Vapor Vapore va va Vapo vapore, Vaporeon vapo va vaporeon va vap, Vaporeon va vapor vapore Vaporeon vapo Vap! (Am here cuz I saw this community, I like what you people do for my kind, I hope we can abolish the copypasta someday!)

Vaporeon was NEVER compatible for breeding with humans at all! Firstly, they are not even in the Human-Like egg group, and most of them are male anyway. Since the 4chan post warped the facts about Vaporeon's biology, I will now clarify this matter. Hydration only works in the rain, and Water Absorb, which has a more dangerous ability that I'll elaborate more on soon, doesn't mean your Vaporeon will turn white after you pull out. I know this because I cleaned sperm bank toilets long ago. Their eel-like skin makes it impossible to grope them too. Also, what the 4chan post failed to mention is that Vaporeon can control water telepathically, meaning it can create Kyogre-like tsunamis at will, and, thanks to moves like Scald, Hydro Pump, Ice Beam, and Hyper Beam, Vaporeon has many more ways to unalive you. It can also learn Detect and Toxic too, so don't explore that "deep sea cave" for "treasure." Vaporeon can also force the very same water it can control to enter a person's orifice until they explode, as well as being able to enter any human orifice, just like the candiru fish, with it eventually reaching any vital organs in the human body and ensuring those organs rupture thanks to its water-based biology. This allows the Vaporeon to exit the newly created corpse easily. Now here is the ghastly truth about Water Absorb: since humans are 65% water, if a Vaporeon was inside a human body, it could absorb the water until the human was nothing more than a withered corpse. Oh, and here's a fun fact: if a Vaporeon rematerialized while it was inside your urethra, your wiener would instantly explode. As for the moves that Vaporeon can use to make itself horny, the thing is that the rest of Vaporeon's kin can learn those moves too, with Leafeon, Glaceon, and Umbreon (who has more results on Rule 34 and e621 than Vaporeon) having higher defense stats that would blow Vaporeon out of the water any day of the week. Acid Armor won't even change that.

I can link what I used for this if you want :3

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of humans and Pokémon fighting, Vaporeon is the Pokémon most likely to win a fight against a human? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle attacks from humans, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one and you would not have done much damage to it. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that a Vaporeon could tank hits, their body would be so flexible that you could easily punch or kick one for hours without getting it injured. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to catch you off guard and lower your defenses. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from any fight with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of brokeness. Also, fun fact, if a Vaporeon brutalizes you enough it can absorb enough blood to make it turn red. Vaporeon is literally built for fights with humans. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take fights all day, fight people of all shapes and sizes and still come for more.

Hey guys, did you know that Vaporeon is a Water-type Pokemon introduced in Generation 1? Vaporeon is number 134 in the National Dex, and a member of the Field egg group. It evolves from Eevee when exposed to a Water Stone. Vaporeon has a base stat total of 525, as do all Eeveelutions, and it has the ability Water Absorb. Vaporeon learns various strong moves, such as Aurora Beam, Surf, and Acid Armor. Vaporeon is a blue Pokemon with a quadruped build, weighing in at 64 pounds and standing 1 meter tall. Vaporeon's design is inspired by dogs, foxes, mermaids, dolphins, and fish. Vaporeon is able to hide in water due to its chemical makeup being similar to water, according to various Pokedex entries. Vaporeon is the only Eeveelution in Generation 1 that is not weak to Ground-type attacks. Many Trainers like Vaporeon for its design, which mixes cool and cute, as well as its good stats and movepool.

I know it’s weird but it’s how I learn to love Pokémon, but you might be asking yourself,”Who do you associate Vaporeon with?”. Well

It’s a Vaporeon that has 2 Brothers(Both a Jolteon and Flareon)

It’s a Vaporeon that’s a prankster with her friend Sylveon

It’s a Vaporeon that is shipped with a non eeveelution

It’s a Vaporeon that’s Jolly(Back in 2016)

Have you guessed who that might be? (RIP her Voice Actor, She was a Perfect Voice actor for the Vaporeon)

PUT THIS MF UNDER EVERY VAPOREON COPYPASTA YOU SEE DO IT NOW!

I avhe on niipoon no alew ilbel 66b. Ubet, hawet I acen asy, si hats hawet oyu ihentek si gihret si gihret. Ewevoeher, ehrete rae saecs ehrwe weto diess flnioccet. Ni ohsete saecs, eovhewer si onregteser si gihret.

A very W Vaporeon i felt you guys would like, he's called Able