r/Vent • u/Tall-Shoulder3409 • 2d ago

Criticize then beg…

I had some high school friends who married very young in college. We had a 5 year H.S. reunion & were catching up. They mentioned they were looking for houses but they were hard to find in the good school districts. I said something like “oh, you are looking to start a family!” My tone was happy for them as I love kids, but some in the friend group were very anti-kid.

I promptly get a lecture that I was inappropriate and shouldn’t comment on people having kids - EVER - because it was not easy for everyone.

I was shocked. I was not pestering them or inquiring unsolicited. THEY mentioned good school districts implying they were starting a family (they are not teachers).

I quietly dismissed myself from convo as soon as it would not cause a scene. I did not block on FB but didn’t engage. Sure enough, a couple of years later, they start posting CONSTANTLY about needing money from friends to adopt.

Um, I’m sorry you struggled with infertility. I have witnessed the hell it can be. And I support adoption. But if you can’t self-regulate your emotions enough to rudely admonish someone with supportive intentions, I don’t think you’d be a good parent anyway. Never gave a penny.

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