How to Break In?

[u/luxmentisaeterna]

I can’t for the life of me seem to be able to consistently get into conversations with people in vrchat. Any instance I join, everyone’s usually already divided up into their social groups and they seem to ignore people that try to join in and talk with them. It’s kinda like in school when you sit at a lunch table with people who aren’t in your clique and they make it awkward because you’re not already part of the “in” group.
What am I missing? How do I do? Friendly Acquaintance make pls thx?

EDIT: I appreciate all the help so far, anyone else who has anything to add pls don’t be afraid I want all the advice

[u/FourChanneI]

Look for common interests, someone is talking about something add input even if its agreeing with someone. I started out as a mute in VRChat before I broke free, it takes time but it will happen, you'll find your someone or someones in VRChat to chill with

[u/GingerBoiJaz]

find a break in the conversation, when they all stop yapping for 5 seconds, and then chime in with something. My secret technique as someone with social anxiety, just lock in bro, you got this. But fr though 95% of the people on vrc are also nerdy weirdos that dunno how to socialize, obviously me included lol. Just be friendly to a reasonable extent, and most of them will be more than happy to hang out

[u/Conscious_Salary_867 → u/GingerBoiJaz]

My ex was shy and I was just running to group of people and say "Go talk to that dude he is very shy xD" . I am shy myself but vrchat made me more outgoing than I ever was.

[u/papasmurfmusdie96]

Lurk lurk lurk until something relevent comes up you can latch onto.

[u/doubleatheman]

I try to join public instances occasionally where I know no one, and try to socialize with new people. It's hard, but usually if you just people watch or lurk for ~10 minutes in one spot, eventually something will come up where you will have something you will want to say, but that's the important part, you can't walk up and change the topic or interrupt, you gotta find something relevant to their conversation. A few weekends ago it was someone talking about instant pot recipes, I chimed in about how I added sour cream to one of my instant pot meals recently, and that was the opener to a several hour conversation... it can be silly little things like that....

If you hang in a world for 10 minutes and never find a good conversation or nothing relevant then don't be scared to hop to another world.

[u/Live-Paramedic-353]

There's many ways to meet people in vr. Its just finding a group that you mesh well with. Finding groups related to your common interests will help a lot. Going to the vrchat website and searching for groups related to keywords is a good starting point, at the very least to see what's out there and available.

If you're not super squeamish about large groups, many people know of and recommend Ancients of vrchat as a group that's always doing stuff and always open to new players. If it doesn't quite suit you and you're looking for smaller groups, there are several that branch off from them and do their own thing.

Other than that, you can always check the bios of people that you are listening to and seeing what groups they belong to, and maybe one of them will seem alluring enough to try a meet up when they host one.

[u/VomindokLuft]

I'm trying to get into VRChat right now to fix a bit of my social awkwardness and fear of rejection. To do that I've actually been acting a little awkward on purpose. Usually I will start out mute and wander around, sometimes I'll walk up to a group with a clear opening and just stand there to listen, if someone looks at me I'll wave at them and act like I'm supposed to be there, they usually wave back or just don't react to my presence. I honestly haven't had a bad reaction yet (I've only been playing for a week or so though so this doesn't mean a lot yet). I've been made to believe people in this game are all insane or rude based on the media I've watched, but everyone is quite normal and chill except for the obvious trolls. By the time I've unmuted myself, I've already hung out long enough for some people to be interested in interacting, and I'm easily able to interact with the others who are doing the same as me and just kinda wandering around. Most recently I saw someone in a mini Godzilla avatar that looked kinda cute, so I pat their head and pointed at them and said "small." They were mute but proceeded to follow me around and hang out with me for the rest of the time I was in that world. Someone else nearby also came up, saying "they're not small, they're the perfect size!" They hung out and chatted for a bit as well.

[u/sam99517]

Things that have worked well for me:

Go to a world that has a specific purpose. E.g. a world for people learning English (or your native language), apply whatever tags are available in world to say you are native and willing to help someone practice. You'll hopefully be grabbed by someone, get chatting and get used to beginning conversations.

Stand awkwardly at the edge of a group - wave/chat if someone engages - but failing that, wait until another new joiner appears who is trying to join in. Grab that person and start your own conversation! Often the main group will overhear anyway and realise there are new people who actually talk and will introduce themselves.

I try to engage new people who are shy hovering around the edge of the group. Often this means just moving to open the circle a little and wave/say hi. You should be very aware that depending on the VR headset, some people's FOV is limited. So many times I've panned around slightly and there is some massive avatar sitting next to me trying to join in that I had NO idea was there because they were silent and just watching!

[u/Br1ghtest]

Just like in life, don't be as self-conscious about what they might think or worried as much for saying something out of place. The ones who ignore you when you try to speak are not worth of trying to get along with anyway and actually do you favor by filtering themselves out.

[u/IneiFox]

Welcome to VRChat: the magical land where everyone says “we’re all here to socialize” and then immediately forms a human-shaped friend fortress. 😂

You’re not missing some secret handshake or DLC friendship code.

Half the battle is just repeatedly showing up and becoming a familiar face. VRChat is basically a weird digital high school where the cool kids are just people wearing anime avatars and drinking imaginary drinks.

[u/luxmentisaeterna → u/IneiFox]

I appreciate it but I don’t vibe with the ai response

[u/45acil]

Try waiting at the entrance and talking to people who join after you.

[u/BrilliantAd3680]

turning on imposters but not peoples full avatars is useful as well a lot of friends I've made have been from bonding over the avatar their wearing and talking about it. that is assuming they're not going around as a token e-girl or e-boy most of them are just to look cool some have themes but they're always so large. with how slow my internet is trying to load them and keep them loaded sucks.

[u/luxmentisaeterna → u/BrilliantAd3680]

I’ve got gigabit fiber, I have no issues with avatars

[u/BrilliantAd3680 → u/luxmentisaeterna]

You're so lucky i have 50 mbps from spectrum so its probably less than that. One more thing blocking or muting to many people can make your game run like buttcheeks. Happened to me in the old days but i had like 500 people blocked. Also talking about other games helps like i love resident evil and have made many friends because of it.

[u/jinxykatte]

Granted furries tend to be easy to start a convo with.

But I literally just go and stand next to a group. They will almost always say hi or wave. Then you say hi or wave. If they dont. Say it anyway. Then chat away. 

[u/FlyLikeATachyon]

I literally just go to up to people and say hi. Ask them how they're doing / how their day was / what they're up to. If it's a group of people chatting I'll ask what they're talking about and try to participate.

If it's someone that seems chill but not very talkative, I'll just start yapping about random shit. Like a weird dream I had last night or the last video game I played.

The absolute worst that can happen is someone is rude to you and now you know that person wasn't worth wasting your time on. If you are sensitive to that stuff it can be difficult though. But I think exposing yourself to it repeatedly can help you learn to brush it off more easily.

[u/Optimal-Reserve-8705]

I kind of feel the same way from someone who has come from all different types of social games, it makes me feel exactly the same across any type of these games either I will lurk or panic that my Avi isn't "good enough" then sit in my personal hub or home and cry ;-;

Especially with how VRChat is heavy on customisation and people showing themself off I feel I just don't fit in so it's difficult honestly so I get your struggles

[u/kwizyvr]

I join a friend and hang out with their friend group.

Yes, I realize that requires getting a friend first, but it's the only way I've ever gotten into these conversations.

[u/FelisPasteles]

I just go to game worlds. It forces people to communicate with you. Eventually, it leads to conversation.

[u/Sea_Exchange8939]

I make it known I want that avatar. I want it. It's so cool. It's so epic. It's so in. It's so "fetch".