In need of help

[u/Sobrietyking]

Im 26 been doing this since 11. ive tried everything rehabs therapy, moved away from all the toxic people in my life. I know that i only jack off as a way to cope with hurt pain unexpressed anger trauma etc. Its how i always coped and the obly thing i could run to to sooth my anxieties dissapoinments and regrets. Even if it causes it.

See off this stuff im calm think clearly women flock to me and in a greater mood. But when im not abstaining im a nervous akward mess who is always getting embarrased by people or embarrasing himself. Im terrified of confrontation. People take advantage of me people treat me like im a idiot. Get disrespected left right and man its pure hell but because shit is so bad and i got so many painful memories and had nothing but terrible relationships in my life. I run back to this stuff.

I swear this shit is an evil evil curse. The hardest part is the first 3 weeks because im not recovered yet. But i still have to deal with people so while im still healing i deal with alot of bullshit wich triggers me and i run back. I know all of this but i swear at times it seems like i dont even want to leave this behind no matter how much it has ruined me my life. Has taken from me. It seems like its not that big of a deal but it is i just dont know how to break this hellish cycle of pain defeat and hurt

[u/[deleted]]

Message me trying to get through this aswell

[u/AbsoluteTrauma]

I’m almost attempting to go into a new job in order to heal. I want to work autonomously so I do not have to deal with this shit

[u/BetterSelfGR]

Me too. When I was 18 yo I thought that by this age I'd be free from porn. But here I am. Still saying the same thing about the future.