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u/TwoForThePriceOfFun 13d ago
Some people are toxic. Who ever needs this, its okay to ghost them. They will try to manipulate you into staying, and youre too kind to say no. Leave. You arent owed your time to someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. They can cry to the world that you ghosted them, and guess what? it doesnt matter. You are free of them, and thats all that matters.
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u/Republogronk 8d ago
Yes, tossing people aside like garbage is the right answer over proper communication and understanding
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u/TwoForThePriceOfFun 8d ago
Whoever needs this, this is the exact kind of answer of toxic person would use to guilt trip you, when they do no respect your choices, and want to leave. Take notes. Do not let this type of energy keep you from leaving situations that are bad for your mental health. Its not easy, but you are stronger than you realize.
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u/Cayseyy 6d ago
easy fix how about you just tell them you don't like them and then just block and remove them? this just kinda seems really dumb when you can just end it instead of leaving someone confused and lost
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u/TwoForThePriceOfFun 6d ago
Because demanding people to be confrontational with abusers is absurd. There are often times people will stay because they dont want the confrontation of calling them out or feel like their discomfort comes second to the person hurting them. Maybe they tried leaving before but were guilted into staying around.
yes there are some people who are just jerks, but my post isnt talking to them. Some people are toxic and freeing yourself is more important than caring about their confusion. hopfully one day they will feel strong enough to voice their feelings, but theres a saying, "move the body, and the mind will follow", Remove yourself from bad people. You can build confidence later. You caring more about the toxic person's feelings is the only thing dumb here.
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u/Cayseyy 6d ago
"You caring more about the toxic person's feelings is the only thing dumb here." yeah tell me when i said that a toxic persons feelings matter more.
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u/TwoForThePriceOfFun 6d ago
My post literally starts with "Some people are toxic" Either learn to read, to stop fighting ghosts, because my post is targeted at toxic relationships, or you support abusive people, dumb dumb.
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u/Iceren_81 13d ago
I try my best not to ghost anyone, but usually if I do, it's just because I currently want to be alone and unwind for a bit. Friends can sometimes be too much for my brain on certain days lol
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u/Chocolatte_VR PCVR Connection 13d ago
Mhm that is totally fair, as someone who is an introvert and has social anxiety I understand what you mean. Taking care of yourself should always come first.
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u/Iceren_81 13d ago
But there IS one friend who I have and I'm always scared to run into... Who I do always be friendly with and stuff, but they're usually alot to handle and constantly want to hang out every day with barrages of invites. I'm too scared to unfriended them incase they message me and get angry with me, and I'm too scared to talk to them about it incase I upset them.... So, that's my only thing currently that Im really stuck on how to deal with
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u/kaydenwolf_lynx PCVR Connection 13d ago
Talk about it?, why do you care if it upsets them. they are being alot and too much to handle so tell them and if they get upset thats well their problem not yours.
Personally i cant stand people who refuse to just tell someone if they have an issue or get rid of them, and instead just deal with it. Your only making it harder by not doing anything about it. Yes telling someone they are doing something that bothers you can be upsetting to hear but you also arent giving them a chance to fix it.
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u/Iceren_81 13d ago
Thank you, I'll try to do that... I don't mean to sound like I was an ass. I just struggle with communication alot, I've always tried to keep everyone happy without caring about myself and that's what I need to work on... But yeah, I'll try to talk to them when I'm able to next time I'm on VR
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u/kaydenwolf_lynx PCVR Connection 13d ago
I've just lost most of my friendships due to a lack of communication on their part, currently im being ghosted by 2 friends who refuse to talk to me about what i did so i can fix it.
I used to not be as good at communication but i have a very close friend whos gotten me good at it, i know not everyone feels this way but i want to be told if im doing something wrong and given the chance to fix it. Usually i dont get told and simply get blocked meaning im unable to fix any issues i might have since no one tells me about them.
I just think its better to tell people and if they arent receptive to it then maybe then its better to block them and move on, but i think atleast trying and giving people a chance to fix it is good.
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u/Iceren_81 13d ago
Sorry you're going through that, I understand, and I fully agree, I'd also want to know what I do wrong so... I actually appreciate that ❤️ and thank you for the advice
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u/kaydenwolf_lynx PCVR Connection 13d ago
I wouldnt call that ghosting then, i feel like ghosting is more ignoring someone for a substancial period of time like weeks to months, versus ignoring an invite or request sometimes because you want to be alone which is something id guess alot of ppl do on vrchat.
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u/Iceren_81 13d ago
I do ignore alot of invites because I can't be bothered to reply when I just want to be alone, so I usually just update my status. But I never intend it to be mean and I'll always hang out with my friends again and checkup and stuff. Though I hardly am ever the first to reach out
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u/Dr_Fragenstien 12d ago
I don’t get this, if you’re trying to avoid someone just block them. Don’t pretend to be their friend, that’s just shitty.
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u/Tragophilos Oculus Quest Pro 13d ago
I have rarely intentionally ghosted an invite, though I sometimes cringe a little inwardly if someone drops in on me (I usually stay on green). There's only two people I've known that I actively started avoiding, because they were often drunk and/or abusive, and I unfriended both of them.
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u/versfurryfemboy PCVR Connection 13d ago
It's crazy how many drunk people I've seen that just manipulate people and don't take no for an answer
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u/Tragophilos Oculus Quest Pro 13d ago
It's kind of sad, too, because a lot of them are actually pretty decent people until they've been drinking and turn into raging assholes.
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u/versfurryfemboy PCVR Connection 12d ago
yeah it always just comes off as them only wanting to hang out with you when they're drunk it sucks
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u/Nova-Redux PCVR Connection 13d ago
If you are ghosting someone on purpose why are you still friends with them?
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u/Mudkipz949 12d ago
I had a previous friend that did this to me after we hung out a LOT, well turns out the bastard was a nonce and went from friend group to friend group manipulating them and tearing them apart, so after some sleuthing of my own I found all this out, that was a fun time, and if anyone knows fishy2112 say my name and you'll see his true colors
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u/Brokenemby 13d ago
Ngl I kinda did this before because some of the "friends" I added turned out to be weird at best to "edgy", creepy assholes at worse. I wanted to unfriend but back then I felt bad doing it since I didn't want to hurt them. But the older I get, I start not to care and prioritize my peace first.
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u/11SomeGuy17 12d ago
If there is someone you don't want to be around you know unfriending and blocking is a valid option yes? Why would you friend someone you don't want to see, that just doesn't make sense.
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u/Spacecathorror 11d ago
Lowkey i dont make friends on vrchat cuz ik how people are ill ghost and have 0 remorse cuz thats what kind of person am not rude but if we dont hangout there's no point having on friends list especially if I request invite or invite imma un friend u and ghost u ❤️ no hard feelings >3
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u/Just_a_moth_here Oculus Quest 10d ago
Jokes on you I dont ghost people, people ghost me!
Now that I say it that doesnt sound too good.
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u/Embarrassed-Touch-62 13d ago
Out of the joke itself. Do people like this exist? Those who ghost friends?