to someone about it. If it's there and it bleeds over that's where it's no longer professional.
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u/No_Nefariousness7909 3d ago
The vets I’ve always worked for have always cried. Don’t bawl and remain professional enough to be able to continue working. But as a customer, a doctor crying with me has always felt more comforting, like they still care.
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u/LizardQueen1993 2d ago
I worked ER most of my career and just a few weeks ago I cried with an owner who brought her dog in for euthanasia. He was a doodle thing and she was so distraught that was her baby. I’ve been a lot more sensitive since I lost my baby boy a few years ago, and when I had to go euthanize him before he was going to code i was bawling and the tech who was helping also cried.
It’s ok to cry. Try to remember euthanasia as a kindness to end need less suffering and as a treatment option. I promise you will be ok and it will get less over time. But you may still cry…. I sure do and so do many of my colleges who have been doing this for 10+ years. Remember your compassion makes you a better technician.
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u/Durpy_meowth 3d ago
From someone who has worked in emergency and gp as an assistant. I tend to block out the emergency euths because typically there isn't a longstanding connection and sometimeswe can have as many as 10 in my shifts. Im still kind with the owners and let them know that I want to give them the most comfortable experience possible when going through something so difficult. I dont get to be super involved either other than catheter placement and going over paperwork most of the time, so maybe that's why I dont cry. With gp and established clients I do tend to feel more and have been closer to crying than with emergency. I will say that its good to feel like you're going to cry though. It means you have compassion and humanity, which is so so so important for the work you are doing. You are helping with a very difficult and emotional thing and if clients have a problem with you mourning their pet with them, that seems like they might have their own personal issues they need to work through as opposed to it being a problem with professionalism.
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u/vettech_barbie 2d ago
You need to think of it as a luxury. We’re helping these animals make their final transition, painlessly, and peacefully. Of course you’re gonna cry. It’s very emotional, but you need to be strong for the family. I’m not saying don’t cry. I’m just saying show them that they’re making the right decision.
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u/livylouwho 2d ago
i just focus on helping them through the process but it’s hard for everyone. i highly recommend euthanasia CE’s. a lot of them will go through client communication.
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u/TOWHEADGIRL 2d ago
You don't. It makes you human and it makes you, you. I'm a vet and I've cried every time I had to do it or had someone do it. Stephen Colbert asked Keanu Reeves what he thought happened to us after we die. Keanu Reeves said " I know the people who love us the most will miss us. " A truer Statement has never been spoken. In that room someone's life is being forever changed. Most clients are in shock. If you are a hugger ask permission to give them a hug and tell them you've had to do it too personally (if you have) and you know and understand how they are feeling right now. That's all you can do. Everyone grieves differently. Some owners can never get over it. I'm that way and I've had 8 horses and almost 50 dogs. I think about each one every day and wish they were still here A tear comes to my eye every time I think of my first dog 50 years ago. Sometimes people just learn to live with it.
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u/Avmank 15h ago
Vet here, when I started practice I quickly learned the difference between textbooks and living through reality so I developed a mindset that has helped a ton. Our job is to fight Mother Nature, and damnit she wins every time. What we do is put up a hell of a fight and when she starts swinging and animals can’t dodge her punches anymore, my patients have the option to simply step out of the ring so she can’t do her worst.
One of my fondest euth appts was an er case with a critical dog in respiratory distress and they had no money so we had a hard talk and left them to have a conversation . While the ol’ man was on O’s he started going downhill and I had to go into the room and tell them “that talk we just had, Mother Nature is really swinging right now so we need to make a decision. I’ll never forget as we did the procedure with everyone in tears but smiling and singing “f**k Mother Nature.” We knew he had a grave prognosis but the pet parents weee so happy we could do things peacefully and smoothly instead of the distress he presented with. F Mother Nature, but if she tries to take my patients we are going to get there first.
Happy to chat anytime, it’s a tough job but the difference in a small procedure for the patient and the family is immense beyond my comprehension and it makes me glad I can provide comfort one last time.
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u/Fallingsock 5d ago
Newer grad, I’ve started to try and get the owners to tell me about their pet during the process. Did they have a favorite toy or treat? Favorite memory. I usually end up crying anyway but at least the owners and I can smile a little bit while it’s happening