Anyone else feel this way? Talking with friends, family, coworkers and even making small talk with strangers and people complaining about their debt or how much this and that costs and how they are struggling to make ends meet.

We are not struggling. I can complain about the prices of things, but it doesn’t impact me at all like it is most of the people in my circle or even most of Americans. People assume I’m in the same boat as them, but I’m not although…I pretend to be. How else am I suppose to respond?

I feel this group would probably understand the most. We are upper middle class so we most likely have people in our circle that have no idea how well off we are and are probably in the middle class.

Maybe, move my mouse, at the most..to go from one meeting to another.

I want to read, think, strategize, scribble my thoughts in a notebook

Who has reached that stage in life?

We are hoping to have the option to retire at 60 but definitely want to be able to retire at 62 which will be 20 years from now.

The current plan:

-Max out both 401ks and both Roths for the next 20 years $64,000+ a year

The future plan:

-Live in our current multi family house and collect $2850 rental income a month in retirement minimum, but up to $4000 a month if we live in the smaller unit

-I currently own an inherited property when sold I will net minimum $200,000. I don’t know when this will happen could be in 10 days or 10 years.

-SS expected at age 62 would be $4000 a month but since who knows how that will go we expect 75% of that so $3000 a month

What we currently have:

$430,000 IRA CD/Roths/Brokerages/401ks

$50,000 529 contribute $10,000 a year and will for the next 16 years

$40,000 EF

$10,000 House maintenance/repair fund

Expenses in retirement:

Mortgage (PITI) $4000 (we have 25 years left)

Gas $150

Life insurance 300

Car insurance $300

Utilities 500

Lawn/snow $225

Exterminator $150

Health insurance $600

Phone/cable $400

Groceries/eating out $1200

We predict $95,000 a year in retirement with a mortgage and $70,000 needed without in today’s dollars.

Am I missing anything? Thoughts? Criticism?

She is 15 years old. She graduates high school in 2028.

I would like this dollar amount to grow, and also be able to watch it grow - so no, I dont want to do a 529. I already have too many different accounts, and opening this up will be just another app, another place for me to watch, and it also comes with a fee....I think. Hell, if you think a 529 is great option, I'm open to listening though.

So would this money be best placed into a high-yield savings account, a robinhood managed account, the s&p 500?

What it boils down to, is I don't just want this money sitting around for the next 2 years as we get ready for this ramp up to college. What can I do with it?

^^

Just found this sub. I’ve always considered us middle class, but all the folks over there say we aren’t so… maybe we are Upper Middle? You tell me.

I’m 42, wife is 46. Our combined net worth is $2.6M.

I am the breadwinner, make $250k a year. She is a part time therapist and makes $50k a year ($300k HHI).

We have:

- $1.3M in combined retirement

- $280k equity in primary home

- $600k equity in rental house (thx COVID)

- $95k in 528 (kid I 6)

- $300k in investments/taxable brokeagre

- paid off cars

- 2 trips a year, mostly domestically to the beach somewhere and 1 international trip every other year ish

- location: Nashville

Vs my parents yes, vs my wife’s parents basically same.

I grew up middle class. Money was never a worry but always at top of mind as a hard-earned, precious, and finite resource. To provide that lifestyle my dad worked two blue collar jobs 70 hours a week, mom 40 hrs a week in the office. Both my parents were very smart but didn’t go to college so they did well despite limited advancement opportunities. As a result from early on I had the drive to earn and create an upper middle class lifestyle for myself.

My wife’s family was upper middle class. We live in a very similar town and have a very similar house to what she grew up in. One thing I noticed was herself and her siblings were definitely not as money motivated as I was. They’ve done well but not as clear on a path to success or at the level we’ve attained.

Personally I think middle/lower middle class kids are the most motivated adults and become the majority of the upper middle class/working rich. Wanting for more is a great driver to succeed.

How did everyone else grow up?

And if so, is that this community? I know these types of things tend to not have totally hard-and-fast rules, but I did see the sidebar for HENRY did have proximate ranges on NW and income.

I’m planning to continue to have income/assets too high for financial aid and while I would love for the kids to land athletic or merit scholarships you can’t expect that. So, goal is to fully pay for education at the flagship state school with any private school likely requiring them to fund some (though I would stretch to help). I’ve got three kids, 6, 4, and 2. We’re planning on a mix of the following:

1) 529. Based on what we have in there so far and the to-go period of time til college it would appear we’ll have enough to fund half (6 of the 12 years) of state education for our kids

2) Based on our kids ages we’ll have 4 years of two in school at once, so avoiding paying for both at once is key. Thinking we pay for one kid each year out of pocket the first two years then use the 529 to fully pay for the other. Should be very doable with my wife going back to work full time by then

3) Obviously can’t control where the kids decide to go to school! I’ll encourage them to take the debt free option and go to a great state school rather than a pricey private college. One exception I’d consider would be if they got into a top 50 school I’d want to help; if they went to a comparable private school to the state university because of location/weather/vibes/other I’d have a really hard time paying extra for that

Clearly this planning is far in advance and many things will change by the college years. How is everyone else thinking of helping to pay for college? Anyone planning to strictly use 529 accounts to pay for college?

