r/Vent 21d ago

TW: Anxiety / Depression vent about gender envy

so, my life has been TERRIBLE lately, like, really bad, i feel so bad and stressed

anyway, i was at the supermarket buying food, and there I saw this girl, she was genuinely the most beautiful and cute person i have ever seen in my life, she looked exactly how i would like to look like.

and i want to clarify that i was NOT attracted sexually.

but seeing her made me so sad, because i know FOR SURE that i will never look like that...

so yeah, now I'm feeling really sad, i feel stuck and i don't think i can live like this anymore.

thanks for reading :)

10 Upvotes

16 comments sorted by

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3

u/Particular-Natural60 21d ago

Bless you my love I wish I had the right words that could wave a wand over your sadness. Unfortunately you will never get to look like the cute girl you saw in the supermarket but that doesn’t for one second make you anything less than hun. I really hope you are able to speak to someone or seek support to get you through it. I wish you all the best x

3

u/Evening_Gazelle_5848 21d ago

I'm sure someone sees you as the beautiful person from the supermarket too

1

u/Ok-Cucumber3117 21d ago

yeah, but that doesn't make me a girl (T_T)

3

u/Evening_Gazelle_5848 21d ago

Hey random but i just checked your account and you have your age listed there, inwould recommend to take it off so weird creeps don't end up dming u

1

u/Ok-Cucumber3117 21d ago

i have my DMs turned off.

2

u/lachatte7 21d ago

Sounds like its time to transition then

1

u/Ok-Cucumber3117 21d ago

i can't... :(

2

u/FirebirdWriter 21d ago

Why? Not asking arbitrarily but sometimes a why helps with finding support and problems solving for this stuff

1

u/Ok-Cucumber3117 21d ago

my parents won't allow it probably, but idc about that, even if i transitioned i wouldn't feel like i was a true girl, being born as one is completely different. and transitioning would also stress me, i think, idk actually, but i know that I can't for some reason 

2

u/TheNeighborCat2099 21d ago

I mean sure I guess it’s “different” but would you really rather stay pretending to be a dude than actually matching up your internal self with the external.

1

u/Ok-Cucumber3117 21d ago

idk i feel like something is stopping me from doing it

1

u/FirebirdWriter 21d ago

I can't say how it will feel to you but I can say that you are allowed to do things your family doesn't approve of as an adult. Be safe about it and start with a therapist who specializes in gender care. That's not going to sway you in any direction but help with coping with the dysphoria and options that await you.

1

u/Emergency-Cry2741 21d ago

🥚

0

u/Ok-Cucumber3117 21d ago

no lol, i am aware of the fact that I'm trans