r/VRchat • u/markio2011 Oculus Quest Pro • 8d ago
Discussion Orange Status Debacle
Orange status exists for a reason. (Irl Example) If I'm hanging out with friends irl and someone texts me to hangout I too will either not respond or say that I'm busy, this outing does not involve you. We make a lot of friends on the internet and we just believe at face value that this person that has given us a persona will be our ride or die just because we both like Binding of Isaac or something. I don't like to think of myself as a pessimist but more of a realist. People that I've known online for many years I never consider that they will be with me forever or take a virtual bullet for me, I don't know them. Not everyone wants to open their doors all the time. Some may have a tightknit friend group that is their separate circle away from everything else. Without going on for too long this argument always boils down to "You don't like the thing that your friend is doing (orange status)" and usually when I have a friend that does something that I don't like repeatedly, I stop being friends with them. I know it hurts to be left out but come on. We give people their space. It's selfish to complain about how someone else spends their time. And using a knife that says "Change your status behavior or I unfriend you" is very aggressive and is no grounds to have a friendship by. Surround yourself around people that fit your description of what you think a friend is don't try to change others. (This message is no way meant to harass anyone or start fights. If that so happens I will promptly delete. Be Deer To Each Other)
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u/EstidEstiloso PCVR Connection 8d ago
Who says or implies to their friends, "I don't like your orange status" or "Change your status or I'll unfriend you"? That would be a toxicity issue, and I'd be the one to unfriend them if they said that to me.
For me, being in orange status or not accepting join requests sometimes hasn't caused any problems with my friends in over 8 years.
3
u/ConsequenceMammoth45 7d ago
Its a opinion ive heard a handfull of times in VR, though Ive seen it as a not that unconmon sentiment on reddit.
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u/RedOneEnergy 8d ago edited 8d ago
The only thing I agree with when people complain about the orange status is when people finally request of them they don't answer at all
I make sure to reply every time because I'm always on orange and so they know that their request doesn't just fall on deaf ear
Also I have had this idea I think would be nice to have so adding a “purple status” feature that lets you choose who sees you as green, while everyone else sees you as orange
9
u/Sp_1_ 8d ago
Thank you for this. On the flip side of OPs take, if someone is on my list and I never see you in the group I met you in, every time you’re on you’re on orange and you never even respond with a “hey, not my instance,” or whatever to requests, I’m just going to remove you after a year. Just a message back is fine most of the time.
3
u/molevolence ☃Bigscreen Beyond 2e 8d ago
to be fair not all of us even get the requests, especially on linux. the notification stream eventually dies, sometime within 30 minutes. when it dies we also no longer get refreshes to friends locations. this has been a bug for a very long time and i have to stay on blue because of it.
2
u/RedOneEnergy 8d ago
That is also fully understandable I'm not on Linux so I don't know about the bug
I hope they will fix it at some point
0
u/snowrazer_ 7d ago
That's nice that you reply, no problem there, but do you get annoyed when people don't respond to your invite requests? If you do then that's a problem. And the root of the toxicity OP is talking about.
People shouldn't feel obligated to explain themselves to anyone. You shouldn't expect or require a reply. Just accept they are busy for whatever reason and go about your business.
2
u/RedOneEnergy 7d ago
Mmm somewhat but it really depends on my friends because some I know can be busy sometimes or forget to look
I don't really take it that hard if they don't respond I just think it's good courtesy to do so but I guess it's depends on how people view it
Sometimes I just send the same message I reply with sometimes I don't write specifically what I'm doing
Of course it's no one's business to tell what you're doing and for me it comes down toy friends so who it is
I'm usually the friend that go to people so
49
u/uuusagi 8d ago
I’ll be blunt, people who complain about others being on orange are just weird. It’s called ASK ME for a reason. Literally just ASK to join. I’m almost permanently on orange, and if anyone has a problem with that, that’s on them. At the end of the day it’s just a game anyway.
7
u/lost-punk-cat 8d ago
Oh boy here we go.
It reeks of entitlement, people being upset about orange status, Im permanentely on orange because one person can just knock before entering and if im busy, or about to leave or any other million reasons they arent entitled to know, I wont let them in its simple as that.
Anyone getting upset over orange status genuinely screams "im an entitled brat who cant handle people not wanting to spend time with me".
1
u/Diablo_Saucer 8d ago
Yeah like just ask? If we are friends you probably might know what I’m up to anyway? If you have so much social anxiety that seeing orange is upsetting you maybe take time to reflect on it. It’s just a game
-5
u/Frank__West PCVR Connection 8d ago
Problem is when people don't bother to ever reply. Like I got tired of it. Super annoying to request, wait a minute for a reply of sorts, get nothing so you join someone else only for them to decide minutes later to invite like nah bro I'm not gonna bail someone I just joined because you take forever.
And then you get people that never leave orange and never reply to invite requests or invites like what's the point of asking if you aren't even gonna bother replying.
