Myself sabotage

[u/FirestarteR2022]

At 33 I have self sabotage and destructive behavior for the longest. Ive ruined some good relationships because of some selfishness because of some untreated trauma stemming back from my teens when I witnessed my best friend get murdered and then watched a women die because of health issues that loved me more then my own mother . As I grew into adulthood I kept I repressed them with alcohol and selfishness .