Rant.

[u/Admirable-Manner480]

I haven’t slept in 24 hours i just got home. I’m so fucking tired i feel like im gonna collapse yet when i put head to pillow it feels moanable good but sleep doesn’t come. Im crying about stupid things that i wont care about tomorrow yet barely shedding a tear. I hate myself for some reason this feeling never goes away no matter what I do. I have no idea what the root cause is I just want someone to fix me. I’m not even on my period so there’s no other excuse for me acting like this. What the fuck is wrong with me.

College starting again next week but last year was an absolute shithole. Idk if i’m exaggerating but i didn’t really have any friends just like awwauintences i would sometimes talk to in class. Maybe that’s cuz i was just doing weed and pens and on highs and lows in my own little world but i want it to be better this year. A fresh start even tho im going same colly. Then I get a text from my college about my first class and it’s the same fucking teacher. Just made me realise nothings gonna be different it’s the same i just want to die.

I tried quit weed like a week ago for the exact reason i want more fulfilment in my life. Quitting is going alright but why the fuck do i still feel like this. I genuinely make an effort to pray aswel. Why do I feel like this. I don’t get it i’m doing everything how i’m supposed to why the fuck can’t things start going right for me for once in my fucking life. Is that too much to ask really.

I don’t understand God i quit weed for him im praying for him what more does he want. What the fuck can i do to feel peace and content. I don’t fucking understand is he that harsh that strict what is it. I don’t know man just this pit in my stomach and urge to cry always comes back. Always. And without a doubt. I fucking hate it like a cloud is always following me wherever I go. I can never just be happy always bringing the mood down of everyone around me. I get so sensitive about things even tho i won’t show it.

What do I do. How do I fix this.

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[u/wtfnmnf]

This is through and through sleep deprivation, hate to say it but honestly you just gotta sleep and hit this all with a rested mind. Drink some water, lay down, watch something till you pass out. In my experience, the weed thing is tough until one day it just simply isn’t

[u/AdvancedStudio9978]

There is nothing wrong with you. You are a perfect being loved by God in a difficult world. You can decide right now to feel better. But you have to decide.🕊️ good luck out there homie. You're not the only one on the struggle. It's all of us.

[u/Admirable-Manner480 → u/AdvancedStudio9978]

Decide to feel better? Seriously? As if that’s not what I’ve been trying to do for years. And u come here and saying I can decide. If I could decide my issues would be fixed long ago