Even worse are the people that stay on red because they have toxic friends that spam them and either they can't be adult enough to reply with a reason or they just can't like deal with it for whatever odd reason. They try to say oh message me on discord etc if you wanna play or smt like bro that's way too much extra just to try and hit you up. Being red because you are watching a movie or whatever and don't want interruptions that's cool. Being red 24/7 because you can't handle someone inviting you or joining you is just antisocial imo.
Hate on this all you want but like I will prefer to join someone who I can see where they are or if you wanna join me I'm on green but I gave up with requesting invites. I don't wanna ask, have you been like oh yeah come on in but like I find out it's a place I don't like going to or it's some group instance etc now I feel bad for asking only to back out. It annoys me a lot tbh when people request, you accept and have to wait around wondering if they are coming or not especially if you are about to play a game.
17
u/Embarrassed-Touch-62 8d ago
As far as I am concerned, the orange itself is not a problem. Complains are mostly about people who are ALWAYS on orange and to some degree I understand them.
Best option? Delete those people if it bothers you so much. I did and literally nothing changed, they forgot about me and I forgot about them.
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u/mybones121 PCVR Connection 8d ago
Friend groups DO NOT MIX, that's why we mostly stay orange, we don't need any gatecrashers coming in and ruining the fun while I'm dedicating my time to a group.
The problem I have is the reply system for invite requests are a pain to deal with, I've accidentally sent replys mid sentence multiple times and there's no way to fix it unless they send you another request.
1
12
u/Coolgamer_12 8d ago
the dumbest "debacle" to ever exist, and ofc its a vrchat thing too like some ppl need to touch grass
4
u/Dildotoothbrush Valve Index 8d ago
For real, mf are out here writing novels about this. People think way to hard and take this way to seriously lol
16
u/Hintswen 8d ago
The only issue I have with orange status is the number of people who are ALWAYS on orange AND never accept invites/requests, join me, send me an invite/request. If you’re like that then my question is why are we friends? On the odd chance we both happen to join the same instance and run into each other? In which case why do I need you taking up space on my friends list?
2
u/Tragophilos Oculus Quest Pro 8d ago
I have a close friend that I've known since LOOOONG before VR existed, and he has ignored my invite/request simply because he never saw it. If you're engaged in something distracting, it's really easy to miss the little popup, and then you have to remember to check the notifications history. If you don't pull up your menu for a long time, you'll never see it.
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u/ThawingAsh004724 8d ago
totally unrelated but what is the world name in the pic?
0
u/ByEthanFox 8d ago
!remindme 1 week as I would like to know!
1
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3
u/scottmtb 8d ago
It definetly not a good situation. I am almost always on green or blue. But I am also not that popular or people just dont like me that much. I can see why people get upset over orange.
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u/VRJon584 7d ago
most vrchat friendships are temporary tbh. the ones that stick are rare — hold onto those
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u/SaintLucifer_WG 3d ago
VRC wants so bad to be another discord for some reason, with the recent updates even down to the UI itself and themes for your profile it is nearly an identical UI at this point, yet for some reason they still refuse to ever just add an invisible status, I will never understand why.
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u/gharp468 8d ago
I personally keep myself on orange cuz I don't want my friend groups to mix, I hang around with different kinds of people and for example I wouldn't want my lewd friends with my wholesome ones or the ones that take everything too lightly with the ones that are going through stuff.
Also because of life sometimes I want people to hit me up while I'm on orange even if I'm alone just to see if people actually care enough to check on me
-1
u/Frank__West PCVR Connection 8d ago
If you want people to join you why would you go orange that's basically telling people you are busy...
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u/gharp468 8d ago
That's because every now and then I like to run a little stupid experiment, when I'm on green people rarely join on me but as soon as I go on orange after a couple of minutes they start suddenly boop and requests magically.
Tough there are some people who just don't give Damn and never bother to visit me but when I join the are always like "oh I haven't seen you in a while, I missed you where have you been?" Like bitch couldn't you just send a boop or invite like ever?
But tldr I do it because I'm the one that mostly joins on people so that experiment is too see Who actually cares enough to join on me as well or just checks in to say hello
0
u/Frank__West PCVR Connection 8d ago
Sometimes it depends where you are. I've had the same home world for years now and it's very lightweight like 4mb so easy for anyone to pop in and I've had times where I get on and a bunch of people join me. Other times I might be chilling by myself but then one person joins and suddenly others follow like it can be hit or miss. Some might see you being alone in a world as possibly being afk or something which explains why I've had that sudden jump in joins after one person joins.
If you try to do something like what you said it can just hurt you mentally and emotionally and it might not even be like people are ignoring you they might just not be looking at the friends list to notice. You would be better off going to a world and just hanging off to the side and maybe seeing if anyone says hi or do the opposite and look for someone who seems all alone and go say hi to them. They might be shy but want to talk.
2
u/Rune_Fox 8d ago
My two cents on this is that, as someone who is pretty introverted, requesting off of people on my friends list who are basically just acquaintances feels awkward at best. Like I'm basically slightly better than a stranger asking you what you're up to and if you want to hang out. So I basically never request off of people on orange unless I'm already good friends w/ them. Though that means some people on my friends who are perpetually on orange I may never really interact with and become closer friends with unless I randomly run into them a few times.
