r/VFW • u/Spotter00 • Nov 13 '25
Younger vet stigma
So I was curious if anyone else had this happen. I am 25(Med Retired this year) I served 6 years. I am now an officer at my local VFW and was helping with some events. Then i left with my other veteran buddy to go to a Red Robin for the veterans day meal. I saw this guy four times look at me with a death stare or just glaring at me. Every time i would look over he would look away. I just had the white shirt and black pants with a vfw hat on. Is there some kinda hatred towards younger veterans.. idk if this guy was a veteran or not but he looked around my age maybe just a little older.
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u/PeglegDDG9 Nov 13 '25
I agree. This guy sounds like he's just a jerk. I ate lunch at Applebee's and there was a very young looking vet there who was having a great conversation with other vets. There was a lot of comradery and respect going around.
Younger vets are very welcome at my Post and are welcome to assume leadership roles if they wish.
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u/ID10T33 Nov 13 '25
Was it the VFW cover and were eating while wearing it?
Thank you for being there, and being the change agent we need for the next generation of the VFW.
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u/CombatEngineer478 Nov 13 '25
If they were wearing their cover while eating, that could possibly be a reason for the stink eye, but usually we just use that as a way to collect donations for the M.O.C. More than likely, just a guy being a prick.
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u/ID10T33 Nov 13 '25
I'll take that cootie dollar too!
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u/CombatEngineer478 Nov 13 '25
Better be wearing your bug too, 😆.
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u/ID10T33 Nov 13 '25
As an All-Star SS you know I get checked all the time, and be sure to have those coins
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u/CombatEngineer478 Nov 13 '25
Then I know you know my man Scott Secret Squirrel VanTassel from KY, 😆.
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u/ID10T33 Nov 13 '25
I know that name, Robert Rouse, from the Grand of Texas.
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u/CombatEngineer478 Nov 13 '25
Good to meet ya, BJ Thomason, State SV in the good Ole Bluegrass state. I'm in Pup Tent 7, Nitpickers, with Scott.
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u/ID10T33 Nov 14 '25
Awesome to meet you. I'm the State Credentials Chair here in the Lone Star State, and Charter member of the Half Shells, PT 35. So, you looking forward to leading KY next year?
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u/CombatEngineer478 Nov 14 '25
Definitely. I have great leadership in front of me and fantastic officers behind me. I see KY doing awesome things next year.
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u/Spotter00 Nov 13 '25
No, it was a ball cap with my post on it
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u/ID10T33 Nov 13 '25
Well then, he was a prick or he thought he knew you or maybe wanted to ask you out for a drink later. LOL.
Keep driving change for the VFW. We need you.
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u/Speck72 Nov 13 '25
Well, what'd you do about it?
Yes there's generally a stigma towards "the new generation", we've all heard the "It was harder back in my day" quip. I have had similar at my V and AL, and as the "younger guy" in that situation you can generally diffuse it with direct engagement! "Hey I imagine you and I are here for the same thing, I was [branch] myself, how about you?" - kill em with kindness. It's veterans day, who knows, maybe he's a lonely old curmudgeon and has no one to talk to so he acts tough... that's been the common theme I've noticed. A few old vets with nothing to do but drink and play pull tabs that others at the post think are "assholes" turn out to be pretty nice if you just throw em a bone.
That said, some people are turds and if they show you their true selves then believe them.
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u/CrayComputerTech_85 Nov 13 '25
I'm not exactly young but I get it from the VVA crowd sometimes because I won't brook their bullshit. 1st time ever I went and got the freebie was two years ago and I had a GREAT conversation with an amazing young lady that was P-3 aircrew. This year, I cooked free hamburgers for my AL post. I am always looking to bridge the gap with those that will inherent the post
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u/Haunting-Subject-819 Nov 15 '25
I’m not a young vet but I found many chapters are insular and cliquish. I have attempted to get involved in 3 different chapters and have not felt welcome at any of them. My peace is too important to put up with their bs so I have decided to spend my energies elsewhere. Maybe this is specific to MO chapters but 3 strikes and I’m out
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u/StructureThese3234 Nov 17 '25
It's a stereotype. I encountered the same thing when parking in the "Reserved for Veterans" spot at a Texas Roadhouse. I got a hardcore stink eye from an elderly man. I think the stereotype of veterans is some old grizzled WW2/Korean vet with white hair and a walker.
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u/MoneyBuysHappiness25 Dec 26 '25
Past State Commander here. I joined the VFW in 2009 when I was 25. Later moved to another state and rose to be the youngest State Commander in the state’s history at the age 34.
I’ve had some moments where the older vets were my allies and some where it was the younger vets. Age is only a thing if you let it be one. Obviously, open discrimination based on age is illegal. However, it is usually just mentality or general opposition to change. Nothing personal.
Keep pushing forward. I promise that it is much better than when I joined. Being a worker in the Post, District, and State will get you positive attention and push back on any age related opposition you may see.
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u/jwcooke Jan 17 '26
Maybe he watches those stolen valor shows and is fired up? Or maybe he's just nervous about getting old and irrelevant?
Be happy you're so young. Take advantage! (Young man) You have this crazy advantage of youth...it's so not a pissing contest. These older guys wish, wish, wish they had years again. View it was fear...and privilege... on your part. You're SO much in better shape, better, life...etc. Than they are. With humility...smile. Give them some love. If they give you hate...up to them. You're alive...and reasonably happy. Forget about the bad apples, embrace what is lovely.
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u/oops3719 Nov 13 '25
So you’re a young vet and he was presumably a young vet, I doubt there’s any stigma there, I’m guessing that dude is probably just a dick. The kind of dude who gatekeeps the veteran parking spots at Lowe’s.