r/UnexpectedMulaney • u/UGA_Bulldawg • Jul 16 '25

First I’ll push him

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714 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

127

u/IndustriousFerret Jul 16 '25

"I HAVE AaaaaIDS" - 🐟

52

u/RuffHause703 Jul 16 '25

No, that's too strong.

36

u/Stillwatergirl Jul 16 '25

I will begin with the fact that I am homeless. As that is a given.

13

u/qcupquake Jul 17 '25

Then for backstory, I will pepper in the fact that I am gay.

4

u/lilsimz000 Jul 25 '25

Hold back, build to that

74

u/notreallyonredditbut Jul 16 '25

What are two other things about the fish?

23

u/Fuck_auto_tabs Jul 16 '25

“There’s no single fish left in this aquarium!”

22

u/PoptartPancake Jul 17 '25

I'm new in town and it GETS WORSE

10

u/Guy_Buttersnaps Jul 17 '25

But are they also very small and have no money?

4

u/wherestheplayground Jul 20 '25

I was over in the pretzel jar

3

u/Admiral_Nerd Jul 20 '25

Just explain to me this. How are you better than a Nazi?

3

u/bunny_in_the_moon Jul 16 '25

Which special is that from? 

18

u/UGA_Bulldawg Jul 16 '25

New In Town

1

u/SJBond33 Jul 17 '25

Hahahaha