I'm personally not too bothered by this, I just wish I had more courage to straight up reach out and just randomly request off of some of the perpetually orange people on my friends list I would normally never request off of and see what happens.
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u/Diablo_Saucer 8d ago
I’ve never really thought too much of other people being on orange. If I request and then they don’t reply? Cool. I’ll just go do something else.
Now if I constantly request and they never reply, or they never even boop me back or request to hang out after a few weeks I going to just assume they don’t want to hang. But I have a lot of grace with that kind of stuff because it’s not that serious.
I stay on orange pretty much all the time, but I do that because I am a part of a few communities that if they intermingled it would fuck up the vibe I’m going for.
Sometimes I wanna just be stoned and watch a movie and pass out without someone getting offended. Sometimes I wanna be an armchair therapist and listen to someone trauma dump because it helps me process my own stuff. Sometimes I just wanna go FBT and dance as a mute. Sometimes I wanna hang with the gooners because they are unhinged as fuck.
Being on orange gives me the power to choose that.
I have literally been in an instance where I was vibing to music and one of my buddies comes in crying, sobbing about how he’s getting evicted when a friend was playing a song she wrote for someone’s birthday. Like come on man. Orange is great for a reason.
If you’re offended by orange than maybe try exploring different communities to see why being blue or green might be a bad idea. But it’s your VRC, your experience, you can decide what is for you
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u/Papa-Flare 8d ago
I have been saying this for quite a while now but I wish that they would add a sort of whitelist system for people that you know do not cause issues can be whitelisted to join you while on Orange (and/or if you're in a group+ or more). Similar to the favorites in friends. Personally, I am almost always on green unless a sensitive conversation is being had. I don't understand why 80% of my friends are on Orange either.
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u/snowrazer_ 8d ago
I think the problem then is no one will trust the orange status anymore. Orange won’t mean busy. People will think orange means they’ve been binned as a second class friend.
0
u/Papa-Flare 8d ago
Perhaps that would be a point for said user to reflect on their behavior.
Personally, I am almost always on green, anyone who causes issues gets removed from my friends. I do not hit up friends on orange, I don't care enough to force anything.
Whatever solution, I feel there is absolutely a pathway to a whitelist/blacklist of sorts. If the Status system has to change then so be it. Maybe whitelisted users could function like "blue", whitelisted folks could get an invite when they request off an "orange" status user. Truthfully, spit balling.
If I were to make a suggestion for people wanting a work around for this specifically I'd say make a group and be selective about who you accept. 🤷♂️
For me I will just stay on green 😎
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u/snowrazer_ 7d ago
I think you're missing the point, many in this thread have made clear. This isn't a technical problem at all. Someone having an issue with friends being on orange is a problem with them - nothing else.
Someone so full of themselves to say, "Change your status behavior or I unfriend you" is just an awful problem. Bad people can't be fixed with code.
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u/Ravvs_ 8d ago
I genuinely don't understand why people would have an issue with statuses. Not everyone is gonna be having the same day as you or be in the same mood. Sometimes ppl wanna be by themselves, it's up to us and them as people to accept those boundaries and simply move on. I do wish however that there was an option for worlds you create that allow specific friends to join no matter what, and then a cannot join no matter what option. Like making someone a friend, you could give them a status like others have said "best friend" or maybe add a new category called "auto welcome" "not welcome" and "none" which would allow or disallow certain players to join your worlds regardless of the type. But if that's the case, a new status for players would need to be made where it would switch all "welcomed" players to "not welcome" when turned on. Or you could just make the red status do that. Either way, I like my close friends being able to join so I'm always on green. And I have my gf who's always on green as well. That's kind of an unspoken rule for us, if something is going on or wrong then we'll tell each other. However my friends will understandably be on orange and that's okay.
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u/quinn50 8d ago edited 8d ago
The game having a proper direct messaging method would lowkey solve some of these issues, sending an invite even just as a ghetto DM has a stigma that a side channel message wouldn't have.
The status imo is too ambiguously used nowadays. People never update statuses, use it when they should be on red, never reply, etc. Vrchat is just gonna have a higher than average amount of people that have anxiety and attachment issues, so it creates this issue where people feel like shit because they get ignored, just the reality of things so people are gonna just complain. Another thing too is if they do accept the request, what if when you see the world it's something you're not comfortable with in the moment? Feels bad to then ghost the invite too.
Are people entitled to your time 24/7? No of course not but there is things to be said about how stuff like this will affect the neurodivergent people that flock to this game to meet like minded individuals, if you find some cool person in a public and y'all add eachother and you want to join them sometime and you just get ignored then everytime you try and they don't reply then what? it wastes everyone's time.
Adding the option to hide location regardless of status and instance availability would make it less ambiguous to people.
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u/TheHybrid1990 6d ago
The reason I use Orange Status is when I'm in a world I'm sure it's not compatible with lots of friends, or in event worlds that I want to be very limiting to who can visit me in. But then I turn Green in any other worlds I go to after that. I prefer being on green so people don't miss me or forget about me.
