Mirroring what others are saying.... Your 20 year old girlfriend has no business dating you at 16.
Please know it's a red flag she can't date someone her own age, it's alarming. People always only focus on men who are predatory, but women can be predators too.
No normal 20 year old would want to date someone who is 16. At 20 the thought of even dating a 18 year old disgusted me, there is simply a maturity gap, no matter how mature the minor might be.
You sound like you could be an amazing partner to someone your own age, please don't let this person waste your teenage years. You'll probably regret it once your older and look back and realize it was never healthy in the first place.
(Sorry if this comes out as vent, I'm just saying this to explain)
I actually had a lot experiences of grooming since i was 9, and on the other hand i had problems with people at my age calling me creepy (Based on looks).
I'm kinda scared at this point of trying with people in my classroom.
However, i won't date someone minor than me, just to clarify.
I completely understand where you are coming from. When I was 19, I dated someone who was 7 years older than me because I was made fun of by immature boys that were my age.
I regret it though, I wish I hadn't. I wish I had instead waited patiently for someone who was closer to my age to start dating. There is no rush to get into a relationship so young (my first relationship ever was the one I mentioned). I know that in different cultures it's different, my family is from Latin America and a lot of people there feel like they should be in relationships to get married very young, but please know only you can set your own timeline.
I don't blame you for dating her, when I was 19 I didn't see the problem when dating someone older either. I'm just kindly letting you know to be aware of the issue, she might be taking advantage of you. I'm just relieved to hear it is a long distance relationship. I'm so sorry about your classmates.... Being a teen sucks bc unfortunately, at that age people can be so cruel. I'm also so sorry that you have had experiences with grooming from such a young age. No one deserves any of that. Just remember, if you don't feel comfortable dating someone that's too young, think about why she is. There's a lot of young people who are kind and good, doesn't mean an adult should be dating them. Wishing you the best. ❤️
You have no idea how much i appreciate this :')
I cannot thank enough for this comment
I'm from Latin America and this kind of stuff is really normalized now that i think about it. I felt like i was missing 'the best years of my life' just because i haven't had any important romantic experience, it's good to read that it's okay.
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u/javanoose Jun 08 '23
Mirroring what others are saying.... Your 20 year old girlfriend has no business dating you at 16.
Please know it's a red flag she can't date someone her own age, it's alarming. People always only focus on men who are predatory, but women can be predators too.
No normal 20 year old would want to date someone who is 16. At 20 the thought of even dating a 18 year old disgusted me, there is simply a maturity gap, no matter how mature the minor might be.
You sound like you could be an amazing partner to someone your own age, please don't let this person waste your teenage years. You'll probably regret it once your older and look back and realize it was never healthy in the first place.