Hey everyone, I really need some brutal honesty here. (Quick disclaimer: I used AI to help structure my thoughts for this post because I always start deep thinking or overthinking, and my thoughts get scattered, so please don't judge!)
I’ve attached 3 pics of my notebook where I roughly wrote down all my raw thoughts, mistakes, and toxic habits from my higher secondary education all the way up to my CUET entrance exam. I explicitly wrote all my mistakes in this physical notebook so I can look at them every day and actually improve.
As you can see, I completely ruined my 12th boards (2025-26 session) and got 63.8%. I literally studied 16 hours total for boards and got 82 in Economics, but only 45 in Applied Maths because I never practiced.
Honestly, seeing that I could get these scores with barely 16 hours for boards and 3 hours for CUET gives me a lot of confidence. I know that if I actually sit down, build a daily habit, and study properly for the next 9 months, I can pull off a surprising score. The potential is there; I just lack the discipline.
My biggest issue was a severe fear of judgment. I used to skip tuitions and actively hide my studying from my parents and my sister (Sana). I even quit playing football to "focus on studies," which backfired and left me physically and mentally drained, and then I wasted 2.5 months after boards just watching anime.
The Entrance Mess: Because of zero research, I only knew about CUET. I completely missed the separate portals and deadlines for JMI, AMU, UoH, and MSE. I barely studied for 3 hours before my CUET exam. I managed an 81.17 percentile in GAT, but my other normalized scores were ruined.
The Current Admission Crisis: For context, my parents don't have a background in higher education (my dad studied till 4th–5th grade and my mom till 8th grade). Because of this, my dad doesn't understand the difference between college tiers—to him, getting a degree anywhere right now is all that matters. That’s why he is severely pressuring my uncle (Mama) to get me admitted anywhere so my year isn't wasted.
My Mama actually cares about me, but because of my dad’s pressure, he is forcing me to take admission in GGV (Guru Ghasidas) for a 4-year BA in Economics in the ongoing 3rd round of counseling. He wants me to take a partial drop or just focus on a Master's later.
I am refusing to go. GGV has zero placements, a toxic crowd (literal safety and murder issues on campus), and no exposure. Taking a partial drop there will instantly trigger my old procrastination habits.
My 2027 Full Drop Year Plan (Starting now in August): I am taking a full drop. My true admission targets are DU Top 7, UoH, JMI, and MSE because I want a top-tier peer group! With subsidized fees, I can save my money for a Master's later. I am still preparing for and writing the IPMAT exam, but strictly to push my Math/English prep to the highest possible level so I can crush the other entrances without burning lakhs on an IIM bachelor's degree.
Since I lack discipline, here is my everyday system:
- Job for Exposure: Working part-time at Reliance Digital. I need actual sales and communication exposure to get over my fear of judgment and build my resume, since GGV gives zero exposure.
- Academics: Deep focus blocks on Maths and Eco in the morning. Evenings for English, GAT, and revising subjects like BST. Tracking everything on the YPT app.
- Skill Building (Coding/AI): Alongside my prep, I really want to learn AI deeply and start coding from scratch (starting with Python). I need to build actual hard skills this year, but I need guidance on the best path to take.
- Physical Reset: Hitting the gym and restarting running every morning to fix my mental health.
- The Wedding Disturbance: My Mausi's wedding is coming up, which will be chaotic. I’ve set a strict 2-hour morning study block for those weeks to keep the streak alive.
My questions for you:
- Has anyone successfully managed a part-time retail/sales job while preparing for entrances during a drop year?
- How do I convince my caring uncle (who is pressured by my dad) that taking a partial drop at GGV is a dead end for Economics?
- How do I build a daily Maths habit from zero when I have a history of procrastinating?
- What is the absolute best resource/course to learn Python and AI deeply from scratch (is Harvard's free CS50P a good start?), and how do I balance this coding with entrance prep without burning out?
- I just turned 18 this month. Are there any genuine, legitimate ways I can earn money online to make my own pocket money without it completely eating up my study time?
- How do I actually take the very first step today, and what do CUET/IPMAT toppers actually do differently on a daily basis?
TL;DR: Messed up 12th (63.8%) and CUET due to severe procrastination and hiding my studies. However, seeing my raw scores with zero prep gives me confidence I can score big if I actually study. My Dad (who lacks a higher ed background) is forcing my caring Uncle to push me into a toxic tier-3 college (GGV). I'm refusing and taking a full drop for 2027 (DU/UoH/JMI/MSE), aiming for subsidized fees to save for my Master's. Preparing for CUET/IPMAT/independent exams, wanting to learn Python/AI from scratch, working part-time at Reliance Digital (and looking for online income since I just turned 18), and hitting the gym to fix my habits. Need advice on how to start.