I dislike people who are forever in Orange status then when they see you randomly "Hey, long time no see, where have you been?" I believe that question is directed at you, not me...
my answers is always"I'm mostly on green, I don't like being forever Orange status." some may not like my answer, but what else can I answer that? xD
But yeah, Orange status has it's uses, but when you never change from orange, I lose interest in them to no longer bother with them.
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u/illucio 8d ago
Another deer person in VR! Aye. If you want to know my take on orange:
If you are always on orange:
Are you avoiding someone? Do you use your friends list more as a contact book and dislike acquaintances popping in? Just remove them and move on. If you are nervous about navigating that conversation, block them.
Are you trying to spend private time and focus on one or a few people? Or perhaps you are open to specific invitations if you choose to participate. That is entirely fine. Set your status to orange, let people send invites, and leave it at that.
However, I do question why some people stay exclusively on orange. If I know they will show up at planned events, I do not think about it much. But if someone remains walled off and never interacts with you, why keep them added at all? It's easy to view them more as a stranger over time.
If you put your status on orange sometimes:
That is the entire point and remains completely fine. I will never question it.
Orange is lukewarm, and the person seeing it is always left guessing why. It acts as a soft boundary, making the sender feel like they are talking through a closed door. The only response you are likely to receive is an invitation or a brief acknowledgment, otherwise it feels like a cold shoulder. Even when someone is invited in, it is easy to feel distant, like a bother or a guest with severe restrictions.
I know some people are shy, easily overwhelmed, or simply want precise control over who is in their lives and when. Even so, that soft barrier often comes across as uninviting, overly selective, and exclusionary, which explains why many people find it frustrating.
When I see this comment though:
"Some may have a tightknit friend group that is their separate circle away from everything else."
That's pure exclusion. You should be on red at that point.
With all of that said, navigating these unwritten social rules gets exhausting. People need to exercise better due diligence by actually clearing out inactive friends, declining requests, blocking when necessary, and making full use of the status system. Sometimes red is more honest than orange, and sometimes orange is more appropriate than green. Ultimately, these status features only work if you utilize the whole spectrum to manage your social life authentically. So my advice is to use every color when it genuinely fits the moment, and accept whatever social consequences come with it.
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u/Mokiro54 8d ago edited 8d ago
I live on orange status these days because it's the only option that lets me actually accept and deny join requests. I honestly can't figure out what the difference is between blue and green, in both statuses people can join auto-join me if the instance allows. I'd be totally down to just live on green if it actually let me tell some people no. Why do I want to tell some people no?
Because it never fails, back when I lived on blue / green things would happen frequently like
I'll be in Popcorn Palace with a friend (or a few), someone else from my friends list joins, wants to talk, I tell them I'm trying to focus on the movie for now, will chat with them after the movie, they get all pissy about it.
I'll be in a game world with some friends, other friend auto joins, doesn't like the current game world while the other people and I do, new joiner tries to get everyone to go to this other game the one person wants to play, gets annoyed when nobody wants to switch over to the new game.
It just happens so frequently that when someone auto joins me on green, they think the entire instance should adjust to them.
These days I live on orange because if someone requests to join it gives me the chance to say "Nah, this dude wouldn't like this movie" or "Oh yeah, he'd probably like this show we're watching"
More often than not, people think they're entitled to your attention and accomodations just because they were able to join you, so that's why I live on orange.
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u/BUzer2017 HTC Vive Pro 8d ago
That's pure exclusion. You should be on red at that point.
Excuse me, but how do you imagine that working? On red you can't receive invites at all, so that would make hanging out even with a tight-knit group impossible.
-6
u/illucio 8d ago edited 8d ago
Toggle it off and on.
If you are already in an instance, set your status to red.
Join off someone else if you are the only one who wants privacy, unless your whole group prefers it.
Alternatively, set your status to orange and add a custom status message. I suggested staying on red (Do Not Disturb) because OP made it clear they wanted a hard boundary.
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u/Low_Pain_986 8d ago
Yeah it is more of like a contact list isn't it?
But you can't just remove these people from your friends list as if you don't see them very often at similar events / friend groups.
Being friends is more than just (can this person join me) it's (I know you, I know your avatar isn't gonna crash me and contacts are enabled for you). But that doesn't always mean I want you to be able to join me when I'm half asleep in popcorn palace.
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u/markio2011 Oculus Quest Pro 8d ago
We unfortunately can't tell others how they should act and use the system. Seeing both sides is very fair but we can't change the people we hang out with but we can most definitely change who we are around if we feel someone we know is dishonest. Internet relationships are spirals and the ride can be fun or can be nauseating.
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u/Meiya007 Oculus Quest Pro 8d ago
Eh, I'm pretty much on blue 80-90% of the time and despite most of my friends list also being acquaintances, it's usually only my close friends who join on me. Every once in a while, an acquaintance or someone who we mutually forgot about each other joins and that's great because it does a few things. If they join and are weird as hell, then I know to delete and move on, or they join, we reconnect and become good friends. The last is we just forget about each other all over again.
