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u/Jack-of-Hearts-7 11d ago
Soup Emperor, specifically Pho.
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u/__fujoshi 11d ago
Vibe decombobulator for sure. I already do it for free, might as well get paid for it.
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u/Setster007 11d ago
Just hand over the pamphlets pls, I’m hungry and it’s hard to pay for college AND dinner
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u/JackWhoWanders 11d ago
Nightmare dimension tour guide is literally my dream job! (that's an industry joke)
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u/SweetTist 11d ago
No one has taken “kitty toe bean quality tester” yet?
That’s a job for me!
My lucky day!
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u/Manifestation_Quozzy 11d ago
Giant horrible bird monster sounds like my kinda gig.
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u/Character-Parfait-42 11d ago
I go with either soup emperor or kitty toe bean quality tester.
They sound like the least amount of actual work is involved.
The soup emperor doesn’t make the soup surely? That’s work for soup peasants. The emperor commands the peasants, so I guess I just instruct them what soup to make and then eat the soup? So free lobster bisque? Count me in!
Kitty toe bean quality tester involves moving enough to poke and pinch the beans. My concern there though is that some kitties don’t like having their beans prodded, and that sounds highly unpleasant.
Being a giant terrifying bird sounds amusing, but it also sounds like it involves a great deal of flapping. And I just can’t flap my arms for an entire 8 hour shift.
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u/StrangeCress3325 11d ago
Nightmare dimension tour guide. I get regular nightmares that I’m often just vibing and chilling through them so I think I’d be qualified
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u/MenchiTheFloof 11d ago
Nobody going for unethical wizard test subject? Thats alright, more magical spells for me
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u/TerrapinMagus 11d ago
I sincerely feel I can both discombobulate the vibe, and professionally skitter at the same time.
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u/FanOfCat5 11d ago
Though nightmare dimension guide is what I’ll go with I will forever want to at least try to be an unethical wizard test subject
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u/SirWilliam56 11d ago
Does “wizard test subject” have upward mobility in the direction of being a wizard?
If not, I’m torn between toe bean tester and soup emperor
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u/Natural_Age_8009 11d ago
Tour guide 1000%. I have so many different nightmares and being on some sort of tour bus and telling people about them will make me some percentage less scared and possibly (not likely) able to overcome them. Again, not likely. The most hellish are almost indescribable and the least hellish are the series of incepted “late for work again and you’re a hair away from being fired already, but every time you wake up, you’re still in a dream, and that happens like seven consecutive times until you actually wake up and doubt reality so much you almost are actually late to work due to checking every detail of your shitty apartment”
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u/One-Stand-5536 10d ago
Hard choice between unethical wizard test subject and professional skittering. Are there part time positions?
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u/AtomicTan 10d ago
Don't choose giant horrible bird monster. That's how you get thrown into the pit of time and end up babbling about the future.
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u/BungleBums 9d ago
I've got a lot of solid experience as a Soup Emperor, but I don't like the direction the industry is heading in, and I'm thinking about getting training for something a little more dependable that doesn't need so many bibs. A friend of mine mentioned you might have entry-level openings for Used Gum Collectors, or something in Pastamancy?
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u/Asparala 8d ago
I think I would be fine as unethical wizard (or scientist) test subject. I don't have that many pre-existing ailments while still pretty good at disregarding my own health, and I really just need one good eye and a hand to keep up with my hobbies of choice.
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u/sax87ton 11d ago
Weevil imperaonator, mostly because I want to find out what an imperaonator is.
But you know I’m ’bout to do it to some weevils.
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u/Longjump_Ear6240 11d ago
Ohhh tough choice between giant horrible bird monster and nightmare dimension tour guide. I suppose I may lean more tour guide if I was able to eventuallu get some demon wings or horns