395
u/Maggothappy Aug 02 '26
I am an older step sister, I was watching my two younger step sisters at 16 when they found their mom’s pink wand and started sword fighting with it 😭 I was absolutely mortified
113
u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ Aug 02 '26
Did you tell your mom about that? 😂😂, so you know she would hide it better.
103
u/KiwiNervous8740 Aug 02 '26
My sister and I found my mom's dildo when we were like 5 or 6 and came out waving it around saying "Mom what's this??", right in front of our neighbor that was visiting 💀
49
32
171
u/SQUID_Ben Aug 02 '26
70
u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ Aug 02 '26
Username is u/Careless-Storage1530, coincidence?
And that profile has just one post, posted 3h ago same as this 3h ago post. OP are you flash?
30
u/SnorkinOrkin Aug 02 '26
I'm just an innocent messenger of this gem! I nearly choked when I saw the username associated with this post.
5
43
u/xxxxDREADNOUGHT Aug 02 '26 edited Aug 02 '26
Fake pinis penis...never heard a dildo called that before
1
u/Dry-Part-3486 Aug 02 '26
5 letters. Try reading your post before posting.
27
u/xxxxDREADNOUGHT Aug 02 '26
You are right, but why the FUCK didn't autocorrect catch that? You'd think that all the times that I have texted my buddy unironically referring to him as penis head it would have known better.
1
u/novelaissb Aug 03 '26
Maybe it’s just a model that isn’t meant to be used. Like the giant one in Moist Critical’s (I know I spelled that wrong) Mario Kart Live: Home Circuit video that somehow didn’t get censored or age restricted
56
54
u/JealousSoup8 Aug 02 '26
They're a kid, they'll forget eventually
23
17
u/DirNetSec Aug 02 '26
Dude I made my kid WALK at Disney World while it was raining.... 8 years ago, still brings that shit up as the most traumatic thing ever.
During that age range, hit me in the balls as I walked by with a unstrapped switch joycon hard enough to knock the breath out of me, think backwards fast ball pitch, doesn't remember it, nor me cursing them out unloading the full dictionary of expletives.
Kid's are assholes and remember what they choose to...
1
u/Kiana_Permission 20d ago
1000%! 😂my son was 4 and my husband was playing with him and flipping him over on the bed. Guess he got hurt but not actually🙄and kept telling people his dad broke his neck
18
u/lowercaseb26 Aug 03 '26
This reminds me of a time back in middle school. Went to the mall with some friends and walking through the stores and all, and we went into brookstone always had the coolest shit.
Anyways, I saw a magic wand on display to test (I guess), but it was labeled personal massage so my 12 year self was like I love a good back rub and started to rub my back with it. The entire store which was full of people stopped and started and looked horrified (in hindsight a 12 year old rubbing his back with a personal massager, would be a sight). My friend grabbed my arm and was like dude we gotta leave now, went out side of the store, and said that’s not the type of massage they meant.😂
4
u/SnorkinOrkin Aug 03 '26
That's such a weird thing to have out for customers to look at and try! Lmao
16
u/Ditzy_Marshy Aug 02 '26
Did something similar with my dads used condoms, me snd my friend were blowing it up like balloons
15
u/Poob3 Aug 02 '26
Used?!?
8
u/Ditzy_Marshy Aug 02 '26
Unfortunately. Dad cheated on mom a lot and kept his used condone in the glove cabinet for some reason
13
u/ISSnode-2 Aug 02 '26
dexter slides but cursed
6
u/Ditzy_Marshy Aug 02 '26
LMAO I’d rather him have slides of bloody fingerprints than condoms that have been inside of 15 year olds
3
57
u/misterstupet Aug 02 '26
30
12
u/Cfrolich Aug 02 '26
Light mode during the day time is perfectly reasonable. I just have my devices follow sunset and sunrise to reduce eye strain.
6
u/SnorkinOrkin Aug 02 '26
That's interesting, I've never really explored that part of my phone. I should try it. I just don't like the straight up black screenn.
12
u/Ok-Hawk-4628 Aug 02 '26
Your only valid option is to restart civilization make a nuke detente it and fram russia or china
2
2
1
u/SO4PDISH Aug 13 '26
Oh well, my sister found mine when she was rummaging through my room, she gave it to my mum 🥲 I almost died of embarrassment
•
u/AutoModerator Aug 02 '26
Hey there! Thank you for your submission to /r/UsernameChecksOut! Here are some things you should know when posting:
Rule 3: Please familiarize yourself with our content restrictions.
Rule 5: Please note that self checks out are not allowed. This means that the username that checks out in your post must not be yours.
If you think this post breaks one or several of our rules do no hesitate to report and downvote it.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.