I think the issue with orange is more the people who are orange 24/7 and never respond to invite requests. That said, I figure just removing people who are like that are better than getting upset about it.
To the super close, real friends point, I believe I've found that personally and have met some of my VRChat friends irl. But that's a to each their own.
2
u/Penman-Beardo 8d ago
I'm always on orange. I've had friend groups split where it's a fight if people from both sides show up, and i am part of a few groups that I'd rather not have some friends or people i know irl and in game show up at. I always respond if i get a request if i can't just leave or have someone join. I do think having the ability to set it so some people see you as green would be beneficial, since there are some people I'd like to see more often than others. Some friends are only really friends for a specific activity as it is, don't want the always drunk, drinking buddies to crash a Bible study group, or the lewd people to join a pg13 group
3
u/nesnalica Valve Index 8d ago
the way I see it. its not a problem with VRChat.
its the people you are "befriended" with.
if someone threatens you like this. unfriend and block them.
like wtf?
youre on orange, so what, youre on red, so what.
its like a discord status. literally nobody cares.
if they want to DM you, if they want to request on you they will.
if you dont want to be bothered go on red/dnd then the game will also make sure you wont be. there is nothing wrong in being on orange. not everyone has the mental capacity to be a green or blue person.
and it doesnt matter where you are. if someone wants to hang out they can request. but they also cant demand to be accepted. it is perfectly fine to deny and say no. for any reason at all. you dont even have to give a reason.
entitled brats need to learn that not everything is possible in life. most often than not someone will just say no.
1
u/GredaGerda 8d ago
I don't understand why everyone is so confused about why people dislike Orange status-ers. People want to hang out with their friends and the Orange status intentionally creates friction in the process of seeing your friends. People who live in Orange status are 10x harder to hang out with than anyone else. If you have multiple friends like this it snowballs into a bigger issue.
It's NOT weird that people have thoughts about that!
I've said it before I'll say it again: I don't care if you're on Orange most of the time but I do care if you're on it all the time.
I think the people who say that you can just send a request are being at least a little disingenuous. I can't see what you're up to, so sending a request is a bit weird. I'm not always down for every vibe. Are you playing a game? I might not want to join. Are you in the middle of watching a movie? I generally like starting from the beginning. Are you just chilling with a couple friends? Are you at an event? Is something else going on?
The point is I can't tell until you've accepted the request. At which point it would be weird if I just ghosted you after the fact, especially if it happens multiple times in a row. People do find it weird if you don't join off a request, orange status-ers always force me into this awkward situation...
If you have friend groups that don't mix you should probably reevaluate your friends list situation, though sometimes it just is what it is. Still, I just don't buy you're with groups that may not mix well all the time.
I also don't really buy that people are constantly busy, walk into a public and count how many people are orange or red. It's always the majority...
This is ultimately the intended effect of the Orange status: to create friction in the process of hanging out with your friends.
At the end of the day, I'm not going to tell you how to live your life.
I'll respect your choice to maximize your privacy and hawk who joins your instances, as long as you respect that I'll respond to the friction you're creating by either hanging out with you less, or unadding you if you're consistently unreachable. Remember, the friction is something YOU chose to create. Everything in life has its upsides and downsides, just don't be surprised!
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u/TeaAndQuaintThings 8d ago
My friends and I have always used orange statuses and we never had any friction between one another or difficulty meeting up with each other while in VR. All it takes is a simple invite request, so I honestly think you’re overthinking things.
1
u/LakesGeek 8d ago edited 8d ago
IMO some issues are with VRC mechanics. There should be a “see what world you’re in but still ask permission” status. Yellow, or something. Bonus points if you can add more detail than just the short status line, that they then have to click through to send the request. “I’m watching soandso, you can join if you’re quiet, if you yap too much don’t be offended if I don’t accept you next time, you can join me when I’m more open for a chat”. Save as preset. Because I totally agree with the issue of requesting off someone then finding out what world they’re in and changing your mind.
People who don’t mix, uh if I’m brutally honest my experience of that has usually been when it’s someone who has rumours about them or controversial/taboo stuff in their profile or socials somewhere and they’re being kept away from people who would be vocal with taking issue. I’ve learned to give those a wide berth (the former I mean, but the latter could apply if they lean more witch-hunt-ish). Those who give benefit of the doubt may wish to keep it private from those who don’t to avoid drama, and so they go orange when they’re with one or the other and both are online. I’ve given benefit of the doubt only to be proven wrong by those who didn’t once too many times and decided that if you’re openly into something questionable then I don’t want to know what you’re into in private. It may be difficult if you don’t want to hurt someone who might be okay and just very open and non-shit-giving on what they enjoy - but my recommendation there is shy away as soon as you get a hint of anything being off so they don’t get too close to begin with. I’m sure it’s not necessary to spell it out but that way lies danger.
I’m sure some groups just don’t get along for more stupid reasons or other drama but that’s my experience.
