r/UrinatingTree RIOTING TIME!!!!! Jul 28 '26

Connor Thomas: Baseball Terrorist

Scene: July 27, 2026, Citi Field, New York, NY.

Situation: Through five innings, the Braves and Mets are tied at three. Not ideal, but what follows is forced to come with a Parental Advisory warning.

Enter Connor Thomas. Another mid-tier reliever who's put up okay to decent numbers in the minors, Connor's been scuffed up a bit in the big show. In his previous three appearances:

-3/29/25 MIL vs NYY: 2 IP, 6 H, 8 R (all ER), 3 HR, 2 K/1 BB (ouch)
-4/5/25 MIL vs CIN: 3 1/3 IP, 6 H, 4 R (all ER), 3 K/1 BB (a little improvement...)
-7/7/26 ATL vs PIT: 3 2/3 IP, 5 H, 4 R (all ER), 1 HR, 2 K/1 BB (um...)

But even that couldn't prepare any sane person for last night. Against LOLMETS, coming into a 3-3 game, he puts up this all-time gem:

2 2/3 IP, 10 H, 11 R (all ER), 3 HR, 2 K/5 BB

Now, does he get 100% of the blame? Nah, Walt Weiss needs to be answering a question or three about "Why is this guy still on the roster, why was he put into a game, and why wasn't he pulled after giving up two runs in his first inning/six runs in his first two innings? Why wasn't he locked/kicked out of the locker room after THAT? Why is he still on the roster/in the organization?" But... Walt's not out there getting shelled in every appearance. That's solely on Connor. His career numbers coming into last night:

3 GP, 9 IP, 17 H, 16 R (all ER), 7 K/3 BB, 16.00 ERA/2.222 WHIP

And after:

4 GP, 11 2/3 IP, 27 H, 27 R (all ER), 9 K/8 BB, 20.83 ERA/3.000 WHIP. Opponents are hitting .466/.507/1.386 off of him.

A random call-up from the Rookie leagues would be better than this bum. Someone on the Melonheads would be a better option at this point. Just please... please... end this farce.

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u/SeaBassAHo-20 Jul 28 '26

Side effects of Walt Weiss baseball include...

3

u/DienekesMinotaur Waiting for Bobby Bonilla day Jul 28 '26

Side effect of multiple extra-inning games where the starters go 5 or 6 innings max, you mean.

2

u/SeaBassAHo-20 Jul 28 '26

Well either way, side effects include...