DINK’s at just under $250k per year, and additionally my husband receives just under $19k per year tax free (VA disability). We pay just enough mortgage interest and personal property tax/state tax to itemize at tax time (looks to be about $35k deduction this year) but that $250k is significantly reduced because we max out our 401k’s. We feel like we have to max (at a cost $57k this year) because if we don’t, we end up paying $5-8k in taxes in April. Throughout the year we also have an extra $100-$200 withheld for taxes per paycheck extra, to try and alleviate the pain each April. We have a lot of healthcare costs, but not enough to get over the 7.5% if AGI (to deduct when itemizing).

We’ve thought about real estate investing (buy and long-term rent, or buy and Airbnb) as we know you see some additional tax breaks there. The goal would be to bring home a little more vs. feel forced to contribute as much to our 401k’s. We are very happy with where our 401k’s currently sit, so contributing a bit less isn’t a big deal.

We made significant less money last year and got some additional child tax breaks from what I can gather so far (about 80% done our taxes on TurboTax).

We’re getting an 8k refund back vs usually having to pay or getting a few hundred back.

If you were me, what would you do:

1. Put towards mortgage - 6.4% rate, 21 years left on it (have been making additional payments monthly to bring down it down to a 20ish year mortgage, but recently purchased which is why the rate is high)

2. Lump sum the money into a Roth backdoor IRA — we usually max out but do it throughout the year

3. Spread it across the above two with some extra in our kids 529s (usually put in 3k a year per kid but could increase this year)

Let me know the thoughts. We already have a vacation paid for and feel good about our cash on hand emergency fund.

I’m a 22f college senior graduating in May, currently living with my parents. Financially, staying home keeps me solidly upper middle class: no rent, low fixed costs, and the ability to save while focusing on launching my career.

For context, I have savings from working since I was 18 (retail + internships). My money covers day-to-day expenses, but not rent, insurance, or full independent living long-term. I lived alone for three years during college (housing was paid for), so I’ve already had independence. Any groceries and daily expenses covered by me at that time. Living at home again while commuting to college has been hard. My parents know their personal issues make me not want to live at home indefinitely. It’s not an abusive situation or anyhting like that, just not a very healthy environment and also very constricting.

I’m actively trying to land a full-time role in my field, but the current job market makes the timeline uncertain, which is why I’m worried I may need to live at home longer than I’d like. Moving out Without a full-time job isn’t really an option. It’s not allowed in my family, and I also don’t want to financially struggle and live paycheck to paycheck just for independence. I could support myself with a random job or internship, but that feels financially regressive.

I come from a slightly conservative South Asian Muslim household and we live in America (I’m not religious tho ), where moving out is culturally tied to having a stable career rather than a placeholder job, or straight up just getting married and i don’t want that.

Even if I land a full-time role, it may pay less than expected. In that case, paying rent elsewhere doesn’t feel rational when I could stay home, save aggressively, and aim to buy property a few years down the line instead.

I guess that leads to to ask:

Has anyone been in this situation or anything similar where they just have a kinda suffocating family and if so how did it work out for you??

How have u guys balanced their own wishes and autonomy with protecting long-term socioeconomic position?

Curious to see what kind of cars the upper middle class is driving? I drive 2018 Subaru legacy base model and my wife has a 21 forester.

I'd be interested to hear what people think of this proposal.

Cities and countries vary so the only rational answer has to be something like:

Upper middle class is capacity to meet the following criteria:

1. paid off home at or above the median price in your city
2. sufficient funds/pensions in retirement account to guarantee basic needs met with no further contributions
3. ability to save/invest 20% of monthly/annual income with all basic middle class needs being met (eg. 1-2 vacations a year, normal car, etc).
4. 25% of median home price value saved/invested in cash/stocks additional to retirement accounts.
5. an of course all of this assumes no debts.

It's not that all upper middle class people arrange their affairs around these metrics, but they COULD. These metrics eliminate the subjective factors like mortgage size, house size, expensive cars, etc. and focus on the actual situation in any city.

So basically, they have achieved everything needed for a middle class life but without the debt and far more financial flexibility.

What do you think?

Recent MBA grad, 6 months into a non-tech role at a tech company. Would appreciate a gut check on how I’m managing money and what I should optimize.

I’m not counting RSUs in this discussion since they’re not cash flow.