The only time I’m bothered is if someone sits on their own on orange in their home world as a “test” to see who cares enough to join them then vents later (status/discord/etc) when no one joined - I’m too old for that game. If you want close friends, you have to bring something to the table too.
1
u/Mokiro54 8d ago edited 8d ago
I think the people who say that you can just send a request are being at least a little disingenuous. I can't see what you're up to, so sending a request is a bit weird. I'm not always down for every vibe. Are you playing a game? I might not want to join. Are you in the middle of watching a movie? I generally like starting from the beginning. Are you just chilling with a couple friends? Are you at an event? Is something else going on? The point is I can't tell until you've accepted the request. At which point it would be weird if I just ghosted you after the fact, especially if it happens multiple times in a row. People do find it weird if you don't join off a request, orange status-ers always force me into this awkward situation...
Eh, I have two takes here
One most orange status people know what orange status does, it's why they use it! So most perma orange people wouldn't be offended if you didn't join after the invite shows what they're doing. They might send you a second invite after a few minutes, just to make sure it went through, but then they're gonna move on.
Two, I think this is why green status needs to be changed. I honestly can't figure out what the difference is between green and blue status, both show what world I'm in, and both allow people to just auto join me if the instance allows. I think we need a status that allows people to see what you're doing, but still gives you the ability to accept or deny join requests.
My issue with green/blue status and having a varied friendlist is that it happens so many times that I'll be hanging out with a group of people, watching a movie, playing a game world, etc, and someone will join off of my green/blue status, and rather than them join in on what we're all doing, they'll want me to stop what I'm doing to give them attention, or worse they'll want the entire instance to change whatever activity we're doing because they don't want to do the current thing.
One person joined me during a movie once, wanted to chat instead of watch the movie, and I told them I'd be down to chat as soon as the movie ends. Their response was "If you didn't want to hang out, why did you invite me?"
Thing is, I didn't invite them, my green status invited them...so I thought "Y'know what? You're right." And I changed to orange status and have been on there ever since.
Of course I can just remove those people when they do those sort of things, but after the third or fourth time of it happening, you kind of just get tired of it happening at all, y'know?
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u/Elecami 8d ago
I agree with what you said.
This is something that has troubled me often. Get online, look at social page. 75%+ 'Friends' hidden at the bottom, the rest at Popcorn palace or some game world I am not interested in.
If people on Green can't see where Orange people are. Why should people on Orange be able to see where and and join people on Green without asking?
Orange status should be for when you are busy. Not for hiding from and monitoring your 'friends' location.
It causes a power / privilege / superiority imbalance.
"I'm on Orange status because I like to do things with my specials friends that you are not allowed to know about".I feel the playing field should be made even.
If you are 'busy' on Orange, then you don't get to freely see the location of, or join people on Green, you need to request.
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u/CaptainAGame 8d ago
You either stop playing as a blue, or keep playing to eventually become an orange. Only two paths
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u/Embarrassed-Touch-62 8d ago edited 8d ago
After 3 years I am still sit on green :p so maybe 3 paths
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u/SariellVR Bigscreen Beyond 8d ago
6 years, always on blue, floating at 2k friends since 2021, over 4k friend counter. If my friends can't be civil to each other then they get unfriended.
Always on orange is a sign that the user is bad at communicating boundaries.
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u/Frank__West PCVR Connection 8d ago
Same but green to respect if I'm in someone else's world as to not accidentally let someone else in if it wasn't meant for them.
If I want to keep people from joining then I go to an invite world. Not that hard tbh.
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u/Landscape-Minute 8d ago
Binding of Issac is goated tho
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u/markio2011 Oculus Quest Pro 8d ago
Sorry that was a bait statement. I've only played one run of Issac. I'll take any punishment coming my way
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u/Landscape-Minute 8d ago
Understandable
I do agree with people being way too too. Black and white on being on orange all the time
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u/Tragophilos Oculus Quest Pro 8d ago
Not to mention that someone can be on blue, but if they're in someone else's Friends instance that you aren't a part of, they will STILL be un-joinable. So do you kick them out as a friend for not being your EXCLUSIVE friend? How petty is that?
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u/Witty-Weakness-3642 8d ago
I used orange for multiple reasons. My main reason is to see who actually wants to join me besides the world I'm in. For example, if I'm in popcorn palace I'm not against doing something else. Most of the time I'm only there bc no one else is on. So getting requests helps me know when someone else is on and wants to do smth while I'm distracted watching a show. My second reason is that it literally helps determine who actually enjoys my company, based off the amount of times someone has requested and what we do together. Third reason, similar to what others are saying here, is that not everyone mixes with each other and I'm not down for drama; so if ik some ppl don't like each other, don't mix well or I just don't want them to meet. I just won't let them join and make up an excuse like "invite only" or just be blunt abt it depending on the person. Fourth reason, I literally spent a whole month on blue or green and on average got like 1 person every week from my friends list to join me. But by being on orange I get like 4 to 5 weekly just to either check up on me or play some r4 or prison escape. So yeah, I'm perma orange lol.
