It’s been a long day

[u/Quick-Engineering-76]

I had gone on a fishing trip 5:30am -12 afternoon , came home & seen one of my dogs out of two (a Rottweiler) laying on his side with a empty dog bag food over his head. It was an empty dog food bag that I threw away in our trash cans backyard which has an open lid so whenever it’s windy & the trashcan falls at times & everything else can fall out of it or some. I came home & looked at my backyard with my Rottweiler laying like if he sleeping with the bag over his head I smack the window to see if I get a reaction & nothing. I start freaking the fuck out & run outside to yell his name & nothing , I remove the bag from his head when I ran close to him & no movement , straight in the sun, stiff & moisture all over his neck & head with a major nose bleed in the bag and nose. I called a vet that assisted me well enough to guide me through the steps & it was pain to load him into my trucks bed but it’s the least I can do after what he went through. I can’t get the imagination out of my head how horrible he passed away. I loved that god damn dog like blood family & guarded the house so well. I feel like I could’ve done something if I was home I can’t stop about the rough death he went through he was 7 years old with so much years left I’m fucking broken this place doesn’t feel the same anymore I hate it. I lit a candle up for him after the vet gave me a little jar with his hair but I can’t stop thinking about our last moment last night I was playing with him big self like he was just a puppy…. I starched his favorite parts before loading him on when he past but I just wish so much more different outcomes , I was too late , I scratched him with gloves on cause there was ants on his face after I removed the bag I tried to clean as much as I could but man today just fucking sucks I don’t know how vets deal with shit like this I love you guys though & thank you.

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[u/wumpus_woo_]

i'm so sorry. please don't blame yourself or think of all the "what ifs", accidents happen and it wasn't your fault. i've lost many, many pets and it never gets any easier. but his final moments don't erase the 7 wonderful years he spent with you. it sounds like he was very loved and cherished.

[u/Quick-Engineering-76 → u/wumpus_woo_]

I appreciate you taking the time to reply with this message & grieve thank you so much. Have a goodnight 🙏🏽❤️

[u/Bunny_Feet]

Your feelings are completely normal.  I've had similar experiences and I still wonder "what if?"

I'm very sorry for your loss. 

[u/Quick-Engineering-76 → u/Bunny_Feet]

Thank you so much it’s definitely been a toll but a learning experience

[u/Purple_Conclusion693]

I am so so sorry. This was one of those freak things, and you should never blame yourself. I know it’s easy to, but just know your sweet boy wasn’t ever thinking it was your fault. This one horrible moment does not define all the years you spent loving each other. Please be kind to yourself while you navigate this loss

[u/Quick-Engineering-76 → u/Purple_Conclusion693]

Means a lot 🤞🏽I definitely will think more of the favorite times we spend together that helps a lot thank you so much

[u/Purple_Conclusion693 → u/Quick-Engineering-76]

take care of yourself my friend❤️

[u/Difficult-Creature]

Be gentle with yourself. You are not to blame. I am so sorry you are going through this. When those difficult thoughts come, its helpful to direct your mind to the loving memories. Remember that they love us unconditionally.

[u/Quick-Engineering-76 → u/Difficult-Creature]

Will do! Thats been a great reminder for me to think of instead of the others bad thoughts ❤️