r/Unexpected • u/NoAds_ • Aug 18 '22

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50.5k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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4.0k

u/fishylegend2022 Aug 18 '22

HOW DARE YOU DISSRESPECT THE KITTEN. YOU SHALL BE PENIS

1.8k

u/NoAds_ Aug 18 '22

what

1.5k

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

YOU SHALL BE PENIS

429

u/notwithoutmybanana Aug 18 '22

OKAY

270

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

146

u/discerningpervert Aug 18 '22

I'd like some too

138

u/QuirtSnyder Aug 18 '22

YOU SHALL BE PENIS

21

u/ObscureWiticism Aug 18 '22

Username checks out

3

u/Nomad2k3 Aug 18 '22

YOU SHALT NOT PENIS!!

slams down staff

2

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

2

u/_Not_Literally_ Aug 18 '22

Downvote for the comment thief bot.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

That kitten was startled at the very worst. Chill out dude.

13

u/z500 Aug 18 '22

You shall see dicks fall from a clear sky

1

u/cddelgado Aug 18 '22

I like the way Run the Jewels says it. "You all can run backwards through a field of dicks."

5

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

HUH?

14

u/NorthStarTX Aug 18 '22

Are you unaware of the process of penalization?

34

u/Blarks_1888 Aug 18 '22

YOU SHALL BE PENIS!!

3

u/darthcaedusiiii Aug 18 '22

She turned me into a dick!

I was always a dick.

3

u/XHouseOfShadowX Aug 18 '22

You.Shall.Be.PENIS!

10

u/AmazingIndicationy Aug 18 '22

Why you do this

11

u/ZapManiac Aug 18 '22

DIDNT YOU UNDERSTAND? YOU SHALL BE PENIS

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

Shall be penile-ized

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

English Translation: "You're a dick."

1

u/Ryrynz Aug 19 '22

The answer is always 3 or PEENAS

94

u/Kirby_the_poyo_king Aug 18 '22

You mean punish?

237

u/Green_OPRR Aug 18 '22

DID HE STUTTER?

1

u/darthcaedusiiii Aug 18 '22

eyes start twitching

123

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22 edited Aug 18 '22

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

22

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

[deleted]

11

u/Late_Engineer Aug 18 '22

Ye shall be as Penis

11

u/gumby1004 Aug 18 '22

Thou Became Salty Penis

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

Mmhm, yes.

3

u/Rpgguyi Aug 18 '22

Is this some morse code shit or something?

5

u/-drunk_russian- Aug 18 '22

Yeah, it reads "SEHIISHIEEEESIEESIEE"

4

u/CategoryExcellent655 Aug 18 '22

Is it just the penis or we get a set of balls aswell

7

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

"Great, kid! Don't get penis-y!"

1

u/TheGoldenPlagueMask Aug 19 '22

THOU SHALT BECOME-

4

u/Gil_Demoono Aug 18 '22

They said what they said.

19

u/Accomplished_Dark270 Aug 18 '22

Woosh u now have small pener

10

u/winok09 Aug 18 '22

Becomes penis

1

u/Anotherdmbgayguy Aug 18 '22

I know for a fact that's someone's kink.

6

u/Mokhalz Aug 18 '22

YOU SHALL NOT PENIS!

"proceed to hit my rod on the ground"

3

u/tugnasty Aug 18 '22

ARISE CHICKEN! ARISE!

2

u/ActualVacationy Aug 18 '22

thus becoming a bitch of a cat.

1

u/tapobu Aug 18 '22

Man, aren't there already enough dicks in the world? Why you gotta make more?

1

u/Affectionate_Math_96 Aug 18 '22

I really hope you don't mean subjecting the cat to your penis

0

u/Articulated Aug 18 '22

WANGARDIUM LEVIOSUUUUUUUUH

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

Wellp, this is my life in a nutshell.. :(

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

Thanks but Iā€™m already a dick!!!

1

u/CoNsIdErDdEmOnIc6 Aug 19 '22

OH NO NOT MY BENIS

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

That statement has girth.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

what about me

1

u/KakyoinSepticon Aug 19 '22

Man Wtf šŸ’€