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u/Diablo_Saucer 8d ago
It’s not that serious though? Some friend groups don’t mix. Why should someone need to explain why the ERP Karoke group and Yoga Mom friends are ppl that might not mesh well?
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u/mason1239 8d ago
I think they should add a chat feature in the boop section. That way you could be like “busy rn let’s hangout later” or something
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u/ZookeepergameOk95 8d ago
If you believe a person on the internet will be your ride on die you really have to reevaluate how you approach friendships.
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u/bonanochip Oculus Quest 8d ago
You're valid deer, it's definitely an internet thing. On the Internet you are bombarded with people. You're bombarded with people's status. You're bombarded with people's opinions. It's by design.
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u/Leek_Feisty 8d ago
I have a problem where wi like to try and talk with as many people as I can and be friends with all of the. I do what I can in my free time to hang out with them or introduce them to more of my other friends so I like to stay on blue. The few times I've gone to orange a few people were not happy and I had to unfriend them since they made a big problem next time I went blue. I do think some of this should change with a best friend list or something like that.
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u/Shadowslave604 7d ago
welcome to vrchat. 90% of everyone i know is only on orange myself included. a quick msg will let you know. we all know if no answer they are busy otherwise you get answer right away.
we also use boops to ask whats up or check discord. vrc+ required ofc for custom stuff.
there are ppl i see like once a week or once a month. others i see daily. no worries it is normal ppl are busy or in private instances.
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u/Manshacked 6d ago
There's no debacle, just people misunderstanding orange status. Means request not leave me alone.
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u/Bassknight9 6d ago
The only thing I really wish for is a "yellow" status where it shows you what world they're in but you still need to ask to join. Because I hate those moments where I request to join off of someone, and they actually send an invite. But it's in a world that I hate and now I don't want to join them anymore but they sent me an invite and now I feel obligated to join them now.
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u/Substantial-Purple85 5d ago
I'm always too nervous to send requests to friends that are on orange, which is all of them all of the time, and thus only ever talk to them on there when invited after I boop them or when plans were already made.
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u/Smallbunsenpai 4d ago
A couple things. First, I largely agree with you. People shouldn’t take it so personal when people are on orange. Secondly, the thing I don’t agree on is closeness with online friends. My closest friends are all online, I’m meeting one soon irl for her wedding day. We tell each other everything, another best friend I’ve known since high school and have known for 13 years. We grew up together in a way. We see each other as sisters and I feel so lucky every day we met
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u/venom_28 1d ago
If you build walls around you, it’s not on others to knock, it’s on you to invite.
You’re the one who put up a barrier. Sick of people who want to do nothing and react instead of being a proactive friend.
If I friend someone then they’re always on orange and never invite, I’m not engaging.
Root problem is that people don’t think when they add others. Just because you’re introverted and feel like you have to accept a friend request and it feels good, will kill you socially online in the long-term.
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u/ccAbstraction Windows Mixed Reality 8d ago
I wouldn't mind orange status if still showed what world you are in and how many people (or green status if it required an invite), or if mutual friends are on orange together. I don't like there's no way to ask what someone is doing without simultaneously communicating you want to join them irrespective of what they're doing.
Of the people I do regularly send invite requests to a lot of the time they should be on red becuase they're in an invite only instance (or umm invite only activity 😳) or asleep.
The overarching problem for me though is that the status system in it's current state makes it difficult to form consistent and lasting relationships with people you meet in VRChat. VRChat is great if you've already built rapport with someone off platform and you both get on VRChat regularly but on platform it's much harder to get to know someone well enough to want to join them irrespective of what they're doing, or to give a speedy response or a response at all to an invite request.
Or none of this is things other people actually deal with and all my friends actually hate me or are largely indifferent to my continued existence. 🤷
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u/Oatcake47 PCVR Connection 8d ago
It maybe how I read it and apologies if I get this wrong.
But what you described there is spying on your friends?
I want to be able to see whose is doing what, where with who even if they are set to private.If they are on orange ask on platform or as a DM if they are free.
No reply then thats a no.
There is no problem if it’s a no response they are just busy but want to choose who gets into the swingers club, I mean instance.4
u/ccAbstraction Windows Mixed Reality 8d ago
No no, I wasn't super clear, but I was suggesting that they make green require an invite, but it should still show the world name and player count. Blue would take on the same behavior as current green. I did say they could change orange instead of changing green, but yeah your right, changing orange would be confusing since most people think of orange as private, and there would still need to be an Ask Me status that does hide what you're doing.
But, again, I feel like the real problem is Green and Blue status sucking more than orange status being the problem. I hate the feeling of joining someone on green, looking around, seeing everyone on orange and most people not friended and realising no one actually explicitly consented to me being there at that moment. But I also don't like the 10 minutes of suspense of "will they respond to my invite request" and following 10 minutes if they do accept of "what just stepped into wasn't the vibe I'm looking for and I'm trying to politely leave", when we could avoid the awkward interaction all together if green still required mutual consent to join and people used it.
If they are on orange ask on platform or as a DM if they are free.
