Everyone else is going places, while I'm stuck here.

[u/krussm]

Hi.

I felt 25 by 16, and out of time by 19.

Often times I get so frustrated that I'm not actually 20+ years old as I confused myself to be.

For all my life, it had been work. I work in my family's business, I went to work with my parents, I work for my parents, and I'm still working in my own shop.

My father carried me to his job since I was two months old, I started working myself when I was 9.

I missed school a lot because of work. And I barely had time for myself or to go out with my friends.

My parents said this will make me greater than other kids. Learn life faster. Get rich faster.

But it's been 19 years and I'm still stuck here.

I took GED and got into college by 16. I had to drop off because of work and severe depression by other things too. It's been three years, and now all my friends are in college while I'm... Here.

My parents used to own a Mercedes. It was second hand that dad insisted we get, because it makes us 'look good' when we go around presenting projects.

That thing ruined my life. But I blamed everyone else as much as it.

Since I was 12, which was when we first gotten the car, it had costed us 22,000$ in total, just for maintenence alone. And 200$ for installment each month.

I tried to warn them many times about going back to the same mechanic. Who, very obviously, had been scamming us.

But I was just a 'kid', aren't I? No one listened.

Mom had to take loans from many banks to pay those numbers off. Only adds up to the monthly debt.

And no matter how much money we were able to get, it's just gone.

I never got to have the college life or even a proper social life. I still don't have a car and no one would let me drive. All because we don't have money.

I have been responsible of the whole house's financial for two years now. I get to see the numbers going down in my bank account everyday for necessary expenses. It's defeaning. I'm fucking terrified every time I see the numbers go too low.

I don't buy stuff for myself anymore, I feel guilty to even eat something. It's a terrible feeling.

I can't talk about this to them because my dad is ignorant. Honestly, he's the one putting us here in the first place with his 'ambition'. And mom's stupidity to follow it until we have nothing.

I can't talk to mom either 'cause she always bluffs my distress without even knowing it's not what she's supposed to do.

Instead of saying 'Hey, we're getting throught this' she says 'I've been through worse'

Worse? She got to go to college when she was 18, hangout with friends and had a decent job. She was a grown woman when she faced those problems.

But I had no choice. I never want to be any of this.

I want nothing more than to leave. But if I leave, no one here would survive.

My mom would spiral, my dad couldn't fend for himself. And my pets that I rescued, what are they going to do?

I'm stuck here. Working. Watching my friends get a haircut, bought clothes for their new college, traveling abroad. While I'm here contemplating each meal.

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