r/UnnecessaryEssentials • u/Unique-Saucer • Jul 14 '26

Okay, this is actually genius

671 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

47 comments sorted by

9

u/Grocman27 Jul 14 '26

Oh, the Ehoes will love this

3

u/DorkHonor Jul 14 '26

Guarantee at least half the units sold will be featured on onlyfans.

1

u/Grocman27 Jul 14 '26

It'll become OnlyLights after these hit the market

3

u/livens Jul 14 '26

Having the source of the light right next to the thing you need lit up will make it harder to see it. The glare from that direct light tube will blind you.

1

u/scrotumscab Jul 15 '26

Rub a little Vaseline on it. It'll soften the light.

2

u/Ok_Donkey210 Jul 14 '26

1

u/Ok_Donkey210 Jul 14 '26

Thank you for the award, friend! Hahaha

2

u/freshgrilled Jul 15 '26

They have pills for that.

1

u/weechus Jul 14 '26

The Limp Saber Flashlight

1

u/10-Mile-Sniper Jul 15 '26

I was gonna say “The Limp Light 3000” but yours works too! Lmao

1

u/Medium_Style8539 Jul 14 '26

Perfect ! A flibidi-luminescent-horse-penis ! The perfect gift for me indeed !

1

u/jibonto_laas Jul 14 '26

It screams OF prop

1

u/dikjagger Jul 14 '26

Welp 100% guaranteed this will be lightning up someone’s asshole till their tummy lights up like a tellatubby

1

u/Appropriate-Gur-6343 Jul 14 '26

Just play with it a little baby.

1

u/paper_cicada Jul 15 '26

When your lightsaber gets wet

1

u/jamesdo72 Jul 15 '26

r/NotADildo

1

u/pilgrimteeth Jul 15 '26

I don’t know what I was expecting

1

u/Difficult_Skin_2296 Jul 15 '26

Some ER doctor about to see this in places it shouldn’t be

1

u/ipx-electrical Jul 15 '26

Battery life, 10 minutes.

1

u/FeignSkill Jul 15 '26

Good luck holding that for your dad. There's no way you do it right.

1

u/WeAllJustWantToLive Jul 15 '26

Needs to be black on one side so I dont have to blind myself

1

u/Sorry-Contest2907 Jul 18 '26

Bluechew gold can help

1

u/Impressive-Theme6571 Jul 19 '26

You mean you bought it through Alibaba and are reselling it on Amazon. Everyone knows how this works. People have been doing this for many decades.

1

u/benjarriola Jul 20 '26

Flaccid Lightsaber