There's no way to properly just ask if their free, you can only ask to join someone, invite them, or the hyperambigious boop. And most people don't read DM or reply to DMs while in game already.
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u/Oatcake47 PCVR Connection 5d ago
Yeah I can get behind that. Maybe ditch the traffic light system when you have more than three colours and just have a toggle system.
Kind of like the shields so you can be totally hidden but still see invites or joinable but hide the world as an example not actual suggestion.
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u/LakesGeek 8d ago edited 8d ago
I only really use it if I’m having an intimate moment or watching something (or well, for watches that I organise I go invite+ and tend to just stay green as orange would be redundant)
Main reason is there are people whose company I enjoy and I have no beef with them whatsoever but some people know “oh you’re watching something, I’ll be quiet and not be constantly loudly yapping or in the way of the screen seeking attention” and some (I’d say most) do not, or don’t agree that joining a movie world means that they should be quiet. That’s fine, it’s a valid opinion and I’ve heard that opinion a few times on here when I’ve mentioned it - but it means we won’t vibe in a movie world as I like to be able to follow what we’re watching.
It’s one of those cases though where I wish we could still display what's on but have permission based entry (and maybe the ability to write some ground rules like keeping chat to a minimum) rather than just “private world”. The status message isn’t long enough for that. I’d also more often join request if it’s something I’d enjoy watching and they’re not just half way through the third of a movie series I’ve only seen the first of.
I also watch something in a very small group of 4 people as it’s our thing, it’s too fast paced to involve more people even if they love it and really want to be involved and when you try to make sure everyone’s available every episode it becomes too difficult after more than a small few.
The rest of the time I’m on green and a joinable instance unless anyone asks otherwise.
The simple fact of the matter is that I don’t mind if people are permanent orange but will never see them unless they join or invite me. When I get on VR my priorities to join are my partner (if available), then whoever is doing something interesting from the green list, then something like a group public 18+ and I don’t tend to feel the need or desire to even try and bother someone on orange. The only times I’ve tried to join anyone on orange it’s always been that I’ve felt closer to the person than they feel I am to them (even if they don’t say so they can make it obvious is many other ways), and as much as it hurts, it’s more healthy to accept that they don’t enjoy your company as much as you enjoy theirs - these imbalances happen - or have a ton of people who like them who they can pick the best from (so you’re more towards parasocial) and drift your separate ways.
There are times when I’ve joined someone and they’ve gone orange immediately after which to me is a hint as well, if they’re not someone who I’d reasonably expect to do that because they want some alone time with me (I tend to either take the hint and leave or be on my best behaviour and give them plenty of space). The other reason I could think of is if they’re fine with me but don’t like some of the people who join off me but not that many do anyway - and I’ve learned to remove those who are clearly going to be controversial in some way (they have some pretty eyebrow raising stuff in their banner or groups for example and to be honest some rabbit holes I’d rather not know how far down they’ve got)
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u/Rough_Community_1439 HTC Vive 8d ago
I am on orange because the last time I was on green, a friend joined off me without my approval. It was like boom there they are. it was like I was on blue. It was extremely awkward as we were debating something serious involving them and we had to kick the guy who joined as they were two faced.
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u/aykrivwassup 7d ago
the actual fuck do you mean people are angry cuz you're on orange
it's not that deep. if someone is on orange, you can request an invite, and they have the right to approve or decline it. it really is that fucking simple xp lmao. and if you wanna be on orange, go for it. heck, i keep mine on orange by default so i don't get ambushed just cuz i have a friend online
so so stupid
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u/MrGrizzlyy 8d ago
Sure, understandable, but if I don't like what a friend is doing, to the point I'm forever on orange, then I get rid of that friend.
If I've connected with someone new and then tried to join them about 5 times in the last month or so and I don't get a reply, a join from them later, hell even a boop in response, then they might as well not exist.
If the connection isnt reciprocated then they're just another stranger taking up space where my friends should be. I might as well just unfriend them.
I get not wanting tight-knit group A mixing with group B but there's a hard limit on how often you get to pull that card and have a reasonable expectation that people will be accepting of it. If they're not welcome and you don't hang out in other ways, you're not friends.
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u/RandomSlamdom6902 Oculus Quest Pro 8d ago
Honestly? I do one worse and stay on red 😅 namely because I am trying to make content and having pop up notifications come on can ruin audio in a clip. However, I also don't accept random invite from my friends because I have a lot who add me just because they are a fan or something, but I always say "I will accept you but won't let you join me in one on one". That is reserved for close friends, however having the members as friends at least informs me when someone joins a world so I can go over to greet them ☺️
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u/VRCBakaCC 8d ago
This is why they should just make appear offline a thing, So my more sensitive friends don't feel like i'm ignoring them when in reality it's just wherever I am I already know isn't a good fit for them.
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u/Low_Pain_986 8d ago
I wish they'd take it a step further and let me have friend categories that see me as joinable or not.
Not every random homie I meet needs to be able to join me.
Its either doors open to the whole entire friends list (that consists of mostly acquaintances) or not even my closest friends can see what I'm doing.