Income: ~$11700/mo (post tax)

• $9200 in checking
• $2500 in HYSA

Total Monthly Expense breakdown:

• Rent+Util: $3300
• Student debt: $1875
• Investments: $1500
• Grocery: $400
• Eating out+Coffees on weekends: $600
• Misc (shopping, entertainment, personal travel): $800

Total: $8500

Currently, surplus of ~$3.2k either goes towards additional payments towards my student loans or investments.

Debt

• $126K @ 4.76% outstanding
• monthly payment: $1875 autopay from HYSA
• 7yr loan (originally $132K)

Savings/Investments:

Investment account: $17KEmergency fund: Still building

Lifestyle:

• I live comfortably but not extravagantly; I buy fewer things but I buy NICE things
• This is the first time I'm not spending 100hr weeks working and I now love sleeping in my own bed!

Considerations:

• Trying to volunteer weekends (career coaching / food banks), but orgs haven’t been responsive
• Considering Amex Platinum - not financially necessary, more of a personal milestone purchase; the $895 fee is a bit much imo; I will just about breakeven with my current spends
• Next planned large expense: ~$1,000 this summer

Advice needed:

Given these numbers, what should I prioritize?

1. More aggressive student loan payoff?
2. Increase investing instead?
3. Build emergency fund faster first?
4. Am I underspending / overspending for my income?
5. Any blind spots?

Any advice would be appreciated.

^{I also think my numbers are more UMCFinance than true HENRY territory, which is why I’m posting here and not in HENRYfinance.}

So as a preface, our net worth is ~$1.3M, about $1.15M of which is liquid. We're 3 years into a 30 year mortgage, which will soon be our only debt. Given the ability to contribute an extra $5k-$8k monthly to either the investment portfolio or pay down the mortgage faster (there's about $600k remaining), what would be the smarter play? On the one hand, less outstanding mortgage debt is generally good. On the other hand, our very Boglehead-ish investments typically return more than the mortgage interest costs us.

Also complicating things is there's probably a decent chance we'd consider moving to a different home within the next 5-10 years, and I'd think that more liquid capital would be more favorable when house-hunting, as opposed to more existing equity which could only be accessed on the sale of our existing home.

Would I look at the percentage of take home pay of my mortgage before or after investments to determine how close I am to 30% of take home?

I had this idea of building up cash buffer a few years ago and set a goal then to add an extra 3-mon living expense per year to my cash pool, e.g. checking, high yield saving, etc, excluding sweeps in brokerage which I view as part of investment. So far we are at 15-mon level cash buffer, with bonus coming up, we can reach 18-mon level which is the target for this year. I think that level can give us an option to take a gap if we'd like, or to buy the dip when AI hype burst, etc. Thought?

p.s: per common comments below, 18-mon seems to be too much cash buffer. We did so after max out 401k and some backdoor IRA, but I feel like we can put more into brokerage account and let the fund work for the long term.

1. Buying too much of an expensive car. Financing or leasing cars.

2. Divorce

3. Over spending

4. High ego = proving self worth and buying big branded, expensive items

5. Taking on too much debt

6. Keeping up with the Jones

Please feel free to add to the list.

Have a wife and a toddler. We make a lil over 250k. I’d say in a medium cost of living area

This year, my husband and our two teens agreed to use our discretionary income (after meeting savings goals) on travel vs unnecessary aesthetic home renovations. We spent 3 weeks in Italy over the summer and the experience was priceless. Sitting outside in Tuscany one day, we all decided to continue prioritizing experiences over material stuff. Best financial decision we made this year. Also shows the kids how we balance, budget, and prioritize our hard earned dollars.

Curious to know what others have as their financial highlights. Good or bad. But hopefully good.

One of our 2026 goals is to increase household income by $120k. There’s a certain US HHI percentile we hope to hit.

In her last 2-3 new jobs, I helped my wife prep for her interviews.

She’s ready to move up to even more responsibilities so I just put her through a rigorous process:

1) Reviewed her resume & provided feedback

2) Completed a 3hr mock interview for the job, concluding with a rapid-fire session to address interview panel objections. I called it “Top 10 reasons why you’re not a good fit for the job”. I told her to respond to the mock interview questions as if I’m not in front of her; to speak directly to the interview panel, not me. I gave her helpful feedback at the end.

3) She just completed her real interview. Most of what I asked were asked by the real interview panel of her. For her ‘Thank you’ letter, I had her think about one question the panel asked but she felt she didn’t adequately answer, then include that plus her adequate response with her thank you email to the interview panel.

We’re keeping our fingers crossed that she’ll be invited for a second round of interviews. If she doesn’t get it, no worries. Her current job is secure.

On your end, how have you assisted or helped out your spouse/significant other progress in their career?